squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,634
- Reaction score
- 180
- Age
- 44
If you find yourself asking this question, you're ALREADY in the wrong mindset.
There is NO SET RIGHT ANSWER. You know in the pit of your stomach what the next thing to do is. If you're ever uncertain, just ACT whatever way feels the best to you and see what happens. But act based on what YOU feel, not what you think SHE is going to want you to do.
The worst that happens is that she responds negatively and you learn a lesson. This is NOT A BAD THING. If you are unwilling to get rejected by women, you will NEVER, EVER learn to be successful with them.
Whenever this thought pops into your head, when you're having a conversation, or on a date, or WHATEVER...do the following:
1) Tell your brain to shut up. You can sit there for years and think it over and never find an answer. Logic will not help you. If your internal monologue and your self-protection mechanisms aren't interrupted, they will prevent you from carrying out Step 2. So absolutely BLANK your mind...interrupt your thinking. By any means necessary.
2) Do/say the FIRST THING that occurs to you. Within reason, of course...if you're crazy and you start having thoughts about flinging poo for some reason, this won't go over well. But any decision within reason is a good one. Don't even worry if it's the "right thing". It's YOU, because you didn't have time to rationalize and screw it up, and if she doesn't appreciate it, she doesn't appreciate YOU. The important thing here is to MAKE A DECISION, to show that even if it's a bad call, you CAN make that call without having to rely on her (or some dork on a SoSuave forum) to make it for you.
3) Observe the outcome. One of two things will ALWAYS happen. Either:
-You will progress further toward your goal
-You will learn a lesson
Both of these are POSITIVE outcomes. Since either one is acceptable, you should NOT care which outcome you get. EITHER is a hundred times better than the outcome that will result from indecision.
4) If you clear your mind and for some reason, NOTHING pops into your head, END the interaction. If it's a conversation, give her the old, "Well, I gotta do xxx so I'll catch you later" with maybe a number-grab. If it's a date, you need to find a good ending point while you're still on a high-note, before she notices your lack of decision. But I know that I've hung around on dates long after the dynamic had died, wondering "what the next move was" and whether I should end it or hang around to see if something else was gonna come up.
Sometimes it's better to end an interaction and take the lessons learned and reprocess them for the next encounter than to try to push forward when you have no inspiration. As you have more and more interactions with women and become confident in yourself, inspiration will guide you more freely.
Indecision is a hundred times more detrimental than ANY decision you could make. Not only do you not proceed toward your goal in indecision, you learn NOTHING. Additionally, if you fail to make decisions, SOMEONE will make them for you. Nothing kills attraction quicker than this.
There is NO SET RIGHT ANSWER. You know in the pit of your stomach what the next thing to do is. If you're ever uncertain, just ACT whatever way feels the best to you and see what happens. But act based on what YOU feel, not what you think SHE is going to want you to do.
The worst that happens is that she responds negatively and you learn a lesson. This is NOT A BAD THING. If you are unwilling to get rejected by women, you will NEVER, EVER learn to be successful with them.
Whenever this thought pops into your head, when you're having a conversation, or on a date, or WHATEVER...do the following:
1) Tell your brain to shut up. You can sit there for years and think it over and never find an answer. Logic will not help you. If your internal monologue and your self-protection mechanisms aren't interrupted, they will prevent you from carrying out Step 2. So absolutely BLANK your mind...interrupt your thinking. By any means necessary.
2) Do/say the FIRST THING that occurs to you. Within reason, of course...if you're crazy and you start having thoughts about flinging poo for some reason, this won't go over well. But any decision within reason is a good one. Don't even worry if it's the "right thing". It's YOU, because you didn't have time to rationalize and screw it up, and if she doesn't appreciate it, she doesn't appreciate YOU. The important thing here is to MAKE A DECISION, to show that even if it's a bad call, you CAN make that call without having to rely on her (or some dork on a SoSuave forum) to make it for you.
3) Observe the outcome. One of two things will ALWAYS happen. Either:
-You will progress further toward your goal
-You will learn a lesson
Both of these are POSITIVE outcomes. Since either one is acceptable, you should NOT care which outcome you get. EITHER is a hundred times better than the outcome that will result from indecision.
4) If you clear your mind and for some reason, NOTHING pops into your head, END the interaction. If it's a conversation, give her the old, "Well, I gotta do xxx so I'll catch you later" with maybe a number-grab. If it's a date, you need to find a good ending point while you're still on a high-note, before she notices your lack of decision. But I know that I've hung around on dates long after the dynamic had died, wondering "what the next move was" and whether I should end it or hang around to see if something else was gonna come up.
Sometimes it's better to end an interaction and take the lessons learned and reprocess them for the next encounter than to try to push forward when you have no inspiration. As you have more and more interactions with women and become confident in yourself, inspiration will guide you more freely.
Indecision is a hundred times more detrimental than ANY decision you could make. Not only do you not proceed toward your goal in indecision, you learn NOTHING. Additionally, if you fail to make decisions, SOMEONE will make them for you. Nothing kills attraction quicker than this.
