What the hell am I doing wrong?

[bearfan34201]

till dont know what Im doing wrong. Tonight I went to a party, and it happened to be in my town. So I didnt expect greatness. But we got there, and I tried talking to some girls. Shook their hand and said Hi blah lbah blah. Where u from. Blah blah blah.


Im still ****ing up bad. I want to be soo good with the girls but I dont kno what Im doing wrong. I'm thinking when Im talking to girls. "Insert a C/F comment. Show some difference between the other guys here who are hooking up. SHOW YOUR DIFFERENT". That bull**** has killed me. I see the douchebags that are getting w/these girls and I just wonder. How the **** did they do this?

Me and that hollister girl completely stopped talking. I called her tongiht and told her to come out to the party I was at, cause some ppl wanted her to go. And shes like "IM NOT GOING". Someone asked who she was talking to and she goes "fuking bearfan". WTF? What did I do to all of a sudden warrant her attitude. We hooked up and all of a sudden we stop talking? she was being a complete *****. What made her change? WTF am I doing wrong.

I cant get **** from my own town. I think I'm trying to hard or something. I see my buddy ease into **** and I wonder why arent i doing it. i know im a damn goode lookin guy. I cant seal the deal for ****. It's pissin me off. I don't know wat Im doing wrong. But hey, Atleast I made out with a drunk girl. I got a few other girls Im talking to that want to hang outl. But as of right now Im just ticked and upset Im doing ****ty
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[PRMoon]

sounds like you're trying too hard. If you find you're struggling to get with girls you need to back up and focus on yourself. Sounds strange I know but until you're completely comfortable with who you are you'll never make it to where you want to be. When I was younger I didn't have a clue about what I should be doing when trying to socialize with others. It wasn't that I wasn't attractive or anything, it was because I wasn't doing things because I wanted to do them. Get yourself in the mind set of I'm going out because I'm going to have a good time for myself. When you start talking to people with the thought of I'm going to entertain myself, things will start falling into place.

 

[Raikojo17]

I cant get **** from my own town. I think I'm trying to hard or something. I see my buddy ease into **** and I wonder why arent i doing it. Edit/Delete Message

yes bro, u seem to be trying alittle bit to hard. u r always trying to hard when u sit there and have to think of what to do. this is where new guys get hung up. dont sit and think, just do. this stuff will come naturally after u have experience.

u dont seem to be having fun. remember, this is just a game, so have fun. this is not a challenge or a chore, so dont treat it as such. the more u enjoy urself, the more u'll realize oh little those girls rejections matter, because u had fun anyway.

also, there are a billion girls out there from where ur hookup came from, so if she's gonna be a *****, than go out and find some one different. she's obviously not worth it. dont take disrespect like that from anyone.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Women that use such language are hors -- say "No" to hos!!!

 

[bearfan34201]

I dont know how to NOT try hard. I mean what am i suppose to do. Not care?


I just get so frustrated not getting the girls I believe I should get withl. I'm a 9.5 on hotornot and I cant pull 8s lately. Its flipping ridiculous

 

[Raikojo17]

I dont know how to NOT try hard. I mean what am i suppose to do. Not care?


I just get so frustrated not getting the girls I believe I should get withl. I'm a 9.5 on hotornot and I cant pull 8s lately. Its flipping ridiculous

and that is the trying to hard part my friend. ur takin this way to seriously and letting it get to u. u should never get frustrated about this stuff. have fun with it, amuse urself.

trying to hard to is wat ur doing by getting mad, wondering why, and trying to think of the perfect thing to say to the chick.

we're not saying dont care, just dont take stuff to personally and seriously. well maybe, yes, u shouldnt care. u shouldnt care if that hb rejects u or says no, because there r tons more where she came from. she's just a rock in ur path to find a better girl.

also, u should be amusing urself with every HB u walk up to and chat up. dont think about the outcome, because i'd say 9 times out of ten ( in a regular situation) u will get a positive one. just have fun, then u will not be trying to hard.

 

[ryannath]

Is it just me or does this Last Man Standing guy always say some of the most non helpful things in posts? Most of his posts are something about "say no to hors!!!!!" or something like that. But, to the poster of this thread, yes, I think you are trying too hard. Don't try to think of ****y things to say. Just talk to ppl like you are having a good time and not thinking of something to say next.

