what problem to tackle first

[Dman101]

Based on my positives and negatives, what would be a good gameplan and order to tackle these problems to change my life to becoming a well adjusted person who can get females and enjoy life. I have tons of dating books, dating seminars, and books on confidence / social anxiety, stuttering, etc. but havent read them yet

Positives

Tall

Handsome

college graduate with well paying job

Nice Car

Apt. w. roomates and big screen tv and nice setup

Smart with a lot of potential and abilitiy to learn fast

Can get women online to meet me and sometime they are really cute and like me. Have a beautiful girl interested that I'm slacking on due to my negatives.

Negatives

Pretty bad social anxiety- get very nervous/ tense/ heart racing around ppl

Stutter too much, mumble words, talk low

Bad social skills

Pot belly and skinny- going to the gym 3 times a week

Always slack on girls even though they show interest

Can't approach women well at all

Have bad game with women, all my life depended on looks. Too nice, accomodating, and silly sometimes.

Broke- 10k in credit card debt 16k for car loans and 18k for student loans. Am a good poker player and plan on studying the game further to make money to get out of debt.

Depressed- Because of all of these negatives I've become overwelmed and sad. I know I have a ton of work to do and dont know where to start

 

[alwayslead8821]

Go out and just start smiling and saying hello to strangers and start up light conversations. It doesn't have to be all hot girls but it will get you more comfortable. When it comes to talking to people, always talk on the exhale and act like you are talking to the person behind them. It's ok at first if you make a fool of yourself but it will help you a lot in getting rid of those flaws in speaking.

Since you have this social anxiety what your probably doing is not paying attention enough to the surroundings. When I say that I mean you need to pay more attention to what she is saying and work of that to be smooth. Like if she says yeah I'm tired I had a long day. You don't "say so did I!" you say oh why did you have a long day? etc etc.
Your thought process or frame of mind needs to change when you are talking to people. Think of all those positive things that you listed first and only that! the negative voice that pops into your head is the one that gives you the anxiety. learn to pay attention to your thoughts and squash the negative ones with positive ones. I got over my initial approach anxiety by playing a game. The game was to have a couple buds out and whoever could get the most rejections would win and the others would have to buy him drinks. So there are two positives, it could work and hell if you get rejected you still get a point!

When it comes to all that debt, man you need to stop spending money you don't have.. Most people do I know but it just puts you on this treadmill of paying of interest. The main difference between the rich and the poor is that the rich HATE having any debt and do whatever they can to pay it off. Not oh just a little shopping spree and it wont hurt! no! its that little bit of money could go to my debt and pick away at it!

 

[FreD_BeaR]

Pretty sure gambling isn't the answer, but thats your choice. Figure out what is making you have these traits first off. So you youre depressed because you get nervous around people, women especially and you fumble around with your words. You have bad game, youre too nice and depend on looks.

So you have all these materials on self improvement in all areas, but you havent read them? Read them, they will help fix these negative aspects of your life, IF YOU DO THE WORK AND APPLY IT TO YOURSELF.

It sounds like youve got a lot to offer, as you say; youre tall, handsome, smart and have a good job. So why don't you put in the effort when it comes to women? It sounds like you have some major confidence issues and are insecure.

Whether you are in major debt, or whether you have a car and big screen tv really dont affect how a women feels attraction for you. Its how these things affect YOU, and make YOU feel and act. And obviously its gotten the best of you, which is why you are having trouble interacting with women. You are too hard on yourself and you lack the confidence that attracts women.

Read the"tons of dating books, dating seminars, and books on confidence / social anxiety, stuttering, etc." you have, it works. And after you read them, read them again, and again. This is where I faltered. I get in the great state of mind, then find a great girl. I stop reading them, i start slipping and by the time i realize it, its too late.