What to do about breadcrumbs during no contact?

[Infern0]

So a plate who i was seeing up until late last week, I made some beta moves, which was my bad. I was going through some **** at the time regarding a family member having developed cancer etc and wasn't coping to well so i beta'd up.

She mentioned "friends" which stupidly lead to "the talk" but essentially i said "no friends, not now, not ever"

I did the corey wayne of walking away and said if she comes to her senses to contact me, otherwise, peace out. She said she understood.

Fast forward a couple of days and already she was starting to break NC, first trying to refollow me on instagram after i kicked her off it, then when i blocked that getting her friend to message me (i said tell her to grow a pair and talk to me herself if she's ready to stop playing games)

Then for the past 3 days in a row she has messaged me with breadcrumbs.

The first two days i ignored but today i just replied briefly and politely, said i was out with a friend but to have a good night.

She hit back inside 15 seconds with "what friend?"

I ignored.

Anyway, do i just continue what i'm doing?

She is my favorite plate, and i DID mess up so i'm wanting to try again, but if it's not gonna happen i'm cool with that too.

 

[Infern0]

post

This one i'm talking about is a man-eater and prides herself on it. Going straight NC and not being a ***** about it definatley shook her.

On the same level i'm not so full of ego that i don't know when I made a mistake and it was ME who turned her from purring like a kitten to starting to doubt me.

Not sure if i'll throw a bone yet, she isn't showing me much but obviously if she brings something up then i'll tell her to come over.

For now though i'll keep on with the polite but disinterested routine as it seems to be getting to her.

 

[El Payaso]

You're doing good so far.

She thinks you've found another woman.

Just say "a friend".

 

[Glassguy]

Just ignore it.

I learned (the hard way) that when you bite on the breadcrumbs you never get served the entire piece.

What is there to respond to? "Hey how are you?". "What are you doing?". If she wanted to end it, its no fvcking business of hers.

Now its different if she says "Come over and see me tonight", "Can we hook up Friday night", etc.

If she reaches that hard, make the decision to see her or not. I would keep it strictly to come over and fvck. She is demoted at this point.

Oh, if she reaches out and invites sechs and for ANY reason doesnt make it happen, delete...delete....delete......

I can guarantee you one thing. If you respond to the texts about "nothing" you will never get her mind spun around.

Breadcrumb texts are only used by women to see if you are still there. My last LTR was hot, educated, 12 years younger than I. When we broke up I bit on some of those. They make it seem like its headed somewhere and then shut it down before something does physically happen. I have no doubt that if I TOTALLY ignored her, she would have done a 180.

To this day she still sends me breadcrumb texts after breaking up 16 months ago. She saw me out with friends one night and texted me "You could at least say hi and act like we had a good thing while it lasted". I responded with "Didnt see you, but if you want to hook up later after I am done having fun with my buddies, let me know".

The last one was a long long text wishing me a happy birthday. All she got from me was "thanks".

Dont feed the monster, let it come to you. If it doesnt, who gives a sh!t.

 

[Dash Riprock]

So a plate who i was seeing up until late last week, I made some beta moves, which was my bad. I was going through some **** at the time regarding a family member having developed cancer etc and wasn't coping to well so i beta'd up.

She mentioned "friends" which stupidly lead to "the talk" but essentially i said "no friends, not now, not ever"

I did the corey wayne of walking away and said if she comes to her senses to contact me, otherwise, peace out. She said she understood.

Fast forward a couple of days and already she was starting to break NC, first trying to refollow me on instagram after i kicked her off it, then when i blocked that getting her friend to message me (i said tell her to grow a pair and talk to me herself if she's ready to stop playing games)

Then for the past 3 days in a row she has messaged me with breadcrumbs.

The first two days i ignored but today i just replied briefly and politely, said i was out with a friend but to have a good night.

She hit back inside 15 seconds with "what friend?"

I ignored.

Anyway, do i just continue what i'm doing?

She is my favorite plate, and i DID mess up so i'm wanting to try again, but if it's not gonna happen i'm cool with that too.

It's too soon. If you feel the whole thing was caused by your beta behavior as you stated, then reaching out now, crumbs or not, looks a bit too desperate IMO. What's the harm in giving it a few weeks? Then, ping her if you want. Get a date with a HB7/8 in the interim to build your confidence.

 

[jboyd5]

So a plate who i was seeing up until late last week, I made some beta moves, which was my bad. I was going through some **** at the time regarding a family member having developed cancer etc and wasn't coping to well so i beta'd up.

