What the hell did i do wrong?

[snowdog]

I'm getting tired of this shit. Here is the story. Gimme a solution because i'm getting desperate.

I am a 20 year old college dude. I work out and i'm blessed with my genetics. Bright blue eyes, and really good looking it seems; i even have random girls telling me how hot i am regulary. Yet i can't seem to get **** done.

For example tonight.

It was in some small town. Some ****ing tent with lots of locals. Me and my friends almost got beat up because we where from the 'wrong' town. Yea... it was that level, really low. We had fun none the less, i'm not of those guys who looks down on anyone..., unless they are semi-retarted. There where lots of hot chicks walking around though. One (really, really nice looking) girl came up to me and told me she sat in the same bus with me a couple of days ago... I didn't remember but i knew she didn't lie because she told me i was carrying a guitar case, which was true. Anyway, we talked a bit... not really good convo's because the music was loud, but we had a click. She had these neon light tubes with her and she put one around my neck and put one in my shirt... she was touching me more then 'needed', ya know. When i tried to dance with her it just seemed akward to me and i noticed her friends made fun of me and she was like 'ok whatever, this dude sucks' after a while.

It's always the same shit. I'm a nice and outgoing person, and people love me for my personality alone. I have absolutely no problem talking to (hot) girls, women and... well, anyone really. But when i'm in an area where music plays i just become insecure and i don't really know what to do. I love the old disco music and the rock & roll stuff... really, i can go crazy on that ****. But the new stuff just feels akward to me. I just can't get into the vibe of it. Which results in me trying to dance to it, and suck at it; and ending up being the only one together with a bunch of shit faces who didn't score a chick at the end of the evening. And really, tonight proved it again to me. I suck at it. I was easily one of the best looking/dressed guys there, plus one of the few who had the brains to do college. It's frustrating as hell.

People tell me i'm a player in the way i talk and socialize with women in a normal enviroment. I have no trouble getting numbers from girls who are waiting for the same bus as i am. But i'm totally impaired in the club/dance department.

HELP ME. I'M GOING CRAZY.

 

[snowdog]

bumpo

 

[young_gun]

Dude, this is really weird for me to read this because I feel like you're describing me in this situation. I think of myself as a pretty good looking guy, I can dance alright, and I can have really good conversations with just about anyone (whether it be a hot girl I've never met or my boss at work) OUTSIDE of a club environment.

I think the reason (at least this is the way it is for me) that you have troubles in a club scene is that you don't want to get rejected and look stupid in front of other people. Does that sound familiar? I mean, if you meet a girl at a grocery store or in one of your classes it's a little easier to get a good vibe going, because you don't really feel like you have other people around analyzing you. But when you add a bunch of other people into the picture, it feels like everyone's eyes are on you and sometimes it almost feels like it would be better just to not talk to the girls so that people don't see you as a chump or somethin.

I don't know, does this sound familiar to you? It's not really hard to beat. Just remember that the only person who's really critical of you is yourself. Everybody thinks to themselves (WOMEN TOO!) when they get out in public, "Do I look OK, I hope I won't look stupid if I do this" etc. Nobody is really analyzing you because they're so concerned about themselves. Nobody really cares if you get turned down, they might joke about it with their friends but the only reason they do that is because they don't have the balls to talk to people they don't know. I have a lot of friends who are really good with girls and I have friends who have never (NEVER ONCE) approached a girl they didn't know. And those are the guys who make fun of other guys when they get "turned down" by girls. While they're sitting around with their hands on their d1cks, guys like me are out talking to all the girls they sit around and gawk at.

By the way, I was in line at the school cafeteria a few days and I heard this one guy talk to this girl he didn't know. This girl was in line ahead of me, and I was actually going to talk to her myself but he chimed in first so I figured I would listen in on him to see if he actually had any game. This dude's game was HORRIBLE. He asked the girl if he could sit with her and she just flat out said no. (LOL) I kind of laughed about it, but I really had a lot of respect the guy for trying. I don't see that kind of thing a whole lot.

 

[Obsidian]

Umm, don't go to clubs? It sounds like your problem is that you look like a fool when dancing to techno music. We can't teach you to dance over an internet forum; just keep practicing and mimic what other people do.

Btw, any girl who approaches you is likely a hor, and will therefore be extra flakey.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I'm getting tired of this shit. Here is the story. Gimme a solution because i'm getting desperate.

I am a 20 year old college dude. I work out and i'm blessed with my genetics. Bright blue eyes, and really good looking it seems; i even have random girls telling me how hot i am regulary. Yet i can't seem to get **** done.

For example tonight.

It was in some small town. Some ****ing tent with lots of locals. Me and my friends almost got beat up because we where from the 'wrong' town. Yea... it was that level, really low. We had fun none the less, i'm not of those guys who looks down on anyone..., unless they are semi-retarted. There where lots of hot chicks walking around though. One (really, really nice looking) girl came up to me and told me she sat in the same bus with me a couple of days ago... I didn't remember but i knew she didn't lie because she told me i was carrying a guitar case, which was true. Anyway, we talked a bit... not really good convo's because the music was loud, but we had a click. She had these neon light tubes with her and she put one around my neck and put one in my shirt... she was touching me more then 'needed', ya know. When i tried to dance with her it just seemed akward to me and i noticed her friends made fun of me and she was like 'ok whatever, this dude sucks' after a while.

Girl with neon light tubes, in a club, and touching you more then needed. Sounds like she was thizzin!! Which, means rolling on ecstacy. Ecstacy is a "feel good" drug and everything you touch feels really good. Could also explain the light tubes that she had. It is suppose to be cool or trippy when on it. Maybe i'm wrong but, sounds like it to me.

