"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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what the bleep does she know?

MrNotebook

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What do you do to avoid having a woman think you're tying too hard to be smooth? How does a guy go about not looking like he's trying to be smooth? How do you act relaxed and calm without worrying about if you look DJ or not? Is it true that women pick up on this odd behavior?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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MCristo

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It doesn't work like that. You can't just ask, "how do i act smooth?".

Obviously you ARE trying to be smooth which is why it's coming across that way.

The only way to look truly relaxed and calm is to actually be relaxed and calm. It all comes with confidence and experience.
 

Sir I

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as Justin timberlake once answered a question about his dancing skills,

you have got to practice, practice and practice some more so it will not look as if you are trying but simply do
 

MrNotebook

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Yea but everything in DJ theory implies in order to get women you should act smooth near women in order to get high IOIs. So if you're really a geek, supress it. If you're a dork, supress it. If you're a wimp, supress it. Wait until you're out of the presence of a woman to go back to normal whatever your normal is.

Thats my take on some of the lessons being learnt. Although I struggle, so far I feel pretty well versed in pulling the coolness off by women.
 

SickAgain

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I've been reading a lot Tyler Durden's stuff recently and he states that the openers you use can disarm women and get them thinking in a different states where their defenses are down. An example of this is asking their opinion on something that women like to talk about. He goes on to state that you have to keep in mind when you're talking to a chick that you have to be sizing her up and act like you're willing to walk off at any moment i.e. being a challenge.

He really emphasizes being as playful and fun as possible is equal to be as attractive as possible, while throwing in hints that you're disqualifying her. Pretty much have a highly infectious personality and use it to your advantage.

Now usually I just go up and talk about anything I feel like with a woman and hopefully if she responds positively I'll get the number. I might try using Durden's approach on hotter chicks in the future just to test its efficacy, but I don't think my game is at the level where I talk about sh!t I'm not interested in at all.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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MotownMack

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What MCristo said is true-it's a bad thing if you're trying to be smooth and she's NOT buying it.

HOWEVER, if your question is really- "if women pick up on it that I a smooth guy, they will think I am a player, will it ruin my chances?"


Absolutely not. My experience has been that women want to date players, as much as they say they don't. What they don't like about players is that they have options-and that they can't nail them down or get them to commit to just them. But it absolutely does not mean they are NOT attracted to them-they may proceed with a little more caution, but that's a good place to be.

FYI- just in case this is where you were going- If are in fact being smooth, and a woman calls you a "player" or a "heartbreaker", that's an IOI in 95% of cases, and you're doing just fine.
 

Mistic

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Sir I said:
as Justin timberlake once answered a question about his dancing skills,

you have got to practice, practice and practice some more so it will not look as if you are trying but simply do
Yes, but anything that is practiced is ultimately false.
 

Mistic

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MrNotebook said:
Yea but everything in DJ theory implies in order to get women you should act smooth near women in order to get high IOIs. So if you're really a geek, supress it. If you're a dork, supress it. If you're a wimp, supress it. Wait until you're out of the presence of a woman to go back to normal whatever your normal is.

Thats my take on some of the lessons being learnt. Although I struggle, so far I feel pretty well versed in pulling the coolness off by women.
Acting, suppressing, these are very harmful practices. And for what, to impress a woman, which ultimately has very little value in the bigger picture. In time with experience you will arrive
 

Mavrick

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MrNotebook said:
What do you do to avoid having a woman think you're tying too hard to be smooth? How does a guy go about not looking like he's trying to be smooth? How do you act relaxed and calm without worrying about if you look DJ or not? Is it true that women pick up on this odd behavior?

How? You don't, that's how! You don't in order to get an outcome to occure. You just accept what is and act naturally. You don't think about it or act, you just live in the moment and have fun.
 

scottfall

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I think you have to ingest the knowledge you get from sites like these so they become second nature.

Its like playing a new video game. At first the buttons and surroundings dont make sense, you have to think out each move you make but eventualy it becomes instinct. You become confident in your abilities to manage your ingame character and before you know it your fragging the bad guys and pwning the level bosses!!!11 (or in our cases, swooning the hbs and f'ing your gf's brains out every night)
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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sav

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the key is to get comfortable with yourself... you'll be projecting your confidence without even knowing it...

there are a couple things you need to do for that to happen:

1) figure out what it is you dont like about yourself
2) hit the gym (you have no idea how much of a confidence booster this is, even if your not fat..)
3) get hobbies and concentrate on things that YOU like to do
4) women cant be ur priorities... if they are, ur doing something wrong, women are not THE end, they are just a reward for being the best that you can possibly be.
 

Gibraltar

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sav said:
the key is to get comfortable with yourself... you'll be projecting your confidence without even knowing it...

there are a couple things you need to do for that to happen:

1) figure out what it is you dont like about yourself
2) hit the gym (you have no idea how much of a confidence booster this is, even if your not fat..)
3) get hobbies and concentrate on things that YOU like to do
4) women cant be ur priorities... if they are, ur doing something wrong, women are not THE end, they are just a reward for being the best that you can possibly be.
I like #4 a lot. So true. Become the best man you can be. That puts you in a win-win type situation with the females.

You get to pick and choose who should win you b/c you're on top of your game. And even if a female doesn't feel you, so what! You're still on top of your game, and have lost nothing.

So follow your passions and become what God placed you on earth to become :)
 
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