what should I do??

[spiker]

Hey guys,

Met a girl a few months back that was just out of an LTR.
We have been seeing each other regulary and getting along great!

She has told me she really likes me and wants to date me and I feel the same but she has told me the only thing holding her back is what other people will think.

i.e the word will go around
"didn't take her long to find a new man" etc etc

To a degree I see where she is coming from as we are both in our twenties and gossip'ing among mates is a big thing at that age

how should I respond to this or what should I do?

 

[DonJuanByNature]

Hey guys,
Met a girl a few months back that was just out of an LTR.
We have been seeing each other regulary and getting along great!

only thing holding her back is what other people will think.

i.e the word will go around
"didn't take her long to find a new man" etc etc

To a degree I see where she is coming from as we are both in our twenties

Listen carefully... first of all.. few months is long enough... second of all, if a girl REALLY likes you NOTHING will hold her back.. ladys left their husbands and said screw everyone for another man cause they REALLY wanted them... Third of all, the fact that your saying "to a degree" tells me that you dont agree with he completely (as you can see I mentioned some reasons above why you may feel that way)...
Solution, no reason to argue or even worry about, best thing to do is, to say "sure baby, we can even if you want continue to do our thing and yet appear as friends to everyone on outside, and then when you ready you let me know"

Don't give her too much attention, i.e. do your thing, she will chase you, but when you are together, start the MENTAL ABUSE push/pull techniques (do it playfully) i.e. began the method of developing control... i.e. when she is with you, make sure you here and there show your dominence over her... and when there is other people around, pretend like she noting more then a friend , at some point, SHE will make advances toward you in front of other people (i.e. like grabbing or touching you in way you wouldnt do to a friend)...
Conclusion, the less you show you care, the more attractive you will be...

 

[Dobo]

If you want her. Go for it. Screw what others think. It's not like they are running your life, for you. If these 'mates' are going to bad mouth her, then well, they are not 'mates'. But most importantly, don't give a toss about what they think

 

[Wine Country]

Trust me, you don't want this gig.

Any chick, even if she's a 10, who worries about what people think/say about her is a neurotic. You don't want this gig. Find something new.

Also, when you kick her to the curb, she's going to work harder to earn your favor... why? She worries about what people think/say about her.

If you reciprocate and give her your affection, she will again shift into cruise control and stop short of being your GF or starting an LTR. Why? Because she worries about what people think/say about her. She has your favor, and that's only what she's going to work for. That's as far as she'll go.

I reiterate, you don't want this gig.

 

[Dobo]

Now that I think about it again, Wine Country is right (I'm still learning here, I mean I am only 18)

 

[Kings_royalty]

I would kick back and say something like...

"well, I don't like to spend my time worrying about what other people think because in the end, it doesn't really matter. However, if you allow people to have that much of an effect on what you do or say, then maybe we aren't that compatible after all. Let's take a breather for now; I think you need some time to reevaluate what it is that you want."

This will turn her world upside down and give you control of the situation (which is VERY important). You must ALWAYS, ALWAYS, let them know that you don't NEED them. Through your actions, you need to communicate that you can walk away from her and not give it a 2nd thought.

Sorry, back to my point. If you decide to go this route, you need to get back out there and meet new girls bro. Don't sit at home waiting to see if she calls.