"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What is your real goal?

Darth

Master Don Juan
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Are you a man? Or just a glorified animal?

Sometimes there are things people are afraid to say. I know many of you will object to this post, but if I can reach even one person, good.

It is true that getting girls is not the main issue. But what is the main issue? Screwing around until you're 80 and then waiting to die? No wife, no kids- just memories of all the sluts you hung out with.

No. The main issue is becoming a good man. A man who can't lead himself can never lead others or even get respect when dealing with others- men or women.

That means becoming a man who is proud of himself, successful in what he does, and, as corny as it may sound in 2010, operates on a moral compass that enables him to put his self-respect and pride over a one-night stand with some wh*re.

That is where true confidence comes from and that is what is missing in many men today, in our world of no rules and "anything goes." Isn't it true that if you know that you're living like as a good person, that gives you the freedom to be a badass at the appropriate time. I don't care if you confront someone who's a "virgin" or some insecure p*ssy who's slept with 100 women- NOTHING beats a man who knows the difference between right and wrong. NOTHING beats a man who has nothing to prove. Who has a moral compass that tells him WHAT he ought to do, even if it's not what he necessarily WANTS to do for himself at that moment.

Nothing beats a man who is more than a shell- a man whose life is not morally empty. More than many of these "DJ's" you read about.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mantis Toboggan

Master Don Juan
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Darth said:
Nothing beats a man who is more than a shell- a man whose life is not morally empty. More than many of these "DJ's" you read about.

"Morals" are something as vague as religion.

What are you now? 25? Well I'm 28, and probably from when I was 19 until when I was 25, my life revolved around having fun and random hookups, and one-night stands and all the things you view as "immoral". And I'm not necessarily like that anymore...Well I did have a one-nighter about 3 weeks ago...but I wouldnt consider my younger self to be immoral.

You live, you develop experience, and you grow/change. There's no universal moral compass that people should follow. And unfortunately, I seem to notice that people base their morals around what they personally can and cannot accomplish. The poor guy says "Money is the root of all evil." The sexually-frustrated say, "One night stands are wrong."

My goal is to become a better man. Through my successes and through my mistakes. I've done plenty of bad things, and there are plenty more in store. But I plan to learn from them and grow. And that's all I can ask of myself. And you, at 25 or whatever you are, aren't quite in a position in life where you can determine what a man's moral makeup should be.
 

SandHawk

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I think you're missing a very large thing here: Who are you to claim what is (morally) right or wrong? Is something moral because society believes it is? Or is it moral because you believe it? There is a very large problem with morals, and that is that claiming what is and is not moral is extremely difficult, and requires you to build a very solid basis to explain why something is moral.

To me, morality is a big issue in life. I try to build my life around certain moral viewpoints, that I believe are moral, because they are based on the life that everyone wishes for themselves. And a few things that form the foundation of self-respect and confidence. Like honesty, openness, thus no lying, no stealing. But also respecting oneself(and for instance, be able to walk away from poon to prevent degrading yourself) and protecting yourself from harm or hurt. But that doesn't mean that I believe that everyone should live by the same morals as me.

What makes a man a man are not the morals the lives by, but how well he upholds his morals. As long as he stands his ground and indeed lives up to his morals, he is a man. Because you cannot judge over my morals, you can only judge how well I uphold them.
 
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