What the hell? Stunned

[someonenew]

I'm in a bit of a state of shock at the moment.. Not really sure what to do, I guess I am here to get people's opinions and see what others think, I really don't know how to respond at the moment.

I am in a LTR, just over 2 years, it was recently my birthday and my gf was over the night before. When I wake up, she is not in bed, it is unusual for her to get up before me. I head out and my house mates are wishing me happy birthday and such, nothing from my gf. She is sitting outside smoking, which I hate. We go out to lunch, she is talking to me treating everything fine, still no present still no happy birthday even. We get back to my place, she goes straight back outside with her computer and messes around on the net. A few times I went out to try to talk to her, see if she wanted to spend a bit of time with me, very little response. Finally at midnight (who the **** spends 9 hours on facebook apps?) I go screw this and head to bed. I can't say I would even treat someone I hate like that, let alone someone I 'love'. Feeling a bit empty at the moment. I have no idea what to do, I think it was a very sh!tty thing to do.

 

[dj_china]

sounds like she is doing this on purpose... and may have lost interest
you should confront her about this asap and deal with it appropriately

 

[thecurtainfalls]

One thing I noticed having just gotten out of a 3 year LTR is how insidious a girlfriend can be at ratcheting up the b!tchy behavior little by little, in tiny increments, throughout the course of the relationship. Then eventually you see absurd, disrespectful sh!t like this happening.

I don't know your entire situation, so obviously take any advice from a stranger with a grain of salt -- but having been in a relationship with a selfish, immature girl like that, I can assure you that the passive-aggressive mind games and BS will only escalate if you don't put your foot down. Personally I would take this as an enormous red flag. Why would you want to waste your time with someone who acts like this? Move on, man. My 2 cents.

 

[brokenupinside]

I agree with thecurtainfalls,this is a huge RED FLAG.
Two things come to mind and I'm talking by experience,either she's provoking you so you react and she can say it was you who started the shyte so she can start exiting the relationship (women need excuses so THEY can mimimize guilt) or she is chatting up a new guy on facebook.

Sure it can be that you forgot an "anniversary" (some women have anniversaries for every insignificant detail of the relationship)or she's getting back at you for something reallly silly,maybe it's a weird shyte test but I would go for 1 and 2.

My 2 cents,don't fight or argue,confront her calmly and don't ask....TELL her you know she is up to something ,ifyou don't get a satisfactory answer that MAKES SENSE TO YOU,tell her to pack her things.Whatever you do don't show you are either hurt of have doubts.If all else is lost you'll still have your pride intact.
Good luck.:trouble:

 

[Nutz]

I would have just confronted her. Out of the blue just say to her "Okay, you're in trouble for forgetting my birthday." Don't be an a$$hole about it though. Just tell her with an air of playfulness. If she starts to stammer and backpedal cut her off and lead the convo with, "No worries, you're taking me out to dinner at xyz to make up for it. Grab your purse." and head to the car.

If you get angry it'll just show her how much she affected you by how reactive you got. That's exactly what she wants if she did it on purpose.

To be blunt about it, something along those lines will serve you much better than pining over it and griping about what happened to a bunch of guys on the internet.

 

[zekko]

Clearly she's upset with you about something. Any idea what that might be? Most likely something pretty big for her to blow off your birthday, which is a pretty serious affront. I would almost say this is a dealbreaker, but you know the situation better than I do.

 

[horaholic]

Personally, I would get right in her face and ask her what the fvcks up with her behaviour.

fvck being playful about it, you're pissed and you have every right to be. You're well within your right to blow a fuse and kick her out of your house. Your a man, act like one. Usually when you blow up on them (only ofr a really good reason though), they get very apologetic REAL quick, and kiss you ass for a while.

 

[Stéphane]

I would dump her do you want too marry a girl who going too get worse as time moves on

 

[Cherokee]

I recently had a similar situation, girls normally get cold when they see the end in sight. I reckon you ditch her before it gets worse.

On the other hand there might be something up, but the only way to solve the **** is to get it out of the closet (calmly, BUT stay in control) dont bury the **** under the carpet.

best of luck my friend.

 

[V2Logger]

If you have a gut feeling something's up, prepare for the worst. You will have to put this on the table. If it is nothing, then it's better to ask either way. If she gets confrontational, something's up. What ever the case, do not loose your cool. I would suggest to remember things that are said, write them down. It might be the topic of a conversation again and then you might realize later the story changes. Anyone who spends that much time on facebook or Myspace does not have a life or might be uninterested. You had a b-day, the least she could have done is spend the day with you and make things different just for that day. Watch the eyes and also any unusual movements during the conversation. If she is totally irritable, it's for a reason.

 

[eaglez1177]

I would have just confronted her. Out of the blue just say to her "Okay, you're in trouble for forgetting my birthday." Don't be an a$$hole about it though. Just tell her with an air of playfulness. If she starts to stammer and backpedal cut her off and lead the convo with, "No worries, you're taking me out to dinner at xyz to make up for it. Grab your purse." and head to the car.

If you get angry it'll just show her how much she affected you by how reactive you got. That's exactly what she wants if she did it on purpose.

To be blunt about it, something along those lines will serve you much better than pining over it and griping about what happened to a bunch of guys on the internet.

I would follow this advice.

Warning: be prepared that she cud be setting you up for something bad