What is with her?

[apollo0002]

Hey , im very new and would like some opinion on a situation.


Theres a girl at work ( ill call her sarah )

She broke up with her boyfriend ( only boyfriend she had ) a few months back ,boyfriend cheated on her multiple times.
.She says shes very old school ( doesn't drink or smoke at all ) and tells me that she never hangs out with guys what so ever unless there her boyfriend and is very loyal .When she was giving me examples about loyalty id reply with " are you serious? " , she would say "does that mean i would be a good gf?" , she uses my nickname ALOT. I asked some of my friends who are friends with her friends and they say shes very legit and is the wife type.

When she first started at work she would initiate 90% of the conversation which lasted for over 2months and still does

Anyways we get along really well in person i make her laugh alot and usually people at work will just look at us ,she also tells me things like i might be her twin and how much were in common . We flirt ALOT ( with physical touch , i initiated the physical touch at the start but lately she's been starting but not actually touching but she will lift her arm and try to nudge me) every-time we do i see my work colleagues just smile and shake there heads , im certain a lot of pple think we like one another or thinks will be hooking up , my friends at work always says when are you going to go out with her.

She has also asked me a few times to sit next to her.When shes not at work and comes back she will jokingly ask if i missed her or if i was sad, the other day her friend randomly comes up to me and says she will be back at work tomorrow , completely out of the blue

When shes with her friend and they see me walk past her friend will usually stop talking and smile at me , or sarah will look and hold her gaze with a smile or some cheeky facial expression.


At meetings she will always sit next to me if there's space available. When she comes over and sits she sometimes comes really really close. A few times when were sitting and talking our knees or elbows will be touching and she doesn't resist or move. If im walking and shes coming the other way she will look and smile again and when were in distance she stands really close.
Shes always shows me things like what shes having for lunch , photos in her phone random items of hers. I asked her were she got her necklace from and she said it was her ex bf's she then says how stupid she was for sticking with him and how much of a **** he was , i asked if she was over him and she said yes but immediately swinged her chair to the left and faced the other way for a second which i thought was kinda sus and she was probably lying? ( this was early on when we started talking ive never mentioned anything about her ex or relationship after this )

I haven't seen her acting like this to other guys in the office , shes really nice to pple though.

So by this time im 99% she likes me , but then the other day she tells that someone at work is hitting on her which she has no interest. I tell her what to do and she replies " its really pissing me off and i don't want a boyfriend right now ". When she told me i was thinking hmmmm.

What are your thoughts here? She likes me or just being nice or ?


****I forgot to mention i spoke to my friend and he reckons that shes not over her bf and that with girls like her i should just wait *****

 

[omega05]

have you gotten her number? Have you asked her out?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

^ What Omega said.

You gotta lose this, "Does she like me?" mindset. Even if she did like you, man, it's 2012. Girls aren't going to sit around for months at a time, dreaming of some dude, waiting for him to ask her out.

She might like you. She also might like 5 other guys, since "liking" someone isn't a legal contract. So, if you "like" her, then freakin ask her to hang out.

It's like you're walking around with a check list, waiting for 40 signs that you should ask a girl out. Screw that. A simple, "Hey, I haven't been bowling in a while. You feel like coming out with me?"

Less thinky. More doey.

 

[Skalioppe]

@apollo0002 : Man, you're heading for the friend zone faster than a speeding bullet. You need to stop being a fvcking Gamma/Delta chump sh1t and escalate things.

Be confident. Crack a joke or two then say to her "You're coming for a drink with me one evening this week." She'll play along "Am I now?!" then you reaffirm. She'll love your Alpha-ness, she'll be practically fizzing at the bung.

You go for a drink, you do lots of kino and as you're alone you can test the water for a kiss / relationship or whatever you want from it.

Stop being a drip, and fvcking go for it before some other guy is fvcking her brains out - which WILL happen.

 

[apollo0002]

Thanks for the input ,

@omega05 - Nope.

@Skalioppe - We flirt alot with physical touch , she doesn't do this to anyone else. She specifically told me she doesn't just hang out with guys out side of work unless there her bf.

@Mantis Toboggan - I aint keeping a checklist who does that lol , im just explaining the situation. I can kinda tell shes very picky with guys , ALOT of guys hit on her but she rejects them , shes into all the go out with one guy and your suppose to marry him type of girl ( old fashion ).

****I forgot to mention i spoke to my friend and he reckons that shes not over her bf and that with girls like her i should just wait *****

 

[Iceberg]

****I forgot to mention i spoke to my friend and he reckons that shes not over her bf and that with girls like her i should just wait *****

There's either attraction or there isn't. It doesn't serve you to think that there's some type of time limit on when a girl can be attracted to a guy. What I mean is...she's not going to all of a sudden say, "Okay it's been 5.75 months since my breakup. I am now officially attracted to Apollo, and ready to go out on one date with him."

While you're waiting for the right moment, she's another day closer to meeting some other guy who's going to swoop in and take what you want.

And the way it sounds to me, (i hate to use a cliche) but it sounds like you have her on a pedestal. Oh, she's picky. She dates one guy at a time. Doesn't drink. Maybe you're right....but there's a HUGE difference in how you experience a girl as a friend and how you experience her as a date/boyfriend/FWB/etc. My point being....although you know her, you don't KNOW her.

And every day that passes without you making some type of move, is a day you're putting her higher on that pedestal.

