"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

What is the next step?

Pumped

New Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2003
Messages
2
Reaction score
0
Basically I am a guy who made all the classical AFC mistakes with a girl last year. Listened to her problems, gave her heaps of attention when she was going through a rough breakup with her ex etc.

This year I have approached things way differently. I have given her no attention and ignored emails she has sent me. I have not once gone to her, she has come to me every time. She has even gone so far as to apologise to me via txt msg when she has done something wrong which she thinks has offended me.

Me ignoring her has driven her crazy. She has come over to my place at the drop of a hat and has shown signs of jealousy when she found out I was dating another girl. She must have some sort of interest level in me if she is doing these things I would say.

Last week I actually called her out on her poor behaviour of dumping her problems on other people and bringing them down. She was wondering why a couple of ex workmates didn't contact her anymore and I said this was the reason why and the reason why I hadn't been spending much time with her lately. She broke down into tears upon hearing this and was very pissed off at me for the next two days.

I see this girl as a challenge and although I am seeing other girls am wondering if I can end up getting her. My not giving her attention anymore and calling her out on poor behaviour she shows has me firmly in control of the situation now, reversing the roles from last year. Wondering what I should do next here - continue with what I am doing or try a different tact?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

mrExtreme

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 5, 2003
Messages
45
Reaction score
0
That's good that you are showing her that you aren't her doormat anymore, but be careful, and don't over do things here by being too much of a jerk. In my opinion, you took things a little too far when you made her cry, it's not necessary to do that. From your post you haven't mentioned anything she's done to you to warrant such an action. Now that she's coming to you, you should ask her out if you still want to get with her. That will be the true test of her IL. Good luck.
 

xblitz44x

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2002
Messages
1,606
Reaction score
13
Age
46
Personally you sound like a jackass to me. You changed your behavior around and are less compassionate just because she won't sleep with you? You think that criticizing her for talking to other people about her problems is going to make her fall in love with you? It sounds to me that you'd rather hurt her so that she apologizes and shows that she cares about her relationship with you, rather than help her and treat her right.. That tells me that you really don't care about her, you just want her to care about you. Sounds like you have an issue there. If you truely cared about her, and were secure with yourself, you wouldn't have to resort to bringing her down.

"My not giving her attention anymore and calling her out on poor behaviour she shows has me firmly in control of the situation now, reversing the roles from last year."

If you were 'firmly in control' you wouldn't be here asking us how you can finally hook up with a chick after an entire year. The only thing you're in control of, is making her feel bad when you want to...and that seems to be enough to get you off.

-Blitz
 
Top