What Should I Do About This Unfortunate Situation...

[A-Man2151]

This doesn't have to do with attracting a girl, but rather, a situation with my long-term girlfriends' family that is turning into a serious issue. I have been dating my girlfriend for over 2 and a half years now. We live together, and for all intents and purposes, I see myself with her for a long time.

She has two brothers. One is friendly, I get along well with him. The other has severe bi-polar disorder, and has never said a word to me in the 2 and a half years of us dating. I have never been rude to him, always saying hello, and trying to engage in conversation, but never having much success. He is a pretty rotten person, and gets great satisfaction from making other people miserable, including his sister, my girlfriend.

I have never really done anything about it, considering I know he has an issue, and just figuring it wasn't really my place to intervene. I also am not an idiot and have kinda figured he isn't fond of me, but like I said, he has never said two words to me, so I have slowly lost faith in ever having a relationship with him.

Well, **** hit the fan recently at a family dinner. He was going through a bi-polar 'episode' or whatever you want to call it, texting my girlfriend in a public restaurant. I could read the texts over my gf's shoulder and saw that he was writing her, calling me a '****ing idiot', 'piece of worthless ****', etc...extremely vulgar things about me. Like I said, I have NEVER said a mean thing to this kid in my life.

He storms out of the restaurant, and later sends ME a private message on Facebook calling me a '****ing faggot' and that I will never be good enough for his sister, and to never talk to him again. I have pretty thick skin, and to be honest, I have seen how big of a piece of **** this kid is over the past 2 and a half years, so this doesn't particular bother me. I wish it was different, but I'm not going to let it get to me. The part that makes me mad is how rude he is to my gf. I haven't shown her the Facebook message because I know it will just make her more sad, and I just ignored the message.

Quite the odd situation I'm in...should I continue to take the high road, and ignore him? He thrives on people engaging him in situations like this, so I was figuring this was the best approach, but it's not like I'm never going to see this kid again. Any suggestions?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

WOW, sorry to hear about all that. The good news is, hopefully you're seeing more of your girlfriend than you do of him.

The BAD news is, should you decide to marry this girl, he becomes family. And, unless you two suddenly move farther away, there's always the chance that he could become even MORE of a problem.

In the meantime, I'd say block all avenues where he could contact you - i.e. block him on Facebook and your phone. If he's sending your gf messages, she already knows what he thinks of you, so you showing the messages he sent you won't really change the situation much.

Also, why didn't your girlfriend just turn off her phone instead of allowing herself to continue receiving those messages at dinner? Seems kinda rude on her part - not necessarily a big deal, but if I had started getting text messages from someone while eating with others I would have turned my phone off.

 

[A-Man2151]

I think my gf has gotten to the point where ignoring him does nothing to abate his actions, as she has tried time and time again to ignore him. His relentless rudeness is something she has had to deal with for years, but in the last few years, it has just been directed at me...for some unbeknownst reason. My gf isn't the kind of person to just take something like this without responding forever...so she let's him know how disappointed he makes her, but he doesn't care. His 'bad' bipolar side is pretty appalling. I just happen to be stuck in the middle of it at times unfortunately, and don't really know the best way to handle it.

 

[Trump]

If you don't say anything to him now, what are you going to do when a stranger, co-worker, or friend puts you and your girlfriend down, chalk it up to bipolar disorder?

You have to fight back and stand up for yourself. You keep this anger bottled inside for so long one day you'll snap and do something drastic.

Happened to my brother...his wife, who had no money, put him down, put him down, put him down, he didn't fight back and he killed himself, she took all his money, more than half a mil, bought a beach house and bmw with the money and married another stud.

Fight back bro...don't let anyone put pressure on you.

 

[Purefilth]

If you don't say anything to him now, what are you going to do when a stranger, co-worker, or friend puts you and your girlfriend down, chalk it up to bipolar disorder?

You have to fight back and stand up for yourself. You keep this anger bottled inside for so long one day you'll snap and do something drastic.

Happened to my brother...his wife, who had no money, put him down, put him down, put him down, he didn't fight back and he killed himself, she took all his money, more than half a mil, bought a beach house and bmw with the money and married another stud.

Fight back bro...don't let anyone put pressure on you.

trouble ther is the bi-polar bit.

Never hit a crazy person....



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[A-Man2151]

I certainly would have no problem sticking up for my gf if anyone else in the world was giving her a problem. It's the whole dynamic of trying not to create a scene at a family function, with the rest of her family there. I'm trying to be the more mature one here, so I feel like ignoring it is the best way. But you're right, I don't know if I can ignore it forever, and if I will finally have had enough and confront him in person and tell him that his sister is my future wife, and I don't care who you are...you don't treat her disrespectfully.