What should I do?

[Nycmfer]

Confident Persistence

The key to women, the key to being surrounded by women, the key to being the envy of all your friends, and the key to being a Don Juan... is Confident Persistence.

www.sosuave.com

Everyone needs to read this. This is why I accept the friend offer after sex. Being called a friend is not making me less a man. Accepting it and not acting like a desperate man or hurt man makes me a bigger man. Its like sales. You dont give up . You never harrass. You play it cool. You call again and build a connection.

 

[Glassguy]

OP- you're dead in the water here. Those are the most cringy messages I've ever seen sent to a woman. Its like you're her gay male friend. Seriously.

Smash and dash. Go silent. Pull back. Arrange another meet up, smash again. Pull back. Show a little interest now and then to throw her some crumbs.

That's when they CHASE and thats when they WANT a relationship.

You are way to FRIENDly with this chick and you killed the vibe. Texting her about nothing is texting her to measure her interest and she knows this.

Pull completely back. No texting. She probably won't reach out but it she does, its invite her over and nothing else. Its yes or no. No small talk.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Confident Persistence

The key to women, the key to being surrounded by women, the key to being the envy of all your friends, and the key to being a Don Juan... is Confident Persistence.

www.sosuave.com

Everyone needs to read this. This is why I accept the friend offer after sex. Being called a friend is not making me less a man. Accepting it and not acting like a desperate man or hurt man makes me a bigger man. Its like sales. You dont give up . You never harrass. You play it cool. You call again and build a connection.

SMH. I disagree with more things in that article than I care to go into here.

Let me simply say, I believe men should never sacrifice their own self respect, in pursuing a woman.

The one quote from it that I think you should re-read is @Nycmfer is this:

“We employ the techniques of CP to get the initial interest up, to get her to relax and open up, to get the phone number, and to get the first date. CP is not an excuse for you to continue pursuing a woman that you're crazy about, but who knows you pretty well, and has no interest in you.”​

​

​

​

 

[Nycmfer]

SMH. I disagree with more things in that article than I care to go into here.

Let me simply say, I believe men should never sacrifice their own self respect, in pursuing a woman.

The one quote from it that I think you should re-read is this:

“We employ the techniques of CP to get the initial interest up, to get her to relax and open up, to get the phone number, and to get the first date. CP is not an excuse for you to continue pursuing a woman that you're crazy about, but who knows you pretty well, and has no interest in you.”​

​

​

​

I don't know her well. He is talking about someone who is in love with some girl that he's known a long time. I take that a different way.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I don't know her well. He is talking about someone who is in love with some girl that he's known a long time. I take that a different way.

With all respect, I think you are mistaken. He discuses using it to get a girl’s initial interest up, in order to get her phone number, in order to get her on a FIRST date.

You have communicated for months. You had a date. You had sex. You may not know her as well, as you would like. She feels she knows enough to have decided she is not interested in seeing you that way again. I get your ego doesn’t like that and wants to prove her wrong. At what cost to you???

 

[Nycmfer]

OP- you're dead in the water here. Those are the most cringy messages I've ever seen sent to a woman. Its like you're her gay male friend. Seriously.

Smash and dash. Go silent. Pull back. Arrange another meet up, smash again. Pull back. Show a little interest now and then to throw her some crumbs.

That's when they CHASE and thats when they WANT a relationship.

You are way to FRIENDly with this chick and you killed the vibe. Texting her about nothing is texting her to measure her interest and she knows this.

Pull completely back. No texting. She probably won't reach out but it she does, its invite her over and nothing else. Its yes or no. No small talk.

