What to answer when she asks you "What are you looking for?"

[mr. kennedy]

I got that a lot either before the date or on the 1st date.

I'm looking to spin plates but of course I don't say that. What is the best answer to that question?

 

[nyc123]

well... mr kennedy. what are you looking for?

i think its best to just give an honest answer to this question.

 

[mr. kennedy]

^ Honesty doesn't get you what you want.

I should just tell her I want to be a player and spin as many plates as possible?

 

[Skyline]

HB: "So... What're you looking for?"

Me: "Well... A challenge." +smirk and maybe sip a drink at the end for that movie effect.

 

[Who Dares Win]

As a general rule when you are not sure what to answer or your instinct alert you of a sh1t test, either change the topic or agree and amplify if possible.

Example: are you one of those guys which changes girl every weekend?

1)oh no no Im a good guy I dont do such things (fail)
2)only once a weekend, do I look so bad? (agree and amplify)
3)talking about dating, the first thing I do is turn off my phone, do you? (diverting)

Example: are you taking me out only cause you want to have sex with me?

1)I would like to know you and take the time necessary to do it (fail)
2)I was gonna ask you the same thing, all the girls want to take advantage of me ( bounce it back and laugh)
3)talking about taking you out, are you more of a night creature or you wanna join me at the park for a walk sometime?

option 1 is failure, option 3 is neutral and option 2 if done right make you pass it

Regarding your question "what are you looking for" its hard to give you an answet without knowing the setting, you learn a principle than apply it according to your situation...that question from a club ho or from a 18yrs old shy girl requires different answers.

 

[Darth]

What are you looking for?"

Me: What kind of a stupid question is that?

Done.

It might not get me the girl, but in the end I go to sleep at night happy that I acted congruent with myself.

Because in the end it really is a stupid, BS question. My interest in a girl would go down immediately if I heard it, and it would be on her to bring it back up.

 

[IBreatheSpears]

When a woman sh­it tests, she is usually testing for value, but often they will test for comfort instead. With a value test, you pass the test by demonstrating higher value e.g. by agreeing and amplifying. Comfort tests usually come when you make yourself seem unattainable or like a player, or when a woman is looking for a relationship. You pass a comfort test by assuaging her concerns (without supplicating).

This particular question strikes me as a comfort test rather than a value test. If it's coming this early then you were probably overqualifying yourself (i.e. using too much game) and either coming off as a try-hard or a player, rather than the alpha that she wants to tame.

To answer your question, I would say "I'm just looking for someone I click with". This response also works if she asks if you're a player. A DHV (like "I'm currently building a harem and there's an opening for Bottom B­itch") might work at first but she'll ask again further down the line, and she might eject right away if she's insecure. Otherwise, if she's a sl­ut, she'll just put you in her "one-night stand" mental box (which is fine if that's what you want, but that's if she's a sl­ut). So you comfort her (but, again, without supplicating).

1)oh no no Im a good guy I dont do such things (fail)

That's only a fail if you say it in a supplicating way. Said with a smirk and a sarcastic tone, it would be a pass.

all the girls want to take advantage of me

(or "I'm sick of girls just using me for sex")
This is a 10/10 five-star grade A+ if you say it right after sex. It instantly marks you as a high-value alpha male looking for a relationship. Look her in the eyes when you say it and there's about a 60% chance she'll fall in love with you right then and there. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but it's a good line. Just don't ruin it by saying it with a whiny voice.

 

[om1xr]

HB:" What are you looking for?"
You: "That depends on which day and time!"

And voila you have more subjects to talk about now.

 

[MOTU]

My pants... Have you seen them?

 

[skinnyguy]

Tell her you're looking for a girl who's not a moronic attention *****

 

[mangotot]

When a woman sh­it tests, she is usually testing for value, but often they will test for comfort instead. With a value test, you pass the test by demonstrating higher value e.g. by agreeing and amplifying. Comfort tests usually come when you make yourself seem unattainable or like a player, or when a woman is looking for a relationship. You pass a comfort test by assuaging her concerns (without supplicating).

This particular question strikes me as a comfort test rather than a value test. If it's coming this early then you were probably overqualifying yourself (i.e. using too much game) and either coming off as a try-hard or a player, rather than the alpha that she wants to tame.

To answer your question, I would say "I'm just looking for someone I click with". This response also works if she asks if you're a player. A DHV (like "I'm currently building a harem and there's an opening for Bottom B­itch") might work at first but she'll ask again further down the line, and she might eject right away if she's insecure. Otherwise, if she's a sl­ut, she'll just put you in her "one-night stand" mental box (which is fine if that's what you want, but that's if she's a sl­ut). So you comfort her (but, again, without supplicating).


That's only a fail if you say it in a supplicating way. Said with a smirk and a sarcastic tone, it would be a pass.


(or "I'm sick of girls just using me for sex")
This is a 10/10 five-star grade A+ if you say it right after sex. It instantly marks you as a high-value alpha male looking for a relationship. Look her in the eyes when you say it and there's about a 60% chance she'll fall in love with you right then and there. Okay, I'm exaggerating, but it's a good line. Just don't ruin it by saying it with a whiny voice.

This is a good reply.

 

[Krueg]

Say your looking for Gold!

For the first 2-3 months you must try to conceal as much about you as possible. Only give vague answers or something ****y/funny. Women want a man, not some pvssy trying to spill his guts and tells his life story to her.. This is one way you become a "Mystery". They will be dying to see you and want to know more about you...

Good Luck!

P.S. If later in the relationship (after 3 months) you can discuss whether you want to be monogamous or not. BUT! She has to ask first!! That way you know she is truly into you!

 

[nyc123]

when i said being honest, i was thinking of something like
"I'm looking for a casual, non commitment relationship. nothing serious"

i have said this in the past and it has been accepted. at least seemingly. but the girls in question were also looking for the same thing. obviously this wouldnt fly in the face of a gal who was serious.

 

[backseatjuan]

What are you looking for?

Move in with me let's see where it goes?

 

[VladPatton]

Play that sh!t off with humor and diffuse it like an ass-smashing boss:

Her: What are you looking for?
You: Marriage!...how does next weekend sound? I already ordered the cake.

 

[Mr Wright]

I recently realised that natural guys who see tons of a girls are leading them all on. They all think they are on the cusp of a relationship with this guy and it causes so much drama so I don't think that's the way to go if you value your health.

I always say I've just got out of a break up so not looking for anything too serious but if the right person comes along, I can make an exception. Sprinkle that with a few more qualifiers and if she likes you, she will act accordingly.