What message am I going to send out here?

[rhythmic]

So I just moved to the city, and have ended up living 5 minutes' walk from an old girlfriend's place. We're still in touch, occasionally chat as friends (she has a seemingly infinite amount of really hot friends, which is a mine I plan to tap into in the near future). Her place is on the route to where I go to work out.

So later, I'm going to drop some flowers by on my way home. She's had a hard time of it lately with some health problems, and they'll brighten her day.

1. I know this isn't going to be AFC behavior, although on the surface it might seem like it. What can I do to make it absolutely clear that this isn't an expression of AFC interest on my part?

2. Any other thoughts, I guess.

I'm absolutely not outcome-dependent here; whatever way she takes it, I'm not going to lose. I'm not interested in a relationship, although I'd totally hit that again (unlikely because she's doing her best to be a full-blown Christian now, but I do enjoy a challenge). Since we broke up, my life has gotten more awesome, hers substantially less so.

 

[betheman]

So I just moved to the city, and have ended up living 5 minutes' walk from an old girlfriend's place. We're still in touch, occasionally chat as friends (she has a seemingly infinite amount of really hot friends, which is a mine I plan to tap into in the near future). Her place is on the route to where I go to work out.

So later, I'm going to drop some flowers by on my way home. She's had a hard time of it lately with some health problems, and they'll brighten her day.

1. I know this isn't going to be AFC behavior, although on the surface it might seem like it. What can I do to make it absolutely clear that this isn't an expression of AFC interest on my part?

2. Any other thoughts, I guess.

I'm absolutely not outcome-dependent here; whatever way she takes it, I'm not going to lose. I'm not interested in a relationship, although I'd totally hit that again (unlikely because she's doing her best to be a full-blown Christian now, but I do enjoy a challenge). Since we broke up, my life has gotten more awesome, hers substantially less so.

sounds ok as a plan, however if she harbours any resentment towards you or if she still has feelings for you, tapping into that 'mine' might not be so easy.

 

[Sir_Laid_A_Lot]

So I just moved to the city, and have ended up living 5 minutes' walk from an old girlfriend's place. We're still in touch, occasionally chat as friends (she has a seemingly infinite amount of really hot friends, which is a mine I plan to tap into in the near future). Her place is on the route to where I go to work out.

So later, I'm going to drop some flowers by on my way home. She's had a hard time of it lately with some health problems, and they'll brighten her day.

1. I know this isn't going to be AFC behavior, although on the surface it might seem like it. What can I do to make it absolutely clear that this isn't an expression of AFC interest on my part?

2. Any other thoughts, I guess.

I'm absolutely not outcome-dependent here; whatever way she takes it, I'm not going to lose. I'm not interested in a relationship, although I'd totally hit that again (unlikely because she's doing her best to be a full-blown Christian now, but I do enjoy a challenge). Since we broke up, my life has gotten more awesome, hers substantially less so.

You are not fooling anyone by telling that you are not interested in a relationship. You are and that's a fact. You'd definitely hit that again if she ACCEPTED. You guys didn't BREAK UP. I am pretty sure she was the one who DUMPED you. Why would you want to GIVE FLOWERS to her. It's the MOST AFC thing to do. Save yourself some expenses (Though it's not much) and do something better with that money. There is nothing you can do to make it absolutely clear that this isn't an expression of AFC interest on your part because it is CRYSTAL CLEAR. It dosen't get better than sending you EX who dumped you a bunch of flowers. Common you can do better than that. Just because her home is on the way to your work does not warrant that you send her a bunch of flowers. She's probably forgotten you by now. That's a fact. Trust me, flowers from you won't brighten her day. That's one of the most AFC THOUGHTS EVER !!!!!!!

 

[rhythmic]

Just got home.

You are not fooling anyone by telling that you are not interested in a relationship. You are and that's a fact.

Wrong. I'm not interested in a relationship with anyone right now. I'm quite happily dating and screwing the amount of girls that I am.

You'd definitely hit that again if she ACCEPTED.

Yes, that's pretty much the case with any guy and a hot girl; you hit it if and when she accepts. Not rocket science.

You guys didn't BREAK UP. I am pretty sure she was the one who DUMPED you.

Slightly weird assumption to make based on your total of zero knowledge. I dumped her, when she started taking Christianity seriously. No sex 'til marriage, and I bailed. I was punching below my weight anyway - I was a little AFC when I was with her, but that was a bit much.

Why would you want to GIVE FLOWERS to her. It's the MOST AFC thing to do.

Like I said, to brighten her day. She likes flowers, and I know for a fact she isn't getting them from anyone else right now.

There is nothing you can do to make it absolutely clear that this isn't an expression of AFC interest on your part because it is CRYSTAL CLEAR. It dosen't get better than sending you EX who dumped you a bunch of flowers. Common you can do better than that. Just because her home is on the way to your work does not warrant that you send her a bunch of flowers. She's probably forgotten you by now. That's a fact. Trust me, flowers from you won't brighten her day. That's one of the most AFC THOUGHTS EVER !!!!!!!

*shaking my head*

Maybe I'm overly sentimental and not quite "alpha dog" enough for your tastes, I guess.

So ANYWAY...

Decided against flowers in the end. Would have meant going slightly out of my way, and I had a better idea anyway; I had some buddies around last night, and we got Dominos pizza. I remembered she loves the stuff, so I took her a slice of that around instead, ha.

She wasn't there. Her fairly hot (but total head****) flatmate was at home. Had a quick catch-up chat, left the pizza. Checked my phone after my workout, had like three texts from the ex

"Aw man I'm already at church!"
"You can bring it to me if you want though "
"Are you out tonight?"

Hm. Sorta hoping she isn't still interested, that might make things awkward. Will ask her later.

 

[Uncharted]

If you really want to buy someone flowers just because they are your friend and they are having a sh!t day then who cares, why ask the board about it? If she takes it the wrong way that's her problem.

Part of the DJ mindset is that you don't care what people think!

 

[rhythmic]

If you really want to buy someone flowers just because they are your friend and they are having a sh!t day then who cares, why ask the board about it? If she takes it the wrong way that's her problem.

Part of the DJ mindset is that you don't care what people think!

Yeah, I was thinking that, but by that token no-one would ever post here asking for advice.