It's always the same shit. I'm a nice and outgoing person, and people love me for my personality alone. I have absolutely no problem talking to (hot) girls, women and... well, anyone really. But when i'm in an area where music plays i just become insecure and i don't really know what to do. I love the old disco music and the rock & roll stuff... really, i can go crazy on that ****. But the new stuff just feels akward to me. I just can't get into the vibe of it. Which results in me trying to dance to it, and suck at it; and ending up being the only one together with a bunch of shit faces who didn't score a chick at the end of the evening. And really, tonight proved it again to me. I suck at it. I was easily one of the best looking/dressed guys there, plus one of the few who had the brains to do college. It's frustrating as hell.

People tell me i'm a player in the way i talk and socialize with women in a normal enviroment. I have no trouble getting numbers from girls who are waiting for the same bus as i am. But i'm totally impaired in the club/dance department.

Either stop going to dance clubs and go to a bar instead or somewhere else. Or learn to adapt to the club scene.

HELP ME. I'M GOING CRAZY.

XXX

 

[snowdog]

Haha, na i'm sure she wasn't on drugs. She was clearly into me; probably because a lot of people like me right away... i smile a lot and people like to be around me. But i blew it because i was acting like an insecure chump.

Dude, this is really weird for me to read this because I feel like you're describing me in this situation. I think of myself as a pretty good looking guy, I can dance alright, and I can have really good conversations with just about anyone (whether it be a hot girl I've never met or my boss at work) OUTSIDE of a club environment.

I think the reason (at least this is the way it is for me) that you have troubles in a club scene is that you don't want to get rejected and look stupid in front of other people. Does that sound familiar? I mean, if you meet a girl at a grocery store or in one of your classes it's a little easier to get a good vibe going, because you don't really feel like you have other people around analyzing you. But when you add a bunch of other people into the picture, it feels like everyone's eyes are on you and sometimes it almost feels like it would be better just to not talk to the girls so that people don't see you as a chump or somethin.

I don't know, does this sound familiar to you? It's not really hard to beat. Just remember that the only person who's really critical of you is yourself. Everybody thinks to themselves (WOMEN TOO!) when they get out in public, "Do I look OK, I hope I won't look stupid if I do this" etc. Nobody is really analyzing you because they're so concerned about themselves. Nobody really cares if you get turned down, they might joke about it with their friends but the only reason they do that is because they don't have the balls to talk to people they don't know. I have a lot of friends who are really good with girls and I have friends who have never (NEVER ONCE) approached a girl they didn't know. And those are the guys who make fun of other guys when they get "turned down" by girls. While they're sitting around with their hands on their d1cks, guys like me are out talking to all the girls they sit around and gawk at.

Yea... i think you hit the nail right on the head there...

I have a very clear personality, i know really good what i like and dislike. I hate club music with a passion. Just everythink about it pisses me off. When i hear it on the radio it actually enrages me. I can't help it, i tried to like it so many times without succes. So it ruins a big part of my party mood, and i think that is my biggest problem.

So, i get drunk so i enjoy myself anyway. Being drunk usually makes my game much better, because it removes the little fear i still have in me completely. But it also amplifies me being insecure in a club enviroment i noticed lately. When i'm at that point, i'm like '**** it, lets get sh it faced), and i do. I still have a great night then and the biggest fun with my friends, that usually ends up in trouble, lol. I have got to find a middle road in there, not sober so i get pissed, and not totally hammered so i don't know what to do.

 

[young_gun]

I'd probably just focus on getting chicks in environments you're more comfortable in. I'm not really into "party girls" anyway.

 

[snowdog]

Good thing about party girls is kissing/head without much talking. Plus the things that i can't get done make me want to get it done even more.

 

[young_gun]

Haha, yeah that's for sure. I haven't really had much success at parties, but when I can get it together it's GREAT.

 

[Mad Manic]

Flirt a bit then try to isolate. You don't have to plod away on the dancefloor for ages if you really don't want too. You don't need to be a good dancer in order to get women in clubs, thought it helps. If you're on the dancefloor and you aren't comfortable, just flirt with her for a little, then dominantly try to isolate. If it doesn't workout, no worries, you took action, bravo.

MM

 

[Last Man Standing]

Does no one else see the irony? We have a guitar player dude that can't pick-up chicks in a musical environment!

 

[Sandow]

clubs are hard. generally speaking, they're only good for one night stands. the girls that go to clubs regularly are usually pretty shallow and love the attention. so don't take it personally, it's hard to game a girl there.

listen, i see the best PUA's get rejected at clubs all the time. you have to get rejected a few times before you can succeed, that's just how the game works. the person who gets rejected the most will land the girl by the end of the night. so don't take it personally, be a jerk, and pound hole.

 

[aussiegoat55]

I played drums for a while, 4 years, on and off, and that helped me understand time and rhythm (upbeats and downbeats, 1-2-3-4), so my suggestion is take up an instrument or study music. Mix rhythm/timing with confidence and you'll start to become a good dancer. You really got to embrace the feeling of the music. But sometimes there's a song that just sucks, so I don't dance to it.

Same here too, I'm not a fan of new stuff (i.e. most rap and hip hop), but if it's a song I really like, or that's really energetic, dancing is fun.

 

[snowdog]

Thanks for the tips guys.

Does no one else see the irony? We have a guitar player dude that can't pick-up chicks in a musical environment!

I don't really consider the noises they put trough the speakers in clubs 'music'. Just electronic beats... reminds me of the old Super Nintendo videogame music, only it takes itself seriously in this case.