What the hell does this mean?

[Alle_Gory]

Anyways, been in contact with this girl for a bit... a while actually. Always seemed VERY friendly. Sometimes concerned abot my safety... yadda yadda. Figured she was interested, so I asked her out.

She says, she "wasn't expecting this" from me and "ummmm, I don't think its a good idea." "now though". So I figure that's a no, and begin the closing ceremonies. I tell her stuff like "ok, but you better not start acting weird next time I see you, i hope this isn't a big deal for you".... and etc. trying to play it off and SOMEHOW, I'm still in contact with her and talking to her like nothing happened.

Its still bugging me, I want a straight answer though. So I sent her the following on Facebook. Oh yeah, I asked her about her religion, just trying to gauge how Catholic she is.

Me: When you said this is not a good time for a date... are you interested in me at all? A simple answer please. I'm a big boy, I can take it.

ps. my phone broke. facebook for now.

Her: Hahahaha how did you break it. and i stil need an explanation for the catholic thing, and maybe i am interested a tiny bit but now wont work

What the hell does that mean?

 

[DaveHart]

How long have you known her and how far have you gone with her? (not emotionally, physically)

There is a window of opportunity... this looks like the classic waiting to long issue. You wait to long so out of self preservation she convinces herself that you 2 wouldn't work together anyway. Women often do this when guys who they are interested in don't make a move... it's a defense mechanism to help them handle the question of "Why doesn't he make a move on me?"... she can see it one of two ways... either he doesn't like me (I'm being rejected) or we are better as friends (mutual)... one of those two feels a lot better and like affirmations... if you tell yourself something enough you believe it.

 

[Alle_Gory]

I hope not. This is probably part of a discussion we had couple days ago, after she rejected me, where I was trying to do the old reverse psychology to get her to tell me more. I know lots of things about her, but not about her intentions. So I tell her something like, "now you know what I want, but I still don't know what you want" and "i just don't think this is going to work out you know?" and etc. etc.

She's probably just being a wiseass. That would be in character.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Anyways, all I'm trying to figure out is whether or not this is a green light.

 

[jophil28]

It is a tentative AMBER light at best.

Dave Hart said it well.

IF you wait too long, a woman will probably CONCLUDE that you are not interested in her "in that way", OR you have someone else in your crosshairs.
BY NOT demonstrating your interest in her when you felt it,(and she felt it) you essentially rejected her, and bruised her ego - woman assume that an interested guy will just press down on the gas pedal. They have been conditioned to believe that they are irresistibly desireable to men because they are the owner of a vag!na, and therefore any man who does not pursue them is gay, wussy, emotionally deranged or hopelessly committed to another woman.
So, to prevent any further ego damage they define you as "friend only" , and from that moment on you are in the same state as a regular LJBF.

Timing matters a great deal, gentlemen - learn when to land the plane.

Your reward for a late approach is probably a crash and burn.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Oh for ****s sake.

Whatever, amber's good. If I crash and burn, doesn't matter. Worst case I get some experience.

 

[Alle_Gory]

This is what I sent her:

Oh really, tell you what... why don't we do something next week and you can explain to me why it won't work out.

 

[The Greek]

"Me: When you said this is not a good time for a date... are you interested in me at all? A simple answer please. I'm a big boy, I can take it."

Isn't this a bit too pleading? I like the last message you sent her though. Much better.

 

[The Greek]

Also, I'll tell you what it means. I've been here before. "Now won't work" means she has someone else in mind and you're a silver medal. Act like you're gold. she gotta run fast to earn you

 

[jophil28]

This is what I sent her:

Oh really, tell you what... why don't we do something next week and you can explain to me why it won't work out.

Alle, on first reading, this text reply sounds almost OK, but ultimately you are playing catchup with a woman who does not want to hang out with you .
I understand that you want either an explanation, or another shot at her, however, she will not give you a credible explanation because she does not understand her motivations. You are likely to hear some manufactured BS which she hopes will shut you up.
However, I think that she will not agree to meet up with you because she knows that you are going to interrogate her and she is not going to submit to a Q&A when there is no benefit to her in doing so.

I would expect a No Answer to your text or she will fob you off .

 

[Alle_Gory]

"Now though" seems to be a recurring phrase. Maybe you're right about another guy.

 

[Tiguere]

Yup someone else is in her mind. You are a backup plan for now.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Ok. So she probably won't want to hang out. I'll send her something like:

" Too bad. Well, what am I gonna do with all this inventory? I've got this great guy for sale. Talk dark & handsome. Surprisingly great to get along with, and exceptionally balanced.

I've also got some other, regular models for sale. They're not so good on wear and tear, but they're 50% off.

A girl like you? You want something REALLY nice. "

 

[jophil28]

Ok. So she probably won't want to hang out. I'll send her something like:

" Too bad. Well, what am I gonna do with all this inventory? I've got this great guy for sale. Talk dark & handsome. Surprisingly charming, yet has a good head on his shoulders.

I've also got some other, regular models for sale. They're not so good on wear and tear, but they're 50% off.

A girl like you? You want something REALLY nice. "

Dont send anything like that to her. Wait until she contacts/texts you, and then call her the next day if you really MUST.

 

[Violent V]

Dont send anything like that to her. Wait until she contacts/texts you, and then call her the next day if you really MUST.

Agreed. I'd back off completely dude- move on in-fact unless she suddenly starts contacting you.

 

[Alle_Gory]

danger, i dont know man. she's still talking to me, wants to know things about me... asks me personal questions as well.

i just dont get her. so far, these rules and **** haven't been too successful with this one girl... so im not using them anymore. worst case i lose her... big deal.

im going by my instinct. something tells me she likes me. and i have shown some interest and attention recently... but i feel that its enough for now until she makes a move one way or the other. im cutting back my attention to her because i think its more than enough. im spoiling her here. im giving her all this fun and attention out of my time... and what do i get? definitely not what i want.

if she doesn't make a move, then im going after another girl. ive already asked her out twice, its on her to make it happen now. im not interested in being friends with this girl although she would make an awesome female friend... not gonna happen.

i should probably find that new girl now, and a backup for the new girl too... just in case.