"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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what the HELL is wrong with me??? I am SO GOOD, yet I am SO BAD at the same time!!!

KillaCam

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skip2mylou781 said:
actually, i posted this thread cuz i wanted a solution to my problem of for some reason always being paranoid despite having success....and a couple people pointed it out pretty well actually

meanwhile someone like you continues to contribute NOTHING to the discussion.........how many troll posts where u are being completely and totally useless have u had anyway????

everything u post is "u lie, u fake, u kjb, im a virgin so i hate u for bragging"
You won't learn if you don't listen.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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izza

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Did you know that Elton John is so nervous before every set that he is literally shaking? About 50% of the time, he is so nervous before he plays that he throws up backstage. Even now.

Ok, he's not my favorite musician ever, but the guy has had a long, rock-solid career, critical success, he's made millions. He rarely makes mistakes in his sets. And yet, there he is, backstage, nervous, puking his 500$ lunch.

The guy has no logical reason to be nervous. Ok, maybe the first few times he had good reason to be nervous as hell: being a musician is really hard! But success after success, law of probability and reason suggest that he should not be nervous anymore.

That is, if emotions were rational.

They're not.

Even the best of the best still get nervous. Even when a woman likes you, you still get afraid that she doesn't.

The only solution is to laugh. That's the only solution. If you think about it, the situation is pretty funny, so it shouldn't be hard. If you get half as much sex as you say, being nervous is totally irrational. It's just plain absurd. It's assigning importance to something that has no inherent importance, and to a girl that has even less importance considering all the others you have lined up.

What I usually do in this situation is imagine an absurd situation where I feel the same thing. That makes me laugh. In this case, I would imagine a girl throwing flowers at me, emailing me all the time, and me asking myself "does she like me? I'm not sure if she likes me." That gets a smile.

Finally, in my life I have found that nervousness is a great sign. It signifies that a big success is about to come my way. I'm only not nervous when I'm about to fail. I make myself nervous on purpose sometimes, if you see what I mean!

Well, as you well know, I'm a chump and a kbj. But maybe I can still say something of worth. Maybe not. It's up to you now.

Best of luck,

Izza
 

skip2mylou781

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Izza - best advice about this i ever read.

your right, I will laugh off any irrational nervousness in the future, at least i will try to!
 
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