What is the psychology of this guy? My uncle is toxic

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#1
He's worked in the nights in a pizza making factory for a long time and when I was 18 until 2012 I was doing well in education. He retired at the end of 2017 at 65. He doesn't really know me. I'm typing this quickly so I apologise for errors.​
1) I can be a bit quiet, however, it's down to not knowing what to say, on a holiday in Germany, my uncle said when I was 18, "if you don't talk, who will marry you".​
2) He went on holiday in 2010, which he visited my house and told me in "I've got you a wife from India" in a sterile, disrespectful way.​
3) At my other uncle's house, he said, can you eat this as in to mock my cultural skills. Summer 2010.​
4) This is the absolute worst that has happened to me:​
I was at my uncle's house in 2011, he was sitting their on the sofa adjacent to me, he suddenly said "can you cook" I said "yes". Then my uncle and everyone was talking about going to the pub and he was saying he's not going to take me. Then suddenly he said to my dad "are you worried your son's not going to get a wife"..........my dad said he will. There was some more chatter and my dad said I am a man now and with he's fingers pointing, he said "look at him, he's not a man"............ Then we went home, my main uncle wasn't in the sitting room at that time. He never bothered to phone to apologise or nothing.​
5) I remember I was upstairs when he came to my house, when I came down, he called me a "scardy cat" in my language or where is that "scardy cat" in 2013.​
6) I remember when I was looking for work, he started smirking and told my father to get me a job in the factory.​
6.5) He goes to my sister to get me a job in marketing, maybe trying to mock me.​
7) At 2014 christmas party at my uncle's house, we was looking at her daughters engagement video and their was a still image of a nice looking girl and he told me why don't you go for her. So he was picking on me in front of others.​
8) When he and his wife came back from India for her daughters wedding in January 2015, he got my father and my sister a present, I noticed they did not get me anything.​
9) He came to visit my house over Christmas 2015 and he said do you have a girlfriend, I said no which he went onto say can't you get one, I said I'm not looking for one.​
10) Back in 2012 he said you do you have a girlfriend and he said why don't you go out on holidays, I was going to say I've been busy with my work, however, his wife went onto blurt, he's got no friends.​
11) Kept signalling angry to me at his house in 2014 and said beforehand "are you going to talk".​
12) Went sarcastic with son in law at the start of Christmas 2017.​

SINCE he heard/read I could be self employed, running a business with freedom, this is how he's reacted and he's son goes "you want to do this":​
13) I believe he wants a reaction or not so he goes to my sister "how much money do you earn", "are you on this money" a couple of times when he's come to my house.​

14) He said to my father "no one picks up the phone" and he didn't want to listen to my father when he says "but everyone is working" I got bullied by another uncle at a Christmas party because he just believed I don't pick up the phone.​

15) He came the other day to my house and he said to my sister "its your house(to my sister), so are you going sell the house and get a percentage back?"-isn't it shared 50/50 with my sister? I feel he could bully me in front of my other uncle's saying "it's my sister's house" and they'll join in.

He just hasn't bothered to even say "what am I doing" "what am I up to" or "what is my plans" for the last 16 months since he's seen me 13 times.

I went to a counsellor and another one and they said most likely "he doesn't think I can start my career in my late 20s or be a success" or even self employed you cannot do it"-that's what this guy thinks. It's just basically his way of doing things or the highway.

Can anyone give as to why he would behave this way towards me? Was he back then in the earlier points I made jealous of my life that I have it easier, more comfortable? Is he unhappy? It seems he is stepping up a gear taking a dig at me right now. He is fearful of being the black sheep?
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
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#2
Do you know anything about his relationship with his own father? If his own dad treated him the same way as he treats you, he may see that as appropriate male role modeling, as in he thinks he will make you stronger by being a jerk to you.
 
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#3
I'm not sure to be honest but thanks for your reply.

As you've read he seems like as @sshole and a right so and so. I'll never know whats going behind the surface but I presume he has to be an unhappy, inferior person to treat me like this or just has problems with other men. He is prejudice against dark skinned people and some other ethnic groups.

My dad is seen bottom of the pile unfortunately.
 
