"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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What now?

RandallP

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I am still learning so hear me out.

Last year I ran into this girl at work who looked lost. Of course I stopped and asked her if she was lost. She was very nice and smiling the whole time. Probably an HB9 or so. Blonde hair, blue eyes, thin, perfect smile. You get the picture. So I help her find where she needs to go but I didn't get her number.

Fast forward to earlier this week. I am walking out through the lobby and there is a girl about 15 yards ahead of me walking out the door. The helpdesk guy knows me and he yells my name "Hey Randall, hows it going?" At that moment I notice the girl ahead of me stop and turn around. She says, "I know you. You helped me exactly one year ago in this same building." It took me a minute to remember her.

Anyway, make a long story short she remembered all sorts of details about me. Asked me about my hair being different and said she liked it. I joked with her about it being destiny that we ran into each other again and she said "yeah, it must be fate." Later in the convo she even initiated a high five which I thought was cool. I told her we needed to hang out and she gave me her number.

My problem is I called her the next day (I wasn't going to, but my dad kept pushing me to call her after I told him about her. No I'm not in HS, I just tell my dad almost everything esp if it has to do with women lol). She didn't return my call that night but instead txt'd me the next morning with "sorry missed your call, hope you have a good day, will talk to ya later". I never responded bc I thought that was a lame response to a voice mail I left her. The day after that she called me and left a voicemail saying "sorry I missed your call the other night, I've been really busy, give me a ring."

After I got the vm I sent her a text and we txt'd a few times back and forth, just banter/flirtin and I said we should go do something, "when are you free", she said she was busy most the weekend with family stuff but "maybe Sunday." I didn't call her this Sunday b/c I was out of town and I wasn't sure about her "maybe" reply.

What should I do now? Not sure if I fugged up by not calling her Sunday? Hell she never told me for sure, all she said was maybe sunday. She works two jobs so her time is pretty tight. I did end up calling her this afternoon (been about 3 days since our last text), and got no answer. Left a c&f voicemail and told her to call me. We'll see what happens here. Any advice?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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kraytkiller

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RandallP said:
After I got the vm I sent her a text and we txt'd a few times back and forth, just banter/flirtin and I said we should go do something, "when are you free", she said she was busy most the weekend with family stuff but "maybe Sunday." I didn't call her this Sunday b/c I was out of town and I wasn't sure about her "maybe" reply.
Your doing it wrong. First of all, no voicemails. You call, they don't pick up, you hang up. The end.

Next is texting. Why did you text? That was a perfect opportunity to call her, though you should have waited to do either.

Next, you don't ask 'when are you free'. You tell her what your going to do, and when your going to do it. Example: 'Alright we'll go to the park friday 7 o clock.'. Crappy example, but whatever maybe you get the idea.

Your new here though. So you should probably read the bible. Because you haven't. http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/
 

RandallP

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Thanks for the input. I will read the bible. :) Any shot at saving this one?
 

CrazyandLazy

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Hate to say this and you probably know but you should have called her up on Sunday.

Saving this one? I dunno cause I'm not that girl. I wouldn't know what she would think of you. Just call her, preferably at night around 8 or 9 on Wednesday or later. If she's still interested she will pick up and chat. You can work your way from there.
 

RandallP

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CrazyandLazy said:
Hate to say this and you probably know but you should have called her up on Sunday.

Saving this one? I dunno cause I'm not that girl. I wouldn't know what she would think of you. Just call her, preferably at night around 8 or 9 on Wednesday or later. If she's still interested she will pick up and chat. You can work your way from there.
Well, looks like all is not lost. I got a txt from her early this morning saying "sorry missed your call last night, I had a migraine, went to bed early. I'll call you later"
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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RandallP

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No prob. :)

I did not respond to her txt this morning.