She mentioned "friends" which stupidly lead to "the talk" but essentially i said "no friends, not now, not ever"

I did the corey wayne of walking away and said if she comes to her senses to contact me, otherwise, peace out. She said she understood.

Fast forward a couple of days and already she was starting to break NC, first trying to refollow me on instagram after i kicked her off it, then when i blocked that getting her friend to message me (i said tell her to grow a pair and talk to me herself if she's ready to stop playing games)

Then for the past 3 days in a row she has messaged me with breadcrumbs.

The first two days i ignored but today i just replied briefly and politely, said i was out with a friend but to have a good night.

She hit back inside 15 seconds with "what friend?"

I ignored.

Anyway, do i just continue what i'm doing?

She is my favorite plate, and i DID mess up so i'm wanting to try again, but if it's not gonna happen i'm cool with that too.

Idk sounds like you are doing good in this situation. Shes chasing you and even shows a little jealousy. Can't lose a girl if she is chasing you. Girls will say a lot but not mean it, its her actions that will give it away. Playing aloof for a bit may help the attraction level rise again while you spin your plates.

 

[darksprezzatura]

If you are operating in her frame, which is evident according to the NC, block her out.

It's always easier to start a new relationship than stay stuck to failed ones. You'll be happier.

Ditch that scarcity mentality.

 

[Infern0]

Idk sounds like you are doing good in this situation. Shes chasing you and even shows a little jealousy. Can't lose a girl if she is chasing you. Girls will say a lot but not mean it, its her actions that will give it away. Playing aloof for a bit may help the attraction level rise again while you spin your plates.

Im tending to think this.

The guys saying ignore or w/e i disagree for a couple of reasons

1 it shows butthurt, or imo you only go nc and ignore if you are real cut up over it which im not.

2 she is on the humble, her communication style has changed, shes gone from arrogant to being timid in the messages

To me i do feel its going well but if she doesnt make a more substantial move soon i will change it up a bit

 

[BeTheChange]

Frame is about doing what you want to do and operating within a reality that best serves your self interest.

Regardless of the reason, she still dumped you. That alone should warrant minimal investment. If you donchoose to oursue you need to be as outcome independent as possible. Also this kind of early attachment wouldn't be happening if you'd spin plates.

 

[Bingo-Player]

one week is not enough no contact for them

certaintly not enough to get her to the point you want her at

DR bingo player prescribes a 6 week dose ......minimum

at 6 weeks if shes still chasing then you will know shes really regretting losing you

if not you will at least of had time to properly evaluate the situation and decide if you still want her in your life , if you wish you purse then it will be your turn to give her some breadcrumbs

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

It's a test to see if you are a man of strong convictions. A self-professed 'man-eater' is not used to men walking away from her. So that's what you need to do.

You need to reiterate that she should get in touch only if she wants to go out / hang out / make out; otherwise you won't be responding to her text because you wont ever see her as just a friend.

If you make it clear as day like this, then you can't be blamed for being ignorant or unavailable.

if she comes to her senses

Also, don't go making wild accusations where they are not warranted. Either you went beta and she reacted to that (as you describe), or she took leave of her senses. Decide for yourself which it was and behave accordingly.

 

[Glassguy]

one week is not enough no contact for them

certaintly not enough to get her to the point you want her at

DR bingo player prescribes a 6 week dose ......minimum

at 6 weeks if shes still chasing then you will know shes really regretting losing you

if not you will at least of had time to properly evaluate the situation and decide if you still want her in your life , if you wish you purse then it will be your turn to give her some breadcrumbs

Good stuff.

4 weeks minimum, 6 weeks is ideal. It lets you step outside the situation long enough to make rational decisions about the woman/relationship.

Most of the time a man should reflect back on the bad parts of the relationship and why it failed and realize that there are better, more quality women out there than the ex. Too many guys focus on the great parts about the relationship soon after the breakup, which should be remembered later once you have detached yourself from it. Focus on the poor parts of it and it will help you get over it faster.

I cant think of one instance that I detached myself from an ex for more than 4 weeks and actually wanted to go back to her. I normally move on quickly and at this point in my game, I know there is a better one around the next corner.

 

[nismo-4]

Im tending to think this.

The guys saying ignore or w/e i disagree for a couple of reasons

1 it shows butthurt, or imo you only go nc and ignore if you are real cut up over it which im not.

2 she is on the humble, her communication style has changed, shes gone from arrogant to being timid in the messages

To me i do feel its going well but if she doesnt make a more substantial move soon i will change it up a bit

From my experience, she just wants you as a beta orbiter or validator.