Dude, I had sex with this woman. She is hung up on her old bf who she will never see again,. She thought of me as in love with her so she friendzoned me next day. She was just not ready for me. So I say something to her and you back off. Apply no pressure. I'm not texting her over and over. Ignore game doesnt work Im a man and I cant be friends with a girl , doesnt work. A little here and there message doesnt hurt. Doesnt emasculate u. You go along with it and keep your dignity. Dont weaken. Stay nonchalant. Open your eyes everyone. I get chicks. Geez. just a few of you get it . Read Confident Persistence on this site. Apply that to the chicks u just meet who want to take it slow or friendzone u. Dont act desperate. I thought someone was gonna tell me not to cave and keep it up. I appreciate some criticism but lets not be a herd of sheep Blah, blah read a line or two and call me a sissy. lmao.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I personally think you would be much happier (especially in the long run, and if seeking a LTR), by finding a woman who is naturally attracted you, not a woman you have to wear down with your on-going persistence.

 

[Nycmfer]

With all respect, I think you are mistaken. He discuses using it to get a girl’s initial interest up, in order to get her phone number, in order to get her on a FIRST date.

You have communicated for months. You had a date. You had sex. You may not know her as well, as you would like. She feels she knows enough to have decided she is not interested in seeing you that way again. I get your ego doesn’t like that and wants to prove her wrong. At what cost to you???

I personally think you would be much happier finding a woman who is naturally attracted you, not a woman you have to wear down with your persistence.

I'm not wearing her down. That is a poor tactic. Again, its like sales. You dont sever a connection cause they initially say they are uninterested. You maintain a friendship of sorts. Things can happen. Dont burn a bridge. From your point, I get the whole be a man and say you cant be friends thing. She isnt going to suddenly come to you by this declaration? Is she?

 

[Modern Man Advice]

I disagree You can be a distant friend and get her still. Not a lost puppy. Not some fawning fool. Just play it cool. This is not a prepubescent crush carrying her books. I think I'm being a man here .Youre basically cutting her off by unfriending her. You will never get her that way. The solution is Confident Persistence. It must be read to get what I'm saying.

Sure, keep us updated on how this plays out for you.

 

[Toddz]

If you're okay with being her friend and orbiter with the slightest chance of ever having sex with her again then by all means keep communicating with her... You're much better off moving on investing your time, focus, and energy in new prospects. Furthermore, she does live 2 hours away which is a bit far for any sort of healthy relationship. If she were a weekend fling a few times a year that's one thing.. But she's not.

 

[LiveYourDream]

I'm not wearing her down. That is a poor tactic. Again, its like sales. You dont sever a connection cause they initially say they are uninterested. You maintain a friendship of sorts. Things can happen. Dont burn a bridge. From your point, I get the whole be a man and say you cant be friends thing. She isnt going to suddenly come to you by this declaration? Is she?

I never said to declare to her that you can’t be friends. I said invest your time in other women.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. If there is any spark at all, your absence, at this point, will make her wonder about you. At some point, her curiosity will have her reach out to you. When she does, you show her what she has been missing. Repeat. Then escalate.

Random texts from you kill any curiosity that may be building in her.

Your reaching out to tell her about the cake you ate, the snow, and your burnt lasagna is not going to inspire tingles in her. It’s going to make you look like a lonely man without friends and without a life. Why would she feel inspired to be with such a man. I am not trying to be brutal. I am just trying to share how it looks from the other side.

 

[Nycmfer]

She definitely doesnt think I'm lonely. And if she does, I know she is lonely. But I appreciate criticism.

 

[LiveYourDream]

If you would like an interesting and helpful discussion, I’d suggest you cut and paste the actual CP article itself, into a new thread.

Tell the men here you are/ intending to follow the article’s guidelines in pursuing a woman/women. Say that you got some pushback about it from other members here so you are curious what more men here actually think about it, and thus you specifically want to know...

1. What do you think about what this article teaches men?
2. Do you agree/disagree with the approach it teaches? Why?

The feedback you get to those specific questions may give you some more beneficial food for thought, and far beyond just your tactic with this singular woman.

If it would help to simply cut and paste this also...feel free.

 

[Nycmfer]

Good idea. Thanks. I will.