Got another txt this afternoon that said she would call me after 9 b/c she was out of daytime minutes. I responded to her txt this afternoon. Told her "I will have my butler, Jeeves, look for her phonecall." She txted back "too funny :D" My alternate reply was going to be "I might answer. ;)" But opted for the butler one.

I'll update after we talk tonight.
 

Kevin Feng

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Sit on it and play it cool. Easier said than done, but don’t freak out, I will suggest that you check this article out as I’m sure it will help you with your phone game.


http://theasianplayboy.blogspot.com/2006/01/importance-of-rotations-phone-game.html


At this point, I think you’ve done everything in your power to game this girl, anything more and you’ll just come across as creepy or needy, which you definitely do not want.

Game more women!
 

RandallP

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update: she txt me a few min ago and said "Hey, I want to feel good when we chat and I still have a pretty bad headache lingering will you forgive me if we chat tomorrow :)"

Doesn't make sense. If she's not interested why doesn't she just not respond at all. Then again she could be tellin the truth. I'm kinda wondering if she has a boyfriend or something and simply has very limited time she can talk. I dunno. Next move? Respond or no?

edit: thanks for the link Kevin. Good read. I do have an ex calling me begging me to call her back. My problem is I was in a LTR for 4 years. I used to have game...I'd open any girl. C&F was always my favorite. Unfortunately now I'm very rusty. :)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Cure

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shes being a pain, but women are like that somtimes, it doenst mean she IS or ISNT into you.

Just ignore 3/4 of her messages untill she actually rings you, that way if shes interested she will call, if shes not, you dont waste your time or lavish your attention on a girl who doesnt deserve it.

Cure
 

RandallP

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thanks for the encouragement guys.

update time:

So today I decided **** it. I'm not going to put much more effort into this one. Last night I cut my workout a little short hoping she would call me. AFC move. Tonight I went to the gym like normal, and then went for my 40 minute run after that. I literally just walked in the door and whatayaknow. Miss HB called and left me a sexy message. Well it wasn't sexy per say, she just has a sexy little voice. Anyway, she said she was sorry she's been under the weather lately and now she thinks she's over it. Said she would love to have a teacher for rock climbing and to call her anytime. (I asked her once in a txt if she had ever been rock climbing)

Also, tonight while jogging I had 2 different girls yell at me, so that was nice. One yelled "hey boyyyyy!" and the other just did like a little whistle. Always good for the ol confidence. :)
 

youbaby11

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RandallP said:
thanks for the encouragement guys.

update time:

So today I decided **** it. I'm not going to put much more effort into this one. Last night I cut my workout a little short hoping she would call me. AFC move. Tonight I went to the gym like normal, and then went for my 40 minute run after that. I literally just walked in the door and whatayaknow. Miss HB called and left me a sexy message. Well it wasn't sexy per say, she just has a sexy little voice. Anyway, she said she was sorry she's been under the weather lately and now she thinks she's over it. Said she would love to have a teacher for rock climbing and to call her anytime. (I asked her once in a txt if she had ever been rock climbing)

Also, tonight while jogging I had 2 different girls yell at me, so that was nice. One yelled "hey boyyyyy!" and the other just did like a little whistle. Always good for the ol confidence. :)

hahah awesome
 

RandallP

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So update:

About a week ago we went out. It was fun. We have been randomly chatting over txt the last week since our date. She came by my work and visited me for about 30 minutes too.

We are supposed to go out again tonight but she's acting flaky as usual. I mentioned on Tuesday when I saw her that we should go out on Friday and she agreed. I called her last night, no answer. Did not leave a message. Got a txt from her at 1pm today that said "hope you're having a good day" I'm thinking WTF...thanks I guess. I send her one back that says "Good. U? How does 7 tonight sound?" That was almost 2 hours ago, no response.

If she flakes on me tonight without a da*n good excuse I'm nexting her.

..why even respond to my calls or txts at all if you aren't interested. She always responds and a lot of times she initiates the communication first.
 

