what the **** is my problem?!?!?!?!?!

[monster squad]

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm at the point of just wanting to ****ing end it (but I'm not that stupid).

Long story short: Was together with this girl for a bit last summer. Never had sex, but we made out a lot, tits out, ect, but she said she ultimately just wanted to stay friends. I basically love this girl. I've known her for years, and whatever we had together, as short and uneventful as it was, meant a lot to me. We did stay friends afterwards, and she considers me one of her best friends. Anytime I try to do stupid **** like ganji games or whatever you call it, it never works. She just reels me back in any way she can.

So two months ago, I ****ed one of her friends. A couple times. That didn't work out at all, and this first girl, when she caught wind of it, lectured me. "You can do better", "I'm disappointed in you.", whatever. We stayed friends, but last week I pulled some drama crap after seeing this other girl for the first time since then, and the first one told me she wanted me to get tested. Something about this chick being around the block, blah blah blah. But she kept like hinting at things, saying she wanted to start over again with me, felt bad for "hurting me", that she really liked me.

Tonight we were all out. A bunch of us, including her and her friend that I had sex with two months ago. At one point we went out side, in the cold, and just kinda cuddled, and she kept kissing me on the cheek. I lost my nerve and didn't make a move. By the end of the night, that other chick went off with some guy, her other friend went off with one of my friends, and I drove her home. We talked a little, but just before I got to her house she said this: "You're too late by a week. My parents were on vacation last weekend, so I could have had you in to hang out, but they're home now, and my house is kinda small. You can hear everything.". That just totally ruined it. I tried a little, saying I could be quite, but she insisted that her house was a noise factory, and she was tired. I don't think I came across as needy though.

When I got her home, she just kinda sat in my car, talked a little, we hugged, and she still sat there, thanked me for driving her home, then went in. I just couldn't figure out what to to. I'm used to her always making the first move, like in the past, so I just froze.

I feel like a tool though. My clothing still smells like her, and I'm going out of my mind thinking about what I could have done different. I really do value her as a friend (I would hate to lose her), but I can't help but want more. I've tried being with other girls, and they just don't ****ing do it for me. She's the only one I feel any connection with at all, and I feel like tonight was my last shot, but I blew it. I can't help but feel that I'm now totally stuck being just friends, and next time I see her she'll hook up with someone more aggressive than me.

Someone please offer me some words of encouragement. What the hell can I do to turn this thing around?

 

[Eccentric]

You developed one-itis and she's playing you like a fool. We've all been there at one point. Let her go. As hard as it may be, let her go. This is your first step towards building back your confidence that you don't need her.

Once you cut off contact and play the field, you'll soon forget. Happened to me like that. It took me sometime, but damnit I did it and never looked back.

 

[snobby]

I agree...move forward. When I was a teen there was this girl that I also liked...but not only "liked" that is too weak...I actually fell in love with her and thought SHE was the one. Most teens will move onward to the next girl they can find, after a while when they see that the other girl wasn't responding to them. Believe it or not, I liked this one girl for over 10 years, and never stopped feeling something towards her. But guess what? This girl always used to treat me as a very good friend, but not as her mate.

So what did I decide to do? I decide to swallow what I felt for her, seeing that she did not and probably would never feel something towards me apart from a good friend. So I did not want to lose her. Even though I wanted something more from her than friendchip, I still enjoyed her company, liked being with her. We are friends until today.

The down side when going rapport with a woman that used to be your friend, is that if you will eventually break up with her, then that friend chip you two used to have will be gone. In some cases that might not happen, but in many cases it will. And there you lose BOTH your lover AND a good friebd... So my advice is, do what I am doing, and move along. There are many other gilrs outside...don't risk your chances with this one.

 

[Magnatolia]

I think you should ask her to do something with you - for starters when she mentioned that her parents were home you could have offered her your house - make out you're joking though in case you read the signals wrong. Then you have an escape route.

In reference to the previous posts about one-itis you definitely need to take a step back and ask yourself why you feel that she's the 'one'. Perhaps its a feeling of security? The fact that you've known her for a while so you already have all the ammunition to have interesting conversations with her.

Anyway, make a move but remember that she's not the only girl out there.

Cheers
J

 

[Damian]

If there's anything that I can tell to somebody that has a one-itis, is to have their own life. Live your own life, have your own career, have your own friends. Know that you are two different people and must lead two different lives. Get your own life back on track before you start going after anything else. Not surprisingly, this tactic is a double-whammy. First, you will have your own life in good condition to begin with. Second, a man who has his own life and his own aspirations has everything he needs already, and that just makes him more attractive. Get your own life together man, then you won't need to obsess over any one girl. Remember, if anybody, that YOU are the most important person in your life. Just remember to take care of yourself first.

-Damian