 

[Glassguy]

Yeah

Dude, I had sex with this woman. She is hung up on her old bf who she will never see again,. She thought of me as in love with her so she friendzoned me next day. She was just not ready for me. So I say something to her and you back off. Apply no pressure. I'm not texting her over and over. Ignore game doesnt work Im a man and I cant be friends with a girl , doesnt work. A little here and there message doesnt hurt. Doesnt emasculate u. You go along with it and keep your dignity. Dont weaken. Stay nonchalant. Open your eyes everyone. I get chicks. Geez. just a few of you get it . Read Confident Persistence on this site. Apply that to the chicks u just meet who want to take it slow or friendzone u. Dont act desperate. I thought someone was gonna tell me not to cave and keep it up. I appreciate some criticism but lets not be a herd of sheep Blah, blah read a line or two and call me a sissy. lmao.

Yeah it seems like your process is working wonders. Go ahead and stick with that and hope for the best.

I don't give a fvck about Confident Persistence. I KNOW what works and thats what I do. That is why you have oneitis and chasing this chick while I spin a rotation and have them chasing me.

No thanks.

 

[Black Widow Void]

Welcome aboard...

As you've already encountered, there's a lot of ego among certain forum members (they are more focused on maintaining some image on this forum than digging in and offering advice).

From reading your play-book, it doesn't sound like you've made any drastic mistakes. Actually, it sounds like you have it more down to a science than a lot here. However, this doesn't always provide 100% positive results.

You sound like you've been around the block and so, you've probably encountered women where you could do no wrong. There''s been times when I've fvcked up enough that I've thought to myself... if I was a girl, I wouldn't have given myself the time of day" and still, they did. However, it's all about chemistry and also, not what you say, but how you say it.

It's a tough pill to swallow (and I've had my share of doses) ... but sometimes we have to step back and look at the cost benefit analysis. She's hung up on an ex, you live two hours away, and although (in her eyes) you've played it cool and kept it calm... the payoff just wasn't what you expected.

Sure... it's a bruise to the ego (we've all been there) ... but the longer you focus on her, the harder it'll be to move on from this.

 

[deadmasterx]

Am I lowering my value to her by checking in on her? I think there's a point to going off game and being real and that's why I text her. I only send unrelated ****. Ex; I just had the greatest piece of cake ever, " its snowing so much, how you handling that where you are? " oh i ****ing ruined my lasagna, etc. She responds. I think the guys that move on dont get the girl . Ive been there. She isnt in my neighborhood. Not gonna run into her. Just have text and fb. For me, its a break time which is a good idea. A month off FB, no texts. Could create wonder from her end I think I planted subtle remarks that convey that I value myself. Also, show confident persistence. Not putting my tail between my legs and going away. This is a Latin woman. I think that should be pointed out. I think she was testing me . But yes mentally, I need to draw my focus to me not her.

Point is that you should always let her come to you, no matter if she's a date, your girlfriend, your wife or whatever. When you're putting yourself too much in her orbit, you mix along with the billions of other guys that does the same. The mistake is that you're not giving her time and space to miss you and realize her feelings about you, you're in a position of insecurity which makes you fall for the "illusion of action", that you must do something to get her back to you, to get her to like you.

Honestly, if I were in your position, I know it's something hard to do, but I'd back off completely and let her reach out to me. This girl pretty much "dumped" you, and if you're the one getting dumped, you don't run after. You simply keep on with your life and let her reach out to you again. It can happen in one day, one week, one month or year... but who cares? If you keep putting yourself in her orbit like this, you'll keep on proving yourself to be less and less than an option for her.

She needs time and space to wonder about you, and you don't want to be losing your time with girls that doesn't feel excited about meeting up with you, who doesn't get shiny eyes when looking at you. Dealing with girls who just are uninterested or has this lukewarm interested is just gonna drain your self confidence and self esteem away.

 

[Nycmfer]

Welcome aboard...

