"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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What is YOUR Definition of High Quality?

j.619

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It seems to me, in my short time on this forum, that the definition of a High Quality Woman varies greatly from DJ to DJ. I have an idea of what a HQW looks like in my mind...

-Attractive
-Submissive & cooperative (not a doormat, just fully in my frame)
-Low-maintenance
-Even-keeled (no crazy, no BPD tendencies)
-Likes to fvck, not promiscuous
Among other things that take a back seat to the traits mentioned above (educated, funny, etc)...

Let's get some detailed debate going on what you believe to be traits of a HQW. Let the brainstorming begin :rockon:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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TheException

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#1 Physically attractive
#2 Supportive - As in every thing I do. Must be supportive of my career, hobbies, etc
#3 Low Drama/Fun to actually be around

My top 3 in that order.
 

Sofomore

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Exception nailed it for me. If all three of those are in place and no other major red flags, I will pursue LTR. Especially #3.
 

SmooveMooves

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-5 sexual partners.

LOL

but seriously Op that's exactly the way I see high quality the exact of what you listed.
 

Bayne05

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A woman who respects herself more than anything and is independent. Most women are attention seekers and can't stand on their own, they always looking for men to depend on and boost their self esteem.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Turuwal

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Here's my list

1. Is sufficiently attractive that my friends wish that they were fvcking her
2. Does what I say in bed and fvcks like a porn star
3. Is not jealous of me seeing other women
4. Has her own life and is happy that I do too
5. Is well mannered enough that I could take her to a dinner with business colleagues

My primary girlfriend just happens to possess all of characteristics 1, 3, 4 and 5 but is slightly lacking in number 2, mostly due to inexperience. Apparently I am only the second guy she has had sex with, or so she says. But making a sweet, innocent girl do not-so-innocent things is fun too!

My previous girlfriend from a five-year monogamous relationship was lacking characteristics 3 and 4, and it annoyed me to no end.
 

j.619

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Turuwal said:
1. Is sufficiently attractive that my friends wish that they were fvcking her
Awesome. Thought I was the only one that felt this way. I pride myself in making my best friends envy my b1tches
 

RagingBalls

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You said it all in my behalf,
Here's a bonus.

#6. She gargles before swallowing my luv juice. Oh Yeah!
 

JoeMarron

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It depends on what a man is after. A dude looking for monogamous bliss is going to need something different than the dude looking to add another chick into his harem. According to a recent thread, most men here are interested in monogamy so I'll give my opinion on that. I agree with Colossus' thread on 10 things to look for in a wife. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=207428. Here's a few more..

-High self esteem (Perhaps one of the most important ones. A low self esteem chick won't feel that she deserves your affection and will sabotage the relationship.)
-No history of abuse
-Eager to please
-Doesn't get wasted every weekend (we all know how easy it is to get a drunk woman in bed)

This list could go on and on if I thought about it longer but it would pretty much be my individual preferences. Colossus got all of the big ones. Rollo made an excellent post on why we shouldn't get so caught up over supposed quality women http://therationalmale.com/2013/03/19/quality-women/. He makes some good point but I do believe that there can be an objective standard on what type of woman would make for a better relationship.
 

AttackFormation

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#1 - Maturity, objectively positive traits
- Doesn't treat other high quality people who give her their time like toys
- Takes responsibility for her own actions first and looks for reasons to not do so second
- Is able to see herself from a perspective other than her own and analyses the perspectives she takes
- Does not intently guilt trip, blackmail, shame, or do any other kind of emotional manipulation to other high quality people
- Understands that the reason anyone would want anyone else in their life boils down to them making the person feel good, and because of that she isn't afraid to have fun with and support me
- Is aware of her own probably biological (I say probably because I don't want to say for sure without being an expert on the subject) drives and so has a conscious line of defense against f*cking the first guy who gropes her when she's drunk or leading someone on just because he gives her attention and beta security

* I consider #1 to be my "universal" high quality traits. #2 is completely dependent on the individual guy's taste but I listed it anyway just to give my complete picture whereas I think most can agree on #1 for a serious LTR. #1's traits blend into each other. I don't expect anyone to fulfill the whole list and because of that I basically have a "show signs of being able to learn this and don't be an irredeemable nutcase" minimum instead of looking for an already "perfect" girl. I filter every female I encounter according to this. I also didn't list the obvious things that would make me disqualify a female completely, like being BPD/psychopathic/gold digger/etc.

#2 - Physicality, subjectively positive traits
- I like big girls. I mean really big girls
- Would still be pretty even if she was slim, ie. she's just femininely attractive in general, not just someone who is fat because she's a reject (the last part is what practically everyone assumes you mean when you say you like big girls, but funnily no one instantly assumes you're into the girl so ugly she couldn't be a hooker when you say you're into slim girls :D)
- More pear than apple-shaped, but not to a deformed extreme when it looks like the halves of two different people or like someone just inflated one body part; it's got to be somewhat proportionate
- Comfortable in her own skin and takes care of herself like any slim girl would other than the being really big part (ie. no smoking or bad hygiene for example)
- Not short-legged


I know... "Hey buddy, if you find this girl let me be the one to call the guinnes book of world records". Just finding the stuff from #1 would be hard enough but then you add #2 to the mix... hoo boy is it gonna take me a while :D but I guess that can be seen as a test of character.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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JoeMarron

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#2 - Physicality, subjectively positive traits
- I like big girls. I mean really big girls
- Would still be pretty even if she was slim, ie. she's just femininely attractive in general, not just someone who is fat because she's a reject (the last part is what practically everyone assumes you mean when you say you like big girls, but funnily no one instantly assumes you're into the girl so ugly she couldn't be a hooker when you say you're into slim girls )
- More pear than apple-shaped, but not to a deformed extreme when it looks like the halves of two different people or like someone just inflated one body part; it's got to be somewhat proportionate
- Comfortable in her own skin and takes care of herself like any slim girl would other than the being really big part (ie. no smoking or bad hygiene for example)
:crackup: sorry bro but I nearly choked on my drink when I read this. To each his own though. I'd like to see a pic of your physical ideal.
 

j.619

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Had another point to add to this. I was out with one of the girls I've been seeing last night. She's a confident girl, very attractive (easy 7), has very high interest in me. We were at a club that my friend owns in Downtown San Diego. For the entire time we were there, she was showing signs of high IL (we haven't hung out in that social of a setting yet, usually we hang out 1 on 1, last night we met a big group of my friends). By high IL, I mean that I was her focus for the night. She looked for me every time she was approached by dudes trying to game. Waited for me outside the restroom every time I went so she wouldn't lose me. Unsolicited PDA at the bar (kissing me, flirting with me, hugging on me, etc). Not like a desperate puppy-dog, more like she had no interest in talking to anyone else and made it obvious. She was friendly with all of my friends, but made it fully aware that she was mine for the night. I know it's a byproduct of high IL, but I considered this a great quality. I love me some loyal b1tches <3

Edit: Thought I should mention that I usually don't bring plates to the club because they always get propositioned and don't always react properly (or to my liking), and I choose to avoid it altogether. I have an appreciation for women that make it easy to bring them along for outings like that.
 

Sofomore

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Don't get fooled into thinking high IL = quality. This is a huge trap. I went out last night with one of my plates and she couldn't leave my side all night. This girl has lots of guy friends and is starting to get annoying.

Her IL is 100%, but she isn't LTR quality.
 

j.619

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Sofomore said:
Don't get fooled into thinking high IL = quality. This is a huge trap. I went out last night with one of my plates and she couldn't leave my side all night. This girl has lots of guy friends and is starting to get annoying.

Her IL is 100%, but she isn't LTR quality.
Just saying that it is a high-quality trait for me. Along the lines of submissive, but more like loyalty.
 

AttackFormation

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JoeMarron said:
:crackup: sorry bro but I nearly choked on my drink when I read this. To each his own though. I'd like to see a pic of your physical ideal.
Haha I know :D believe me I didn't choose this sh!t, if I had the genie appear and give me three wishes my first one would be "fix this fu(ked up attraction wiring my genes gave me". Maybe some assh0le back in my genetic history figured out what makes you wired a certain way and decided to fu(k with his progeny? :p

Though there is one positive to it and that's the filter it gives you. If someone can't respect your preference in a girl as long as she's happy with herself, well... there's someone you don't have to talk twice to.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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j.619

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AttackFormation said:
Haha I know :D believe me I didn't choose this sh!t, if I had the genie appear and give me three wishes my first one would be "fix this fu(ked up attraction wiring my genes gave me". Maybe some assh0le back in my genetic history figured out what makes you wired a certain way and decided to fu(k with his progeny? :p

Though there is one positive to it and that's the filter it gives you. If someone can't respect your preference in a girl as long as she's happy with herself, well... there's someone you don't have to talk twice to.
Just for reference, what would be a good celebrity reference for your body type preference? haha
 

AttackFormation

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j.619 said:
Just for reference, what would be a good celebrity reference for your body type preference? haha
I don't think there are any celebrities who I both think look good and weigh 300+ pounds ;)

Maybe this will help you, other curious guys and maybe even the odd closet case who doesn't have the guts to admit what he wants yet along :)
 

Ascension

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Ill take Salma Hayek in Desperado. High Quality to me, is attractive, sexy, intelligent, driven and loyal.
 

j.619

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AttackFormation said:
I don't think there are any celebrities who I both think look good and weigh 300+ pounds ;)

Maybe this will help you, other curious guys and maybe even the odd closet case who doesn't have the guts to admit what he wants yet along :)
Wouldn't call that my cup of tea (far from, actually), but that chick IS pretty. Can't hate on your taste, brotha.
 

JoeMarron

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AttackFormation said:
I don't think there are any celebrities who I both think look good and weigh 300+ pounds ;)

Maybe this will help you, other curious guys and maybe even the odd closet case who doesn't have the guts to admit what he wants yet along :)
Ah ok. I was expecting something extreme. From what I saw you have the physical preference of the average black dude (lol, couldn't help myself). Anyways, a man has the right to fvck and desire whatever type of woman he pleases. I imagine we'll see many more variations of what is considered high quality in this thread.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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