what path is my ltr going?

[L B]

I have a long term relationship with this girl. She is confusing the hell out of me. Short term relationship, if a does this, I would next her like nothing. When I made a committment on a ltr, I do all I can to make it work.

I always play it cool, DJ style, by not giving her too much attention and only reward her when she does something good. I only call her to say good night, and if she has a test coming up for college, I would call to say good luck. She does most of the calling. She says she misses me and everything. I use it only sparingly.

What I don't know is why she mentions to a mutual friend that she needs her personal space all of a sudden. She even go as far as mention that if she broke up with me, our friend will still consider her a friend. He hooked us up.

Her actions say one thing and her words say another. Also, she has PMS this week. Have you guys experience this. Is it the PMS talking or her true feelings? The mutual friend is my mentor. I know for a fact that he has my back from day one.

Short term relationships, I have no problem with, but ltr is something that is new to me. I am learning a lot. Please help me out guys.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by L B
I have a long term relationship with this girl. She is confusing the hell out of me. Short term relationship, if a does this, I would next her like nothing. When I made a committment on a ltr, I do all I can to make it work.

You can't make it work if SHE doesn't WANT to make it work.

She wants space...give her space.

There's not enough information in this post to diagnose the root problem, here, but when a girl wants her space, there's no "tricks" you can pull here. Give her her space. See if that's REALLY what she wants. If so, then the relationship is over. If not, she'll be back quicker than you think.

 

[Desdinova]

Squirrels summed it up nicely. She wants her space, so shove it down her throat. Break up with her so she can have her space. If she asks you for favors after the two of you have split, don't help her. She needs her space. If she calls you, don't answer. She needs her space. Give her some time to have her space. Give her at least a couple of months, if not, more. Go date some other women. Later, you'll have the option of taking her back when she's done with having her space, or you can toss her and get a better woman who likes having her space invaded by a MAN.

 

[b's nuts]

one thing i have learned about an ltr, if there is no drama they can't be happy. you gotta give them drama, they feed off of it.

 

[DeathDealer]

You shouldn't be confused. When girls are giving you mixed signals or confusing acts in a relationship, she probably doesn't like you that much. It could be your fault or a combination.

 

[L B]

Thank you fellow DJs for the replies. I think it's her PMS, and I am sick and tire of it. She was good at the beginning, but now she is all drama. She is always the one calling me to meet her up and go places with her. Then she says she needs her space? What's going on? Whatever, I will give her her space until she begs for me to invade her space. I though I was ready for an ltr, but I was wrong. Too much drama involved. Maybe ten years from now, I might consider ltrs.

No more, not now. In the meantime, I will continue to hone my DJ skills to move to the next level. Thanks guys

 

[b's nuts]

Originally posted by L B
Thank you fellow DJs for the replies. I think it's her PMS, and I am sick and tire of it. She was good at the beginning, but now she is all drama. She is always the one calling me to meet her up and go places with her. Then she says she needs her space? What's going on? Whatever, I will give her her space until she begs for me to invade her space. I though I was ready for an ltr, but I was wrong. Too much drama involved. Maybe ten years from now, I might consider ltrs.

No more, not now. In the meantime, I will continue to hone my DJ skills to move to the next level. Thanks guys

super sympin ain't nothin but pure pimpin, an ltr is much more difficult to hold up then the flavor of the month. If she is worth it, handle the drama, because you won't find a girl that doesn't need drama in their life, why do you think they watch soap operas? I had a problem with some of the attitude that comes along with PMS, but i put it right on the line and told my ltr that I wasn't going to put up with *****yness and PMS isn't going to be an excuse.

 

[Desdinova]

I think it's her PMS

Women use that excuse for anything they cannot explain. She can't explain why she's losing interest in you, so she gives you the most logical thing she can think of.... PMS. Chicks and logic don't go well together.

She wants out of this LTR, but she's going to drag it out as long as possible and then she'll give you that "I need some time alone, but I still want to be friends" 5hit.

 

[L B]

I don't want to end it with her. I am waiting for her to end it, so I can agree and end it in good terms. I will make her feel so good about it that we will be good friends. When we hang out as good friends, and her girlfriends are around, and they look good. I will get them through her. She will tell them nice things about me because of how great of a guy I am. hehe. .

Just this morning alone, I got several numbers cold call. Winter break will be so much fun. Oh, why did I give up the ladies to be with her, why?

You guys have great insights.

A DJ back in the game thanks to the support of the DJ community.

 

[Desdinova]

[/quote/ I don't want to end it with her. I am waiting for her to end it, so I can agree and end it in good terms. I will make her feel so good about it that we will be good friends. [/quote]
Oh fuuuuck man, could someone hand me a puke bucket......

You'll be waiting a while. Why not speed it up a bit? Tell her you think that the two of you need time apart, but you'd still like to be friends. There's nothing saying you can't end it on good terms.

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by L B
I have a long term relationship with this girl. She is confusing the hell out of me. Short term relationship, if a does this, I would next her like nothing. When I made a committment on a ltr, I do all I can to make it work.

I always play it cool, DJ style, by not giving her too much attention and only reward her when she does something good. I only call her to say good night, and if she has a test coming up for college, I would call to say good luck. She does most of the calling. She says she misses me and everything. I use it only sparingly.

What I don't know is why she mentions to a mutual friend that she needs her personal space all of a sudden. She even go as far as mention that if she broke up with me, our friend will still consider her a friend. He hooked us up.

Her actions say one thing and her words say another. Also, she has PMS this week. Have you guys experience this. Is it the PMS talking or her true feelings? The mutual friend is my mentor. I know for a fact that he has my back from day one.

Short term relationships, I have no problem with, but ltr is something that is new to me. I am learning a lot. Please help me out guys.

She's not happy with the relationship and it sounds like she's thinking about ending it. By what you've described, it sounds like you haven't adjusted your behavior towards her to fit being in a relationship. If a girl/woman doesn't see any progression emotionally or feeling like you're getting closer she senses that it's not working. It just doesn't feel right and she's not getting what she needs emotionally from the relationship. While it's true that you can't suffocate her with attention, affection and intimacy...you can't starve her of those things either. You need to find a happy medium.

 

[Kaine]

LB you didn't post any evidence to prove that she's a drama queen. All you have recognised here is that she told a mutual friend she wanted some space. Have you had problems else where, can you not identify a dwindling interest in her actions besides this indirect one.

Obviously if she's asking you out and been the one to make contact then the interest must be there (intuitively). It would be pretty insidious if a girls attitude begins to change towards you but her actions don't reflect the change.

Is this a possible exception to the rule, look at her actions not what she says?

 

[NatureGuy]

What she said about 'wanting her personal space' could mean just about anything. Most of the intepretations here are just possiblities. She could be telling your friend that to get you motivated or to add a little drama to things; she could be in a bad mood, she could be saying she want's a little space so that she can focus on some other things for a while or to do some thinking, and so on. By the way, isn't PMS what women get in their 40's /50's ? You mean her 'period' I think.