i've been trying to improve to show people that i am more easier to talk to..
today i look at a picture of myself and someone i know and he is really cool.
i look at the picture, and i look at my own face.. i look.. my goodness..
whenever i look in the mirror myself, i look normal and i dont look all that oval faced and weird.. but whenever i look into a picture where others would see it, i look strange and i never smile when it seems like it..
and today i made my best friend in trouble, i made him trouble for calling him alot..i felt really bad
i dont know why my life turns upside down so much..
believe me, i'm in love with my Christian life.. i always do the things that would make God happy, but maybe sometimes i would sin but its hard to be perfect.
but please don't say anything about my religion or God because religion or God is not to blame.
there is really something wrong with me, something that makes me feel trapped and weird outside and on the inside i feel all emotional and outgoing.
why do i look weird in pictures that others would see? why do i feel weak everything something happens? why do i never smile when i am getting a picture taken? why cant i smile? why cant i be really seem like a great friend and why cant i have a good personality? and if you think i think too much, you're wrong, i think less than you think.
however, i think about the things i need to.
i think because i'm a human..
however, my life doesnt seem to be organized..it seems very disorganized and it's a feeling of laziness in working your whole years to organize everything..
something about my life is trapped..i really want to live emotionally and with lots of things that i want to be thankful about.
i want to be loved.
i feel very special when the people in Church talk to me. I really do.. there is nothing unspecial about them. They are all special to me.
but in school, it's different.
i also felt jealousy when i saw that i was never called cute or good looking or when i saw others being called that.
to be really honest, i have nothing against my friends or those who gets the compliments of being called what i would want.
i just dont get this tense of special when it comes to emotional things in relationships.
to tell you the truth, i'm not responsible enough to handle everything in my life.
i'm single and i just got mad at my mom on the phone because i wasted my time on the phone with my friend. i told her, don't worry, i'll pay for anything.. so i got my money out and i'm ready to pay for it. i'm repaying for all the mistakes, however the mistakes that only God can fix, i will ask Him to help me. I will ask God to help me for whatever that i cannot repay from the mistake, but i can improve.
I WANT TO IMPROVE.
everyone, i am sorry for talking like this.. this may sound confusing, but please.. please leave a response.
my biggest discouragement is feeling unspecial.
i don't have to be all that special, i want to be the same as those who are loved.
God love us all.
tactic
today i look at a picture of myself and someone i know and he is really cool.
i look at the picture, and i look at my own face.. i look.. my goodness..
whenever i look in the mirror myself, i look normal and i dont look all that oval faced and weird.. but whenever i look into a picture where others would see it, i look strange and i never smile when it seems like it..
and today i made my best friend in trouble, i made him trouble for calling him alot..i felt really bad
i dont know why my life turns upside down so much..
believe me, i'm in love with my Christian life.. i always do the things that would make God happy, but maybe sometimes i would sin but its hard to be perfect.
but please don't say anything about my religion or God because religion or God is not to blame.
there is really something wrong with me, something that makes me feel trapped and weird outside and on the inside i feel all emotional and outgoing.
why do i look weird in pictures that others would see? why do i feel weak everything something happens? why do i never smile when i am getting a picture taken? why cant i smile? why cant i be really seem like a great friend and why cant i have a good personality? and if you think i think too much, you're wrong, i think less than you think.
however, i think about the things i need to.
i think because i'm a human..
however, my life doesnt seem to be organized..it seems very disorganized and it's a feeling of laziness in working your whole years to organize everything..
something about my life is trapped..i really want to live emotionally and with lots of things that i want to be thankful about.
i want to be loved.
i feel very special when the people in Church talk to me. I really do.. there is nothing unspecial about them. They are all special to me.
but in school, it's different.
i also felt jealousy when i saw that i was never called cute or good looking or when i saw others being called that.
to be really honest, i have nothing against my friends or those who gets the compliments of being called what i would want.
i just dont get this tense of special when it comes to emotional things in relationships.
to tell you the truth, i'm not responsible enough to handle everything in my life.
i'm single and i just got mad at my mom on the phone because i wasted my time on the phone with my friend. i told her, don't worry, i'll pay for anything.. so i got my money out and i'm ready to pay for it. i'm repaying for all the mistakes, however the mistakes that only God can fix, i will ask Him to help me. I will ask God to help me for whatever that i cannot repay from the mistake, but i can improve.
I WANT TO IMPROVE.
everyone, i am sorry for talking like this.. this may sound confusing, but please.. please leave a response.
my biggest discouragement is feeling unspecial.
i don't have to be all that special, i want to be the same as those who are loved.
God love us all.
tactic