As you've already encountered, there's a lot of ego among certain forum members (they are more focused on maintaining some image on this forum than digging in and offering advice).

From reading your play-book, it doesn't sound like you've made any drastic mistakes. Actually, it sounds like you have it more down to a science than a lot here. However, this doesn't always provide 100% positive results.

You sound like you've been around the block and so, you've probably encountered women where you could do no wrong. There''s been times when I've fvcked up enough that I've thought to myself... if I was a girl, I wouldn't have given myself the time of day" and still, they did. However, it's all about chemistry and also, not what you say, but how you say it.

It's a tough pill to swallow (and I've had my share of doses) ... but sometimes we have to step back and look at the cost benefit analysis. She's hung up on an ex, you live two hours away, and although (in her eyes) you've played it cool and kept it calm... the payoff just wasn't what you expected.

Sure... it's a bruise to the ego (we've all been there) ... but the longer you focus on her, the harder it'll be to move on from this.

I was cooped up in my house due to covid. My baseball team was knocked out of the playoffs so I went to the dating sites out of boredom. She hit on me says she thinks im cute but warns she is 2 hours away. I say if you were worth it, I'd drive 6 hours for you. She dug that It was bull**** really. We chatted for three weeks. I deliberately said crazy **** to her. I told her that the thought of her with another man made me crazy. I pushed the envelope cause I felt that she was the type that liked that She said nothing back. I felt i blew it. No girl wants a jealous guy. Guess what? A week later she tells me that was the hottest thing I ever said. But still, I put my cards on the table and I lost. Showed too much. Still she probably knew at that point, we were going to screw. I made myself vulnerable. You cant play the game the same way every time. You need to feel her out. I know she wants me still and thinks about me but I'm working on new options now.

 

[bat soup]

4 months ago, I started having great conversations over the phone with this girl from a dating site. Even became her FB friend. She was not near me so this was a 2 hour trip. I met her 3 months ago and we had sex on the 1st date. The next day, she texts me saying she wants to be friends. I didnt next her but told her I understood, expressed that it was too bad. I really liked her and thought she liked me too.She says she still cant get over her last boyfriend and still loves him but they will never get back together. I was going to be her friend and I decided I was gonna make her regret it. The next week, I meet someone else and have sex with her too. This second girl is a little crazy and marks me up with hickeys. As a joke, I post pictures on FB of the hickeys stating I was attacked by a vampire. My new friend immediately texts me asking me about it. I change the subject and chit chat with her for a while that day. A couple of weeks later, I post a pic of myself on FB with another girl I met and she wants to know about it. I lie and tell her we are seeing each other. Later, she sends me a 2 am text saying she cant sleep I ignore it. She texts me when I'm working asking me if I'm mad at her. Says I'm cold. I text her saying I can't talk, I'm busy. Will text her later. She texts me later when she doesnt hear from me, calling me friend. I respond Hey Friend, cant talk now. Im with someone. She says she wont text me anymore. I sensed she wanted me to say something nice back like oh no, dont say that. Please dont go away. I text her a week later talking about the snow. She asks me how Im doing with the girl I told her I was seeing. I tell her I had to break it off cause she was just toi much. She says that she is sorry to hear and I say its no big deal. I stop hearing from her. I use Confident Persistance texting periodically on her.- 2 weeks, a week, a few days. Jusr play it cool. No relationship discussing or pathetic whining. I 'm just James Dean being cool. However, she never initiates texts now but responds back with herself playing it cool I guess. I cant believe it but I really want her still. It's either I want a challenge or I've really fallen for her. I lose sleep thinking of her. I'm trying to move on. Wtf is wrong with me? I know she cant get over the old boyfriend cause she still has his pics up on FB from 2 years ago but I see her on dating site too. Is she gonna eventually crack and text me or is she moving on? Do I wait this out? Of course, I am meeting other women but I cant get her out of my head. Help.

Instead of playing head games, just forget her and move on.