What is this?

[Crazy Asian]

I'm actually a junior in high school, but nobody is ever in that thread.

I used to be that looser that would be so afraid of talking to girls, that wouldn't make eye-contact with anyone, and that held his head down walking in the hallways. My entire sophmore year was just me trying to fit in, and trying different things to become popular. Oh god how i craved popularity.

Ever since this year started, I have worked my ass off to become better at EVERYTHING. I wanted to be 1st chair of my orchestra, i wanted to win state in swimming, and i wanted good grades as well. The funny thing is, i feel like i didn't try at all. It feels like I was trying 10X harder last year while getting nowhere, and now not even putting forth an effort, and I am getting results. Of course not the swimming and violin (I had to work hard on those), but i mean the inspiration. Before, i Hated violin and swimming, but now I am so motivated that i can't stop. I want it so bad, and i can see what I can become.

Lately, I have been becoming more and more popular. Talking to girls is not a problem anymore. So on weekends people start asking me to hang out. It was fun for a while, but now, I'm getting sick of it. It does not fulfill me as much as practicing violin for a couple of hours, and doing a better job on my homework, or figuring out how to do other things. I feel that I receive a great joy from doing these things. Of course, the "popular kids" don't invite me to their parties, but just random people that i've had a good time with in class. I like to keep my life simple. I want to work HARD on the few things that I cherish.

So i'm not sure if that was very organized or not, but I'm basically saying that I used to what popularity SO BAD. I wanted it more than anything, but now that it's slowly coming, I am not interested in it anymore. My old hobbies have reappeared and I have become inspired.

I am NOWHERE CLOSE to what I want to become. I used to think that I'm a looser, and I'm sure that I'll think that about right now a few years later. I want to improve, I want to see how far I can go, and what I can achieve.

 

[skirtChaser]

1) you're not a loser you never were

2) men have to have a balance, I you stop working on your social side you will go back to the way you were, and by the sounds of it, it was pretty sad and would say you need to keep working on your social skills. being a kid helps making changes like this easy. if you don't address it now you could end up like that for life. its more than just being popular, that only takes you so far

 

[Crazy Asian]

I am constantly working on my social skills for sure. I'm just saying that i realized that being popular wasn't as important as i thought it was, and that my life is filled with much more than that.

 

[Microfiltered]

You could just be a little more introverted than most. Or it could just be a matter of expectation. You had high expectations regarding the results of popularity and the real results just didn’t live up. Either way you might not have that great of a need to be constantly socializing which is definitely normal.

Another point is that maybe you’re not hanging out with the people you want to. You mentioned gaining popularity. But are you really hanging out with people that share the same interests as you or are you just going through the motions with the same BS small talk. IMO small talk is a waste of time. When talking to new potential friends, I try to move out of this phase as quick as possible.

It’s good that you realize your life is more then just popularity.