What makes a good personality?

[ItsOnNow]

they say they like personality over looks, so how do i develop the right kind?

 

[darkme_legendary]

1.Let go of any unnecessary attachments from your past and you get in peace with it.
2.Destroy the story that you have inside your mind about what's really possible for yourself, what are u capable of etc(aka. escape social conditioning)
3.Get rid of the things that are unpleasant for other people. You are not aware of most of them.
4.Find exactly what you want from life and go for it regardless of the any external factors
5. Be happy for no reason

 

[MikeYikes122]

I'm gonna try to follow to OP's posts and help him. I know I b!tch a lot about the guys who post on here without wanting to take any action, but the OP isn't in that category. I know he is actively trying to better himself and improve as a person.

The cool thing about the place where you're at is, you're a clean slate right now. You're starting over. Basically, think of yourself as a canvas. You should wipe away your past from your mind and ignore whatever limitations you used to place on yourself. That was the old YOU and now you're embracing the new YOU. The old guy was a loser who never left the house and never took risks, so fvck him. Forget about him.

Who is this new guy?

Someone who is open to new experiences. Someone who is laidback, cool, non-judgmental and easy to get along with. You become that guy by getting into shape physically and looking good, and embracing a new identity/way of looking at the world. Also, and perhaps most importantly, you have to be willing to take yourself out of your comfort zone, because while you're current state might be a comfortable one, it's comfortable for a reason - because it's easy and convenient, not because it's the correct state of being.

The process of becoming a new person is all about having the willpower to force yourself out of your comfort zone. You have to force yourself to go to the gym or run on a day when you'd normally sit around and play video games. You have to force yourself to talk when you're in a social situation that you would have just been silent through in the past. Eventually, you have to internalize the idea that you're worthy of talking during a conversation and drawing the attention of women.

This is a long road to becoming a better person. You'll have to take steps out of your comfort zone probably everyday, but you'll get to where you need to be if you keep at it and stay determined.

I'm pulling for you man. :cheer:

 

[ItsOnNow]

That's what kills me, like this is what is really draining me, is that I have not made those changes previously, like over a long period of time. And it is hard to let it go. I mean everything, the getting in shape, going out more, I am pretty laidback as is, try to be nonjudgemental, maybe it is just mental things I need to do more of. I do go out, to work mostly though, but that only somewhat helps. I feel like being in my early 20's and feeling behind on alot, is what's killing me as well. For instance,is it seen as a "red flag" if the guy hasn't been out much, been with x amount of girls, both dating or not, and is sort of the type who still lives at home?

I mean, I try to not look back so much, but it just won't go away.

 

[WC2]

This is a pretty wide open question.

People have all kinds of different personalities depending on their lifestyle and what they want to achieve. Most of all though, the way you were raised has a huge impact on your personality. And getting out of those habits can be a challenge.

For instance, there are some guys with GREAT personalities that strike out with the ladies all the time. Great personalities don't always mean that you're liked by everyone including ladies. It means that you have a lot to offer as a person.

If you're asking this question to try to achieve success with the ladies, then you're asking a totally different question, because women don't just shoot for a guy with a personality, but a guy who has some edge and manliness to him as well.

These men don't gossip with women, but can surely hold his own conversation, and most of the time will run a conversation. He doesn't talk about things he doesn't want to. Whenever a boring subject is brought up, he'll hear it out, but change it quickly to his reality; something he is interested in. In turn by leading the conversation, he will get everyone else interested.

These men aren't afraid to say things. They aren't worrying what everyone else thinks of them, but at the same time are totally aware of how people are perceiving him. When they talk to people they look them straight in the eyes and talk loudly and clearly. When listening to people, they aren't staring at them like a puppy, but more so listening passively.

But the roots to why these men can act like this is because they have their **** together. They have ambitions they are shooting for, and have other things to worry about besides how they are looked at as individuals. I once said that the men who really don't give a ****, are the ones who get the most ladies. Well, it still seems to hold true. Those who care less of what society thinks of them continue to get ladies because they are their own man in their own right.

So I don't know, do you want an overwhelming personality? Or do you just want to be very ambitious and not give into society's censorship? It's up to you.