What I've Learned

[MikeEdward1973]

I've realized something important very recently about my dating habits.

I used to think after a date about how she reacted. I would consider if we made out, how long she stayed, how she responded to my touch, etc.

Now I'm realizing that the single most important thing to consider is not how she reacted to me, but rather, looking at myself, and was I happy and having a good time with her? If the answer is 'no,' then no matter what she said or did, it doesn't matter.

Even if she's pretty hot, and I think I have a chance of hooking up with her, if I'm not having fun when I'm with her, and I feel like it's a chess match of sorts, I'm not playing. The only women I'm pursing now are ones that I genuinely like, and look forward to seeing again.

It's not a higher bar I've set, but a different one, and it's making a big, positive difference.

 

[Warrior74]

Sounds good man. Like a wise man once said. get in where you fit in. If you are having fun with her that's what its all about. Enjoy yourself. People get caught up in ego, gotta have a 10, gotta have the popular girl, gotta have this and that and loose sight of if they actually enjoy being with the person or not. I'd rather have a cute 7 or 8 who I enjoy being with than some perfect 10 who I think is a ***** but is just arm candy and ego stroking. Of course I've never dated a 10, so take my advice with a grain of salt eh?

 

[Knight's Cross]

Good post Mike!
You are smack on the money with your comments. I have found that the single most important quality that I'm looking for in a woman is that she CONTRIBUTES something to me(builds me up). Sure I can throw in alot of effort, but if she doesn't add something to my life, and I enjoy being around her, then it will NEVER get better. I've found that the greatest relationships I had were with women that made me strive to be better, because they were good to me. Hence, it was a mutually encouraging relationship.

So often we see guys here that are so focused on game, or getting her panties off in 3 dates or less, etc. That they lose sight of what matters. Until you shift the bar as you said, you will get the same results. Drama, exhaustion, and short nonfulfilling relationships.

Bravo!

KC