RandallP

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Welp, got a txt from her saying she has a fever and she isn't feeling well. Said "can we do this another night." Just got the text at 4:30 today and I sent her the txt saying "7 tonight" at 1:45 today.

Not sure whether to believe her or not. Part of me wonders if she has a boyfriend...
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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LinkinParkROX

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Sounds a tad like you've got one-itis for this HB. And look, she keeps flaking almost all the time. Stop and ask yourself if one woman is worth all the time & effort you invest in her & her stupid flakyness. I'd say next her, she ain't worth it. Just my two cents. :)
 

Igetit!

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RandallP said:
Welp, got a txt from her saying she has a fever and she isn't feeling well. Said "can we do this another night." Just got the text at 4:30 today and I sent her the txt saying "7 tonight" at 1:45 today.

Not sure whether to believe her or not. Part of me wonders if she has a boyfriend...
Ha,ha,ha. Fever on demand. Now that's a new one.

I'll give her points for creativity.

So when she told you she "had a fever",she didn't suggest a specific alternative date,she just said,"another time",right?

That means she did receive you earlier text,the one asking about tonight.

Her interest seems low,but no problem.

I think I have the antidote to her little "fever".

Go to the bottom of this reply,and click on the word "THIS!",and follow those instructions. Don't worry,it's not a thread of 5 pages to read. In fact,it's not a thread at all,just one single reply.

It's NOT EASY. You'll have to be strong to do it,however,if you do have the strength and patience,it should tip things in your favor.

Peace man.
 

RandallP

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Igetit! said:
Ha,ha,ha. Fever on demand. Now that's a new one.

I'll give her points for creativity.

So when she told you she "had a fever",she didn't suggest a specific alternative date,she just said,"another time",right?

That means she did receive you earlier text,the one asking about tonight.

Her interest seems low,but no problem.

I think I have the antidote to her little "fever".

Go to the bottom of this reply,and click on the word "THIS!",and follow those instructions. Don't worry,it's not a thread of 5 pages to read. In fact,it's not a thread at all,just one single reply.

It's NOT EASY. You'll have to be strong to do it,however,if you do have the strength and patience,it should tip things in your favor.

Peace man.
Thank you for the advice. I read all of it. Interesting approach. I would think by ignoring her for so long she would lose interest? I know that if I haven't talked to a girl in 5 days I start to forget about her.

Thing is she sends me these "hope you're having a good day" texts almost every day. Regardless of if I call or text her. It's so weird. Sometimes they're at like 7:30 in the morning other times at lunch. I don't send girls msg's for no reason unless I'm tryin to stay in touch with them/want to bang them. The ones I don't like I never attempt to communicate with and if they call/txt me I don't reply.

At any rate, next thursday would be the 5 day deadline. So to recap...if she does anything but call me, don't respond. If she calls me, I can answer, but I have to keep it short and do not accept any invites to hang unless I basically make it sound like I'm not interested b/c she's too busy. Once she begins to make it glaringly obvious that she's making time for me, that is when I say ok?

Before I begin my 5 days should I respond at all to her little fever txt? I haven't written anything back yet. I feel like my lack of response may come across as a passive aggressive AFC move? Should I at least write something like "no prob, get well..."
 

RandallP

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LinkinParkROX said:
Sounds a tad like you've got one-itis for this HB. And look, she keeps flaking almost all the time. Stop and ask yourself if one woman is worth all the time & effort you invest in her & her stupid flakyness. I'd say next her, she ain't worth it. Just my two cents. :)
Yeah, you are right. She's very attractive. When we went out to dinner I noticed everyone staring at her when we walked around. I even had a guy come up to me later on and ask me who she was...said holy sh*t dude, she's hot! Easily the most attractive girl I've ever been out with. My ex was an easy hb8.
 

LinkinParkROX

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Oh so she's a pretty *****? In that case, she's probably used to being treated the way you treat her by tons of other guys. You need to man up and show her who's boss.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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