What the actual ****.

[nousername]

Dated and lived with 17 year old, for 3 years.

Went through lots and lots of sh1t and i ended up breaking it off due to commitment and honesty issues.

I went solid NC on her and got all suicidal, she's my oneitis. Anyway i'm jacked as fuxk now, back to how i used to be before we dated, muscly etc. Get LOTS of attention at clubs i stand out.

Anyway, she contacts me i meet up with her get a BJ and she swallows she loves it and wants to do it again. This is about 3-4 months after i went NC.

THEN, i find out she goes to a party, hooks up with another guy and avoids the subject when i bring it up. I'm a man now so i tell her how it is.

Me:
"You haven't even said sorry, once, any time you've ever messed up. its back to square one now, just like when i moved out. cya later good luck with yourself. x

Her: I love you, endlessly. bye

Her: P.s I didn't do anything wrong, you just have trouble believing me, seen as though I do put 210% in every time, to make this work with you. Even though you don't give 2 ****s and is happy without me in your life, you'll see soon enough, how much I'll go to show you I'm worth spending your life with. You're definitely worth fighting for.


Then she continues to rant on about how much she needs me and loves me, i'm going NC again.

Part of me wants to just use this chick for sex, she does anything in bed and loves it. But then part of me says that it's just going to **** her up more in the long run.

Advice? we are both young, should i just not get attached and keep ****ing her? while telling her that i'll remain faithful while also fcking other women?

It's a question of morals really. I don't know what to do.

 

[AttackFormation]

You don't know what to do and ask us, but you never said what you wanted to do.

 

[nousername]

You don't know what to do and ask us, but you never said what you wanted to do.

I feel like just using her for a bang every now and then, but it goes against who i am as a person, because i feel bad leading her on, even though she does it to me.

I'm just asking for what you guys would do given the same situation?

 

[AttackFormation]

If you're clear to her about it not going to go anywhere romantically then I don't see it as you leading her on. That's what I'd do - let her know the only way things can be with me and that's it. If she actually says she doesn't want sex without commitment then there you go, now your conscience is clean, you were honest to her and yourself and you at least tried to keep getting sex, but if she says yes then you win on both fronts. Or you could next her and not even try to work this out in your favor and thus lose automatically because you couldn't admit what you wanted, or lie to her and so become a prostitute who sells his character in return for sex. You can sugarcoat the deal a little if you want, say something like having a girlfriend doesn't fit into your life to begin with so she doesn't feel that you rejected her. Then she can tell herself she'll be the one to change you.

There's a chance that a girl who really wants you either won't care that you say it's not gonna go anywhere or will just be more turned on by it, since it shows stuff like self-sufficiency as opposed to neediness, and she could start telling herself that he's eventually gonna open up to her or something like that.

 

[narcissist]

I feel like just using her for a bang every now and then, but it goes against who i am as a person, because i feel bad leading her on, even though she does it to me.

I'm just asking for what you guys would do given the same situation?

I was in this exact same situation 6 months ago.

With this girl. Aged 18. She was madly in love with me. Cheated on me. I dropped her completely no contact. She continued to msg me and contact me every single day for two months (clearly bpd). There is a lot more to it. But check out my threads i posted if you want the full scoop, as i try not to talk about her anymore.

But guess what? I didnt go back for sex.

I moved on and am extremely happy i did so. I could have stayed for sex.

But sometimes its important to let go of things that you want but know won't be good for you nousername.

So my advice, go no contact and stick to it.


Let's face it you still love this girl. No need to deny it, if u didnt love her you wouldn't care about her fxcking with another dude or be on here talking about her. I'm not going to judge you. I know how it feels man. But you gotta move on mate or your emotions will get the better of you.

 

[compleks]

You will both be better off if you go NC. Get on with your life and she will do the same, eventually.

3 years is a long time. You might want to just let her know that you can't have her in your life anymore for "insert reasons here" then cut contact.
It sucks, but in the long run it's for the best.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

THEN, i find out she goes to a party, hooks up with another guy and avoids the subject when i bring it up. I'm a man now so i tell her how it is.

= Next. You sound like you're not short on offers. Trust me, this has happened to me a couple of times with a couple of different birds. Now both those relationships are over; though they both came back after I moved on.

Cut your losses mate. Next.