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What now? (Long Story)

suhbzer0

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Hi,
I'm new to this board and here's the story:

I met this chick at work for 7 months (I'm 19 and she's 17). I never really considered her anything else besides an aquantaince, but things started to change we both established rapport (same interests, views, etc.) One thing we seriously had in common was lonliness. The people we work with consider her to be soo annoying (mostly the guys), but luckily most of them already knew me as one of their friends. I talked them into giving her a chance to get to know her. They did, and it became the biggest mistake I probably made--she was starting to fall for them. What i mean is, she'd jump from guy to guy, but none of the relationships worked. I established that she's really flakey/fickle and the biggest attention wh0re in our workplace. She can't make up her damm mind. Even though, i had feelings for her, i just wanted her to be happy (although i was more jealous of the guys whos she was into.) I asked her out one night, but she LJBF-ed me! I shrugged it off and tried to move on. I was too late (i guess). Beforehand I became her 'therapist', 'buddy/friend'. And I consider it my fault now. I did all the kino (she kinoed back as well). Blah blah blah, time went on and I ignored her for week cuzs I found out that she was messin' w/one of whom i considered a friend. He said he wouldn't have a relationship w/her cuz he knew that i had really strong feelings. It wasn't hard to tell that there was something going on w/those two--actions speak louder than words. I confronted him privately, but he blatenly kept denying that there wasn't anything. It made me soo f'n pissed. I knew the guy for 8 months and befriended him during that time, put my trust in him, and this his how he treats me?! I've made no enemies at work cuz i see most of the people every friggin' day. I go there and do my job and go home, etc. After weeks of ignoring her--she started to realize how much she missed me (according to one of her best friends). She liked talking to me and just being a 'friend'. I for one didn't like being LJBF-ed. I wanted her, but she was flakey and i wasn't reactive enough which lead to my downfall. As I said before she has a history of indecisiveness. I told her that I was upset cuz she didn't tell me the truth (women are f'n liars!). I was more upset w/the fact that she was having a relationship w/my now former friend (he's 22yrs old, a lying, backstabbing, and now i discovered he's pedophile w/a lot of kiddy/incest pics/vids in his comp). She broke it off w/him when she found out from her best friends (whom i told). She longed for my attention so she was willing to prove herself to me again--unfotunately, she was still 'confused' and meant in a LJBF way. I gave her a chance (big mistake!) She said she saw me in a different light after not having my attention for a couple of weeks. We had a little dinner date after work then I took her to my place and talked about how she wants this to work (made out/foreplay, etc.) Days after the incident she told me she was scared and things were going to fast. I told her that I'd go slow--but she now thinks she doesn't feel anything else about me besides as a friend...it broke my heart and i felt depressed. After all the things we've done that one night; she f'n flakes out! I told her that I felt 'something'--but she didn't. Right now, I just gave up on her (I stopped looking at her, talking to her, etc.) She's now really upset that I told her that I 'hate' her for playing w/my emotions, mind and my heart. I honestly had wanted to genuinley help her out, but she kept pushing me away. I thought she was worth it, but i now just realized that no girl is really worth the trouble unless they prove themselves. I really thought, i had connected w/her--wtf happend?! And what am I supposed to do now?!

Thanks for reading
 

stallion

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next time you should edit your paragraph so its easier to read.. I didn't bother finishing it but basically, its bros before hoes.

Its not worth losing a friend/making a enemy over any girl IMO. I would go out and grab more phone # rather than dwell on this one girl.
 

davelmn2003

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Keep ignoring her. As you said it, she's an attention whor@. I don't like girls craving for attention--of ANYONE, as long as they get the attention. This girl who dated me twice and who expressed interest in me started ignoring me. Couldn't get a hold of her, etc etc. But you know what my mistake was? I wrote her an e-mail (since I could no longer get her on the damn phone!) and basically said goodbye if she didn't like to see me again, though I left the door open, saying that I'd still like to see her.

No response!

She might have thought that we were going too fast and pulled back a little bit, but I didn't get that. (Of course, she might really got turned off by me, too). Well, I lost my cool.

Our common mistake is that WE PUT GIRLS ON PEDESTALS!! We treat them as the center of our life, giving them all the attention, time we have. For some reason, girls just don't like that, it seems. I mean, I would love to have a girl who showers her attention on me, so I don't understand why girls don't like me to do that to them??

Anyway, back off and start ignoring her, but stay COOLY FRIENDLY, don't ignore her completely. Don't show that you're mad or annoyed or disturbed by her. Carry on with a smile, but don't talk to her much, just say hi and bye and respond when you're asked a question.

At least that's what I'd do.
 

Fadero

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The longer you keep her in your life, the more she will confuse you and break you down to the point of insanity. When girls tell you that they are "confused" or think "they are moving too fast", thats just a flakey excuse for wanting to let you down very easily. There is no cure to the "confusion" or there is no right pace to "slow things down." Trust me.

If a girl really likes you, her mind is made up and she wants to pursue everything with you whole-heartedly. I mean, if you really liked a girl and had no distractions or other options teasing your mind, wouldn't you be more decisive in liking that one girl? Same sh*t.

Next her and find a girl who truly wants to be with you...and only you. Start living a healthier life and mindset. Leave your friend at baggage claim because thats where she belongs.
 

suhbzer0

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Thanks for the advice, I wholeheartedly appreciate it! Hopefully this is just a stepping stone towards becoming a true DJ.
 
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