 

[pdx1138]

^^agreed.

don't do co-workers. It can and most likely will end badly.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

There's either attraction or there isn't. It doesn't serve you to think that there's some type of time limit on when a girl can be attracted to a guy. What I mean is...she's not going to all of a sudden say, "Okay it's been 5.75 months since my breakup. I am now officially attracted to Apollo, and ready to go out on one date with him."

Well said and I couldn't agree more. Apollo you are making a rookie mistake by listening to everything she SAYS and taking it as verbatim. This same girl that you really honestly don't know FOR REAL (you know her co-worker persona) is the same girl that will go to Spring Break and get phucked by a dude in the bathroom who made her horny after 3 tequila shots.

The main point being, watch her ACTIONS not her words.

And the way it sounds to me, (i hate to use a cliche) but it sounds like you have her on a pedestal. Oh, she's picky. She dates one guy at a time. Doesn't drink. Maybe you're right....but there's a HUGE difference in how you experience a girl as a friend and how you experience her as a date/boyfriend/FWB/etc. My point being....although you know her, you don't KNOW her.

Another excellent point. He thinks she's the best thing since sliced bread and has completely idealized her already! What has this girl shown you that makes her wife material? She says she doesn't drink or smoke and doesn't hang out with guys she's not dating. Okay that's cool and all, but how would you even know if that's true? You wouldn't!

I'm a pretty blunt, honest poster so don't take this the wrong way, but in this whole detailed re-account you gave us I didn't see anything that made me think she really wants you; as in is attracted to you, wants to phuck you, date you etc.

What I DID see is a girl who is very comfortable with you and that is good; but without attraction being present that makes you a buddy.

Right now, your in the friend zone in my opinion and I'd also say that everything this girl has TOLD you is likely not the truth about her.


Lastly it is very clear that you are a little obsessed with this chick. Why aren't you meeting more girls?

It would help you take her off the pedestal you have her on and make you realize that she isn't as great as you think she is....







PIMP

 

[nismo-4]

Holy sh*t!

Here's what I've noticed:

1. Don't sh*t where you eat. Dating in the workplace can end bad. And not in men's favor. :nono:

2. Sarah is quite a popular name.

3. If only guys would stop overanalyzing what the f**k women do and make a f**kin' move on them, they'd know if their targets are really inerested in them! :cheer:

4. You are very near (or by now, in) the friendzone.

5. There was no attraction. Just likes. Could've used Facebook for that! :rock:

6. You are guilty of using a pedestal in the workplace.

7. Judge women by ACTIONS, NOT WORDS! :yes:

8. You are guilty of failure to escalate. Now you're gonna masturbate. Go spin more plates!

9. Sarah's going into chambers with Judge nismo, along with 3 more! Gellar, Palin, and Silverman! :crackup:

10. At this rate you will not bang her, but she'll go to her said ex and bang him!

11. Stop obsessing over this girl right now.

12. You may be dead in the water, but you're only doing it to yourself. Not making a move makes you sit alone and fantasize. Making a move can have her sit on your bone and jizz in her eyes!!!

13. Making a move and spinning more plates is the best thing that is for you. :rockon:

14. Case closed. Go for it.

 

[apollo0002]

@ all the statements about her not drinking , smoking and her personality its all been confirmed by multiple people who are close friends with her .

The reason im even asking this question although I feel like a tart doing so in the first place bug she is isn't the typical girl you would find ( yes alot of pple all say but she is different ) but to most girls Ive experience with she is. If she was the standard type i would have made a clear move alot earlier on but with this one its different.

Im making most my judgments by actions not words

At dating a co-worker , if i do end up so ill be out of the place in 2 seconds

@Pimp-sicle - What has this girl shown you that makes her wife material?:

Just from talking to her and her point of views on things , when i talk to her to my friends they all agree and shes known to be a really good girl

but without attraction being present that makes you a buddy.

Can you elaborate on that?

making a rookie mistake by listening to everything she SAYS and taking it as verbatim

I don't , Ive brushed her off so many times when she tells me things and she will give me a worried look and will always reconfirm things that she is being full serious about it and ill act like i dont believe ( when actually im just testing her )

@IceBerg

but it sounds like you have her on a pedestal. Oh, she's picky. She dates one guy at a time. Doesn't drink. Maybe you're right

Im trying to explain the type of person she is , Im confident that she doesn't think i like her, as i act like i don't and she will also engage me and worries if shes done something wrong , ive done this a few times and she will tell my friend who will later ask me whats up. She comes to me not the other way around.

 

[Jair213]

@ all the statements about her not drinking , smoking and her personality its all been confirmed by multiple people who are close friends with her .

The reason im even asking this question although I feel like a tart doing so in the first place bug she is isn't the typical girl you would find ( yes alot of pple all say but she is different ) but to most girls Ive experience with she is. If she was the standard type i would have made a clear move alot earlier on but with this one its different.

Im making most my judgments by actions not words

At dating a co-worker , if i do end up so ill be out of the place in 2 seconds

take her of the pedestal, so just because shes diferent u havent made a move? wtf is this man? you need to make a move regardless already, jeeeezzz..

see the actions for yourself not by people telling you(words)

 

[nismo-4]

OP, I told your ass to make a move! Stop looking for a magic bullet and just go for it!

If she wants you, cool. If not, oh f**kin' well.

Move your ass on to the next one.

Did you read my sticky thread and it's sequel? If not, you need to, as it covers these kinds of cases.

Acta, non verba. :cheer: