"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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What is wrong with me?!

search1ng

Master Don Juan
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Hey,
This is/was so stupid of me...especially on Christmas...anyway here's what happened:

So my buddy and i were driving home (i was driving him to his place) and some ute behind us comes along bearing highbeam, it was so aggravating, my car is low so even a normal beam can get in my eyes but with the high-beam my driving was really visually impaired, and to make matters worse it was a dark/quiet street.

Anyway, i get annoyed so i really reduce my speed and since it's a 1 way road, the guy is obviously getting annoyed as well. Eventually we get to a larger road and as he overtakes me he starts swearing and shaking his fists, etc. I saw at least 3 guys in the ute, his swearing suddenly annoys me and i suddenly start swearing and right back at him. (surprised myself, I'm usually able to restrain myself) Long story short then begins some reckless driving and more cursing etc. Eventually it seems these guys are going to follow us home, start something.

I started getting afraid.

If you're looking for a fight story you're not going to get one so i'm just telling you now. Anyway, i start getting afraid, and this shocks me. First of all, the fact that i stooped to that level pisses me off to no end, secondly I'm not one to shy out from a fight but this one actually scared me. (possibly because it had something to do with a car? .. i don't know...)

I just need to ask, cold approaches, getting an attractive girls number, these things don't really trouble me much, i'm not amazing or anything but i've never had enough trouble (yet) to give me some concern and through sosuave i'm always learning, but the fact that i got scared of an incident like this...

I'm 5'8 and i hit the gym and i'm not too bad physically, i've also had training in martial arts and the like, it's just... i feel dirty and ashamed, also kind of pissed off. If it was a one-on-one situation i don't think i would have cared so much...maybe i'm just trying to justify myself.

Either way, what do i do to fix this? I don't want to be a ****ing *****, it's not the kind of person i want to be.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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U

user43770

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First things first; merry Christmas. Second, get a concealed weapons permit.
 

search1ng

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Thanks for the Christmas cheer! secondly, I'd rather not go to jail and guns seem like a poor excuse for a sense of security... Is there anything... more mental? maybe i should just go and start a fight with some random people and get smashed up a little..haha
 

Mr. Sarcasm

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How about... you don't do that? Merry Christmas, btw.

Seriously, a gun might be an excellent solution, don't fool yourself into thinking you'd just be a coward with a weapon should you buy one. Just because YOU think it's cowardly to have a gun, doesn't mean THEY think so.

Look, it's better to be the one pulling the trigger than the one waiting for it to be pulled with his eyes closed.

That's just my opinion.
 

OTB

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search1ng said:
maybe i should just go and start a fight with some random people and get smashed up a little..haha
Surprisingly enough, I don't think that it would be that bad of an idea for you to do that - it would easily relieve some of the pent-up frustration you have deep inside
(just make sure you don't get caught by the police or any other local law enforcement ;) )


Have you seen the movie Fight Club?

I honestly think that watching a couple of scenes from there would help you the most in terms of where you are in life at the moment... :up:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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steve_erkle

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OTB said:
Surprisingly enough, I don't think that it would be that bad of an idea for you to do that - it would easily relieve some of the pent-up frustration you have deep inside
(just make sure you don't get caught by the police or any other local law enforcement ;) )


Have you seen the movie Fight Club?

I honestly think that watching a couple of scenes from there would help you the most in terms of where you are in life at the moment... :up:

LISTEN TO THIS MAN

Fight Club <333
 

FairShake

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I'm 27 and been in some fights. Lost a few too. Went to jail over one.

Whatever fear you may have and shame you may have about it doesn't feel as bad as your head being split open, a bat hitting your legs, and the sound of a steel cage door closing behind you.

Worry about the safety of your family, friends, and yourself. Those are the only things to fight over.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Dude, OP, read this carefully. You just learned a REAL IMPORTANT lesson. what you experienced was real fear. If there is potential for physical harm, if you DON'T feel fear, you've got big fukking problems. Feeling fear in that situation is normal and natural, and most IMPORTANTLY, don't forget exactly what it felt like. That is gods or mother natures or whoevers gift to manking to keep us from getting eaten by tigers. Anybody who tells you they aren't afraid is either lying or really messed up. NO REASON EVER for violence, unless somebody is stealing from you or hurting you.

IMPORTANT LESSON STARTS HERE

make sure you remember that feeling, that is real fear.

Any other fear, remember what THAT feels like, and you'll notice that it feels different, cold appraoches, public speaking what have you.

that is because it is MADE UP BULL$HT fear in your head, got it?

So whenever you think you feel afriad, remember that night with the headlihgts, and if that pretend fear feels nothing like the headlight, fear, you can rest assured knowing that it is fake fear, and plow through it to get whatever good stuff is on the other side.
 

thedeparted

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Yeah, don't go starting fights with random guys. You might think a gun is for wimps. They might not. If you tried to run *ME* off the road, I'd consider that a threat with a deadly weapon, as would the law.

I also carry a .357 snubby loaded with 125 grain jacketed hollow-points. That's a 97% stop-rating -- more than a .44 Magnum -- so you won't have much to worry about after that encounter.

Food for thought.
 

horaholic

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Dont start a car fight. People might pull out tire irons or something on your ass. You dont know who they were, how big they were, how many knives or guns or baseball bats they had. They might have been Hells Angels, or Navy Seals for all you know. Why would you walk into a fight, that you dont know who you're opponents are? I believe in intuition. There may have been a reason you had such bad vibes. You were on a dark, quiet road in the middle of the night. They could've slit your throat and threw you in the ditch. At least in a bar, you can see who you're dealing with, and make judgements accordingly, even though its still stupid, but at least you know what you're getting into. The gnarliest fighter I know is a small skinny dude, who has reflexes like a cat, who could land ten punches to your jaw before you you could raise your fist, and has no problem gouging eyeballs, or dropping kneecaps out if he thinks his life is in danger. Dont think for a second that hitting the gym and training martial arts, can compete with that. You did the right thing.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Levex

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Everyone loses it on the road once a while.

I almost got hit head-on by an oncoming truck cause some idiot with his music blasting wasnt looking while puffin his "black n mild" and switching lanes...and you know what...there was a finger shown and i questioned the guys sexuality in a very politically incorrect way...

I know it wasnt the right thing to do, but i just couldnt help myself, fvcker almost killed me.

As for the bright lights problem, get your windows tinted and never worry about it again.
 

search1ng

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Damn, what can i say, thanks for the advice guys - it's really helped settle some thoughts.
 

Gaucho

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Dude, OP, read this carefully. You just learned a REAL IMPORTANT lesson. what you experienced was real fear. If there is potential for physical harm, if you DON'T feel fear, you've got big fukking problems

A real life grown up on sosuave?

Seriously, get a gun? WTF answer is that. No wonder your country is so fukced up. Everyone is a hero or uses a weapon so solve a problem!

I boxed for many years, and used to **** myself everytime I walked to the ring. Fear is good. You didn't have a complete panic attack, just the fear to either highten your senses and get the blood flowing, ready to either fight or flight. I've seen one of the best fighters on the planet, run from a group of guys, he ran like the wind! Nothing wrong with that if that's what the situation calls for.
 

search1ng

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Haha, well either way, i guess i should be happy i didn't spend Christmas getting potentially beaten to a pulp.
 
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