 

[PRMoon]

I dont know how to NOT try hard. I mean what am i suppose to do. Not care?


I just get so frustrated not getting the girls I believe I should get withl. I'm a 9.5 on hotornot and I cant pull 8s lately. Its flipping ridiculous

For the love of god, F*CK HOT OR NOT! If you don't believe in yourself, then nobody else will. You have to put your attention INWARD! Realize your actions and focus on doing things for yourself! Why do you care about some girl who won't go out with you when you ask? If you're doing things with the intent on having a good time for yourself, then you wouldn't care if some girl went with you or not! And I'm not just saying for a party or one time event, I'm reffering to your general life. If you're content with what makes you happy, the girls will flock to you. You won't be as focused on what you're doing wrong and girls will be more interested in you because you won't seem like some dude who's trying to hard to impress them.

 

[Macca]

Hi Bearfan,

What she said on the phone was quite out of order, and for that I'd keep well away from her as her attitude is only going to drag you down!!

It all does look doom and gloom but in your last paragraph you state that some girls want to hook up with you. If that is the case then you must be doing something right? Just because your initial choices gave you the cold shoulder doesn't mean you're a complete failure in this game!!!

Good luck and keep at it!! Practice makes perfect!

 

[Chris Lee]

Stop asking what you're doing wrong and start asking what you can do to succeed.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Your problem, not your symptom, is that you are looking for validation.
You're looking for validation from girls, from your pals but most importantly you're searching for validation from yourself. This should never ever be the case.

Do this: Close your eyes and take a couple of deep solar plexus breaths. Now once you've become relaxed and can take hold of yourself think about what it is to these people that you owe. Your sanity? dignity? respect? Absolutely you do. But first to yourself. Take the pressure off being the coolest guy in the room with the coolest things to say and kick back and relax. Then and only then will you become that which you seek.

 

[Articles]

Keep it real

First off the try hard comments are true but there are other things you can work on. First off how long have you lived in your town? If everybody knows you already your reputation might be set in stone (sorta) so to fix that you have to work your way back in. Picking up chicks in other towns who are friends with people in your town will help. Also in your opening lines I don't like just saying "hi" I liked to go with a statement or sometimes a question- " Hey what do you think of my belt (hat, shirt, shoes)?.... "How do you know the guy throwing this party".......then go onto a story. Dont ask for their names, where they are from, til later. For the best results wait til they ask you your name or something of the like then you will know they are attracted. Then get a pattern, a trick, a niche. If it all goes through she will wanna talk and then you switch to rapport. The point of starting the convo with a statement or question and then with a story is to build comfort by acting like you already know them and are friends. Think of it like starting in the middle of a conversation.

 

[Credos]

Stop asking what you're doing wrong and start asking what you can do to succeed.

Right on

You keep focusing on crap you read here, but in the end you have to make your own moves, else they just come up fake and girls see that. I think thats your main problem and you need to loosen up a little too man, you DO NOT need a relationship, your already expecting things while they haven't even though of you as a friend.

 

[bearfan34201]

Thanks guys. It was a hard night early but it happens ya know. I do seek validation and try to hard to get as many as possible. I really want to just ease up and enjoy myself. I try to force things that I should'nt.


I don't give myself enough credit sometimes. I've lived in my town all my life and I do believe I have already been set in stone with who I am. I've had chances with the hottest girls in school but each time I use to let my insecurities get the best of me.


I had a 7.5 planned for friday. I already hooked up with her so thats in the bag. I have this other 7.5 say how me and her should meet up soon over break and 'hang out'. And then I had a girl who I havent talked to in 4-5 months randomly talk to me and say how we havent talked in awhile but we should def start talking again.


So instead of weighing in on the negatives. I should think about the positivies. Thanks guys and I'll try to ease up on all this.

 

[kyphan]

I dont know how to NOT try hard. I mean what am i suppose to do. Not care?

Yes, you are supposed to not care. Not only are you looking for validation, you care too darn much whether or not you succeed every single time. It's probably be said a million times, but hot women seem to always say the guy they are most interested in at a party is the one having a great time who does not pay any attention to them! She wants the guy who does not need her. Is it really that surprising? Relax and have fun, that's the most important thing to do in life.