What is the best way to go about this?

[Mr. Goods]

A week before I graduated college, I met a HB9 through some mutual friends. I didn't get a chance to hang out with her much (just twice in a group), so while we hit it off and got along well, nothing really developed. She's smart and cool, but not the most smooth. The second time I ran into her, I opened with a great line that made her laugh...and then she walked away. I was somewhat confused, but thought it was funny (Girls normally do that when they don't like you, but her and I got along fine so I didn't know what to think of it). One of our mutual friends was nearby and explained how she's a fun person, but is not the most socially confident person either and doesn't completely open up until she knows someone well (she's shy). No big deal. I only knew her for less than a week and saw her twice. This makes what happened recently more interesting.

Last week, she wrote a "happy birthday" note on my Facebook wall. Using my DJ tip, I thanked her and asked how her summer was going. To my surprise, she was eager to respond and appeared interested in finding out what I was up to. Twice in our correspondence, she mentioned how things by her are "so boring" and really emphasized this point the second time. I took this as a hint and suggested we hang out once she's back from a week-long family vacation (I discovered she lives just over half an hour from me, so we're not far apart).

She agreed and will let me know her plans when she is back home. Through past experience, this usually means I'll still need to start where we left off and come up with something to do (guys usually take the initiative). She will be back by the end of the weekend, so I'll hit her up a couple days after (on Facebook PM...I will get her number when I come up with a plan on what to do with her). That's where I come to you. With all things considered, I'm not sure what the best approach would be.

The two choices are a one-on-one or a group setting. Normally, I opt for the actual date, but I don't know her very well and only saw her twice a month ago. The group setting could be a weekly "Trivia Night" at a popular bar located between our towns. Me and a few of my friends can have fun with her and some of her friends. Considering that she's a little shy, perhaps this will be an easier transition? The one-on-one would be a date of some sort.

What do you guys think? Any suggestions?

 

[Mr. Goods]

Any thoughts? The reason I made this post is because I usually prefer the one-on-one setting, as that situation is a date. However, given the circumstances here, the initial group setting may be better.

 

[Mr. Goods]

I know it's a bit pushy to bump this again, but any advice on this post would be appreciated. I want to make sure I take the best course of action in this circumstance.

 

[combustiont]

First I want to know what you think.

Then, if you want my opinion, i'll share.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

ive found i often at heart know the answers myself already tbh, its just my insecurity making me overanalyze things. i dont think im experienced enough to give you a good response to your question, i will if you want but there is better advice than mine out there.

 

[Jeffst1980]

Always go for one-on-one. Most girls won't accept a group date if they are interested in YOU. If she's shy, why would she want the pressure of all those people watching you two?

Besides, asking for a group date is not a confident way to ask out a girl. You should be much bolder i.e. "I'm going to ____ next week and I want to take you. You are going to love it!"

This communicates to her that you are someone that is used to calling the shots, and that women love you for it. It would be more effective to do this over the phone, but if she's interested in you, a facebook message will work as well.

 

[Mr. Goods]

Combustiont - I really don't understand your logic here. You can't hold your opinion for ransom.

AFCtoDJ - Don't worry about it. You make a good point that your gut instinct is often correct though. In this case, I'm really not sure what is correct.

Jeffst1980 - You raise a good point. Normally, I think along the same lines, preferring the one-on-one. Some arguments for both scenerios though, I'm not sure which one to pursue:

GROUP DATE:This is likely to be a Trivia Night at a bar between our towns. The advantages are that, for a girl who is a little shy, having more people around (including some of her friends), may bring her out of her shell. Remember, we never really hung out at school, so I don't know her very well. This can be more of a transition. For me, my friends can help wing me. The disadvantages of this, as you said, are that it's not as bold. Also, a group date invites more things to go wrong. My friends may rag on me too much. Her friends may be co*kblocks or complain if they're not having a good time.

ONE-ON-ONE DATE - The more straightforward action. I'd find a place to take her out to and hope that things go well. The advantages are that it's just me and her, I'm in total control, and she'll really get to know me. Also, it would certainly be a date, no way around it. The disadvantage are that I don't know her as well...does going straight to a one-on-one date be going too fast, as it's not gradual? She is a little shy, so I'm not sure what her comfort level would be.

What do you think?

 

[zekko]

I agree with Jeffst1980. If she's shy she would most likely prefer the one on one to a group setting. Plus the idea is generally to isolate anyway. I don't see any advantage to the group date whatsoever.

 

[Mr. Goods]

I agree with Jeffst1980. If she's shy she would most likely prefer the one on one to a group setting. Plus the idea is generally to isolate anyway. I don't see any advantage to the group date whatsoever.

IMO, the main advantages of a group date are that it helps break awkward silences and your friends COULD wingman you (but that is a big IF; they could also try hitting on your girl!).

Anyway, the one-on-one date does seem to be better, I agree with you and Jeffst1980. The only concern I have is that we don't know each other very well. As I mentioned earlier, I saw her twice at school a month ago, neither for a very long time.