It's best to ignore. When I see I didn't get past a first date or NEXTed, I delete the number and all platforms. I'll even block if needed.

I'm not interested in platonic relationships.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Good stuff.

4 weeks minimum, 6 weeks is ideal. It lets you step outside the situation long enough to make rational decisions about the woman/relationship.

Most of the time a man should reflect back on the bad parts of the relationship and why it failed and realize that there are better, more quality women out there than the ex. Too many guys focus on the great parts about the relationship soon after the breakup, which should be remembered later once you have detached yourself from it. Focus on the poor parts of it and it will help you get over it faster.

I cant think of one instance that I detached myself from an ex for more than 4 weeks and actually wanted to go back to her. I normally move on quickly and at this point in my game, I know there is a better one around the next corner.

Good post.

I also keep a DJ journal. I write some thoughts, goals, and notes about all the women I've dated and about dating and game in general. The one's that haven't worked out even if I dumped them can still generate some "feels." So, I make a list of the negative qualities about the girl and S*it she pulled. I keep reading it over and over. It really helps getting over an ex especially is she was hot and the sex is good. NOTHING will cloud your judgment more. Once logic goes out the window and emotions set in, only bad can happen, usually acting all beta because you "miss them" (or their p*ssy). Making the list is great self-therapy and really helps.

I know some here openly disagree with me but I also think getting back on the horse asap also helps. Shoot for HB7's and practice your game--like batting practice.


Good luck. Stay DJ. No wimp s*it!

 

[Glassguy]

I agree. I try to saddle up as soon as possible when exiting a relationship. I've been single for 16 months now, so I just pump and dump for the most part.

 

[bigneil]

I recently walked away from perhaps the love of my life. I turned on a dime. I left her within 3 hours of learning about someone else (I broke our last several dates).

The process was taxing but suddenly I felt this weight lifted right around day 30. Use the fact that she reached out to your advantage. Go 30-60 days of no contact. During that process you will realize about some of your mistakes, as will she, you will miss each other, and the bad memories will fade. There is always a good chance to rekindle provided you ended on good terms.

Remember: the worst she can do is make you stop giving.

 

[Trump]

So a plate who i was seeing up until late last week, I made some beta moves, which was my bad. I was going through some **** at the time regarding a family member having developed cancer etc and wasn't coping to well so i beta'd up.

Understand, but family member struggles and beta nothing to with each other.

She mentioned "friends" which stupidly lead to "the talk" but essentially i said "no friends, not now, not ever"

I would have said 'OK, friends.'

I did the corey wayne of walking away and said if she comes to her senses to contact me, otherwise, peace out. She said she understood.

Fast forward a couple of days and already she was starting to break NC, first trying to refollow me on instagram after i kicked her off it, then when i blocked that getting her friend to message me (i said tell her to grow a pair and talk to me herself if she's ready to stop playing games)

Then for the past 3 days in a row she has messaged me with breadcrumbs.

The first two days i ignored but today i just replied briefly and politely, said i was out with a friend but to have a good night.

She hit back inside 15 seconds with "what friend?"

I ignored.

Anyway, do i just continue what i'm doing?

She is my favorite plate, and i DID mess up so i'm wanting to try again, but if it's not gonna happen i'm cool with that too.

I never understand guys who tell girls to 'stop playing games'. Why don't you just say 'I'm attracted to you and want to have sex with you all the time without putting in any effort.'

It seems like you love her bro, otherwise you wouldn't ask this question. I would just continue having sex with her, but keep her as a plate.

 

[Infern0]

So i went out for a tinder first date tonight and i put on my snapstory the table and got the chicks hands in the pic.

Friendzone girl saw the pic within 5 minutes and texted "who are you out with"

Havent responded

Thoughts??

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

So i went out for a tinder first date tonight and i put on my snapstory the table and got the chicks hands in the pic.

Friendzone girl saw the pic within 5 minutes and texted "who are you out with"

Havent responded

Thoughts??

You ought to keep going. You should respond with something teasing, like "with my BEST friend" or be frank and say "a date". I'm just pointing out suggestions, but by now you've probably already decided to respond or not. If you did, what did you say?

 

[Infern0]

You ought to keep going. You should respond with something teasing, like "with my BEST friend" or be frank and say "a date". I'm just pointing out suggestions, but by now you've probably already decided to respond or not. If you did, what did you say?

Havent responded, gonna think for a while. I am growing in confidence but i dont want to balls it up