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#4
Also his wife cut me out of the camera on two family parties in the last year.

Her husband(him) is sarcastic and I highly doubt will ever ask how's it going.

I believe they just want me to continue being the black sheep and dominating me.

It goes to my other aunties, uncles they won't ask how it's going and they think I just can't be very successful just average.

I've been shy, quiet all my life.
 

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brixlingo

Senior Don Juan
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#6
He's worked in the nights in a pizza making factory for a long time and when I was 18 until 2012 I was doing well in education. He retired at the end of 2017 at 65. He doesn't really know me. I'm typing this quickly so I apologise for errors.​
1) I can be a bit quiet, however, it's down to not knowing what to say, on a holiday in Germany, my uncle said when I was 18, "if you don't talk, who will marry you".​
2) He went on holiday in 2010, which he visited my house and told me in "I've got you a wife from India" in a sterile, disrespectful way.​
3) At my other uncle's house, he said, can you eat this as in to mock my cultural skills. Summer 2010.​
4) This is the absolute worst that has happened to me:​
I was at my uncle's house in 2011, he was sitting their on the sofa adjacent to me, he suddenly said "can you cook" I said "yes". Then my uncle and everyone was talking about going to the pub and he was saying he's not going to take me. Then suddenly he said to my dad "are you worried your son's not going to get a wife"..........my dad said he will. There was some more chatter and my dad said I am a man now and with he's fingers pointing, he said "look at him, he's not a man"............ Then we went home, my main uncle wasn't in the sitting room at that time. He never bothered to phone to apologise or nothing.​
5) I remember I was upstairs when he came to my house, when I came down, he called me a "scardy cat" in my language or where is that "scardy cat" in 2013.​
6) I remember when I was looking for work, he started smirking and told my father to get me a job in the factory.​
6.5) He goes to my sister to get me a job in marketing, maybe trying to mock me.​
7) At 2014 christmas party at my uncle's house, we was looking at her daughters engagement video and their was a still image of a nice looking girl and he told me why don't you go for her. So he was picking on me in front of others.​
8) When he and his wife came back from India for her daughters wedding in January 2015, he got my father and my sister a present, I noticed they did not get me anything.​
9) He came to visit my house over Christmas 2015 and he said do you have a girlfriend, I said no which he went onto say can't you get one, I said I'm not looking for one.​
10) Back in 2012 he said you do you have a girlfriend and he said why don't you go out on holidays, I was going to say I've been busy with my work, however, his wife went onto blurt, he's got no friends.​
11) Kept signalling angry to me at his house in 2014 and said beforehand "are you going to talk".​
12) Went sarcastic with son in law at the start of Christmas 2017.​

SINCE he heard/read I could be self employed, running a business with freedom, this is how he's reacted and he's son goes "you want to do this":​
13) I believe he wants a reaction or not so he goes to my sister "how much money do you earn", "are you on this money" a couple of times when he's come to my house.​

14) He said to my father "no one picks up the phone" and he didn't want to listen to my father when he says "but everyone is working" I got bullied by another uncle at a Christmas party because he just believed I don't pick up the phone.​

15) He came the other day to my house and he said to my sister "its your house(to my sister), so are you going sell the house and get a percentage back?"-isn't it shared 50/50 with my sister? I feel he could bully me in front of my other uncle's saying "it's my sister's house" and they'll join in.

He just hasn't bothered to even say "what am I doing" "what am I up to" or "what is my plans" for the last 16 months since he's seen me 13 times.

I went to a counsellor and another one and they said most likely "he doesn't think I can start my career in my late 20s or be a success" or even self employed you cannot do it"-that's what this guy thinks. It's just basically his way of doing things or the highway.

Can anyone give as to why he would behave this way towards me? Was he back then in the earlier points I made jealous of my life that I have it easier, more comfortable? Is he unhappy? It seems he is stepping up a gear taking a dig at me right now. He is fearful of being the black sheep?
This is a gift from life. It is like a weight pushing against you telling you “HA you can’t lift me why even try!”. Until you train, day in and day out. Then you shove back and say “that’s it?”. Life is nudging you to be stronger.
 
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