"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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what the hell did I do wrong here?

wysiwyg6000

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I have myself on Match.com and this really cute chick contacts me out of no where and starts IMing me. Things go well, I play it cool and don't go on 2 1/2 hour chatting sessions, I keep it to about 30 minutes to keep her wanting more. We talk a few more times, I get her number the other night, everything seems cool. Then out of nowhere, this girl takes me off her buddy list for no reason whatsoever (she has buddylist only enabled). So for ****s, I call last night, just because I have nothing to lose, and leave a VM (to no surprise, she hasn't responded yet and probably won't). Can anyone think of WHY the hell this happened? Did I do anything wrong? Our online convos were always fluid and I made sure to keep things funny and interesting. They were also spaced out every 2 days or so. I'm really starting to hate this online dating stuff because this type of crazy **** never happened to me in real life.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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JonJack

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Originally posted by wysiwyg6000
Then out of nowhere, this girl takes me off her buddy list for no reason whatsoever (she has buddylist only enabled).
She does have a reason for de-listing you. It's just that you'll never know what it actually is. I understand that you're curious to know the reasons why. Let's just consider some things here first about wanting to know the reasons.

Firstly, your skills with communicating with a girl could either be smooth, average or creepy. You probably believe it to be smooth or even slightly above average. Now this happens and you're wondering whether you did something wrong? C'mon man, don't you even have a slight idea of what it is?

If you can't put your finger on anything, then there's nothing wrong with you because there's so much wrong with the girl. What kind of girl just 'suddenly' ignores someone who didn't creep her out or insult her or acted retarded? If you ask me, she's the one with the social problems that she needs to deal with.

So hears the deal. Take a look at your situation real carefully. Now who's problem is it that the communication just suddenly died?
 

backbreaker

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I took me no more than once sentance to see what you did wrong...


have myself on Match.com
Bam. That's your problem right there.

Get out there and meet REAL people
 

Dr Box

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Originally posted by backbreaker
I took me no more than once sentance to see what you did wrong...




Bam. That's your problem right there.

Get out there and meet REAL people
Spoken like someone who has no idea, why is it all the best PUA also use the internet to meet women? because it works, REAL people??? what the people on the net are Robots are they? If a guy is just learning to talk to women then that is the best place to start, dont discourage people for using it, engourage them for trying to better themselves in any way you can.
 

Aaron B

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Doesn't look to me like you did anything wrong.

You didn't experience your desired outcome, so now your logical mind is looking for the reason why. It could be any number of things. Maybe her ex-boyfriend showed up at her door and they got engaged, who knows?

No matter what you do, some chicks are going to flake on you. Quit taking it personally.

If and when I do online dating I will be pushing for a face-to-face meeting as soon as possible. IMO, chatting on the net is pointless, but of course some have success so take that with a grain of salt. My strengths aren't my words, but how I say them (body language, sexy voice tone, eye contact), so I want to spend as little time as possible talking to them on the net.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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insomniac

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This is the norm for match. Things seem to be progressing fine, and then she flakes. There's really no point in wondering what happened. Most likely she decided to pay more attention to one of the many other guys she's been chatting with in addition to you.

Best way to play match is to be spinning several plates at once. Get four or more conversations going. When one flakes, the most you'll think about it is "oh well", and then add another to the rotation.
 

DinoCassanova

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More than likely it's not you , it's something that's come up on her end. She probably/possibly met somebody else on that site, or even offline, and was talking to him at the same time. You know? And then she decided she felt more in common with or more attracted to, or what-have-you, this other guy and that's why she cut you off. Otherwise she has personal issues, like fear of getting involved in a successful potentially LTR ( I can relate to her in that because I do the same thing; I've left quite a few girls , from Match and elsewhere, "stranded" like that; it was nothing they did, it was / is my own fear of committment or settling down). In any case just forget her. Make NO more attempts to contact, IMO. And don't bother trying to "mind-read" why she ditched you, and/or replay everything over and over in your head, it will just get you down and you won't figure it out anyway. You aren't a psychic are you?? Go reply to some other profile, or better yet go cold approach in the real world somebody you see today. The sooner the better. ~Dino
 

sapphire

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I agree. When girls flake it is usually because they have other options, like other guys they are seeing/talking at the same time.

This is especially true in the onine dating world. Even not so attractive girls get bombarded by e-mails. You can imagine how many soliciations an attractive one gets.

It is truly a numbers game. You just have to keep plugging away until you get a live one.
 

backbreaker

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this isn't a PUA forum, there are plently of them if that's what you are going for.

You are not looking to pick up women.. you are looking to become a DJ, which will better you in all forums of life, including your success with women.

I think you are confused on what you actually want. You hav eto know what you want before you can get it
 

dirtysouth

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Maybe she's broke and her subscription ran out? Maybe she's a 12 year old boy.

Who cares. If you are trying to figure out if you've done something wrong, more than likely, you haven't. It's her.

If a girl flakes out on me, I assume she's deaf, dumb or has cataracts.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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