I"m a 24 yr old male from NJ in need of some advice on my situation. Basically I'm a college graduate and work a 9-5 office job where I feel so socially awkward and nervous all day. I'm 6'4 and good looking (have a nice car), but I really lack social skills and have social anxiety. My outlet for women has been online where I've met over 100 women in my life and messed around with maybe 30 women or so, and slept with 9. In HS i was a loser and learned some game (****y and funny) freshmen year of college. I was very shy so basically now I've turned into a weird guy with weird crazy jokes that normal ppl cant really get. In college I had a lot of successes and felt kind of comfortable, but I"ve lost that since graduation and have stagnated. I feel like women are attracted to my looks and I've decided to start hitting the gym to bulk up to become a real man ( I'm 200 lbs with a belly and skinny arms and shoulders). Going to work everyday just continues to reinforce my flaws and issues daily. Right now I feel unmanly with most girls I meet and havent been able to get sexual with them except for a girl i met in February on AOL whose been coming over once a week for the past 5 months. She's a cute 20 yr old very weird girl who kind of acts like shes 14, so we have fun and have been having unprotected sex for the past 2-3 months. She drives to my houes so I haevnt really had to take her out much. I spend most of my time afterwork online chatting and playing poker. I'm looking for some advice on how to get out of this situation.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
What should I do?
- Thread starter Dman101
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
You need to start switching up your habitual behaviors.
Start making new changes, and commit yourself to them.
For e.g, stop playing poker online, it's sucking away your time to socialize.
Work on your weaknesses for now. Get out there with your friends and invest sometime in the nightlife since you're strapped to work during daytime.
You should also try open up yourself more to your colleagues. Develop relationships.
And since you won't quit poker anytime soon due to the addiction, here's a tip. When you chat online, or with your poker peers, BUILD relationships with them too if you. I'm sure there's a chat function.
Start making new changes, and commit yourself to them.
For e.g, stop playing poker online, it's sucking away your time to socialize.
Work on your weaknesses for now. Get out there with your friends and invest sometime in the nightlife since you're strapped to work during daytime.
You should also try open up yourself more to your colleagues. Develop relationships.
And since you won't quit poker anytime soon due to the addiction, here's a tip. When you chat online, or with your poker peers, BUILD relationships with them too if you. I'm sure there's a chat function.
thewarrior
Don Juan
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- Feb 10, 2009
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If you can help me, I can help you.
First, did these online girls make first contact with you?
Second, did you have to game the girls to open them up sexually or did they lead the way sexually online and offline?
Third, what dating websites did you use? When you say AOL, do you mean AOL chat room?
I think online can be really easy but only if you're really handsome. If you're just average, I doubt girls give you a second look.
First, did these online girls make first contact with you?
Second, did you have to game the girls to open them up sexually or did they lead the way sexually online and offline?
Third, what dating websites did you use? When you say AOL, do you mean AOL chat room?
I think online can be really easy but only if you're really handsome. If you're just average, I doubt girls give you a second look.
There are many people that go through what you are going through. I was once there myself.
If there is someone in particular you want to go for, play out the conversations you could have with her in your mind before you approach her, then you will be less nervous and more prepared. You need to have interesting things to talk about and to do that you need to expose yourself to new experiences to have some interesting tales to tell, and you may meet some nice people there.
I know its wrong to judge people and think that on some level you are better than them, but to enhance your social skills have conversations with people who may not necessarily be worthy of your company, you dont rate them highly, but you can use them for your gain. If it doesnt go well, big deal, you didnt like them anyway.
If there is someone in particular you want to go for, play out the conversations you could have with her in your mind before you approach her, then you will be less nervous and more prepared. You need to have interesting things to talk about and to do that you need to expose yourself to new experiences to have some interesting tales to tell, and you may meet some nice people there.
I know its wrong to judge people and think that on some level you are better than them, but to enhance your social skills have conversations with people who may not necessarily be worthy of your company, you dont rate them highly, but you can use them for your gain. If it doesnt go well, big deal, you didnt like them anyway.
the bold part worries me are you the only guy she does this with?Dman101 said:I"m a 24 yr old male from NJ in need of some advice on my situation. Basically I'm a college graduate and work a 9-5 office job where I feel so socially awkward and nervous all day. I'm 6'4 and good looking (have a nice car), but I really lack social skills and have social anxiety. My outlet for women has been online where I've met over 100 women in my life and messed around with maybe 30 women or so, and slept with 9. In HS i was a loser and learned some game (****y and funny) freshmen year of college. I was very shy so basically now I've turned into a weird guy with weird crazy jokes that normal ppl cant really get. In college I had a lot of successes and felt kind of comfortable, but I"ve lost that since graduation and have stagnated. I feel like women are attracted to my looks and I've decided to start hitting the gym to bulk up to become a real man ( I'm 200 lbs with a belly and skinny arms and shoulders). Going to work everyday just continues to reinforce my flaws and issues daily. Right now I feel unmanly with most girls I meet and havent been able to get sexual with them except for a girl i met in February on AOL whose been coming over once a week for the past 5 months. She's a cute 20 yr old very weird girl who kind of acts like shes 14, so we have fun and have been having unprotected sex for the past 2-3 months. She drives to my houes so I haevnt really had to take her out much. I spend most of my time afterwork online chatting and playing poker. I'm looking for some advice on how to get out of this situation.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Well as far as the online thing, I look good and just send them pics on aol chatroom, facebook, and myspace. The first 2 work better, then I used to get their screenname talk on aim, get a numba and it was easy. I lost my confidence and feel tense all the time now a days so I havent been meeting new girls as often as i used to even though I have my own place now. This young chick, it seem like she dont care about sex and it seems like she wouldnt be messing with other guys cuz of how we talk all the time and how we are, but I could see a possiblility that she coudl be, so I know I need to stop hitting it raw. Its so hard to stop though, so addictive. I just want to get my life in order. I used to meet a lot of girls and do things, but now I'm kinda stuck in life and shorty is my one bright spot along with the potential to quit my job and playing poker for a l iving
na keep hittin just slip a dom on first and go get checked out aswellDman101 said:Well as far as the online thing, I look good and just send them pics on aol chatroom, facebook, and myspace. The first 2 work better, then I used to get their screenname talk on aim, get a numba and it was easy. I lost my confidence and feel tense all the time now a days so I havent been meeting new girls as often as i used to even though I have my own place now. This young chick, it seem like she dont care about sex and it seems like she wouldnt be messing with other guys cuz of how we talk all the time and how we are, but I could see a possiblility that she coudl be, so I know I need to stop hitting it raw. Its so hard to stop though, so addictive. I just want to get my life in order. I used to meet a lot of girls and do things, but now I'm kinda stuck in life and shorty is my one bright spot along with the potential to quit my job and playing poker for a l iving