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What is she doing here?

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
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Background: this girl and I fight all the time. It's her up and down drama. I've been told a thousand times in the last 8 months that she's blocking me, don't ever text her again, etc. She ends up texting back within days or hours and we make up. Longest we went without talking was 12 days after a major fight. Usually it's a day or two. Most of the time hours.

Long story short we were supposed to meet up in Oklahoma for her to introduce me to her family at the reunion. She told them I was coming, I bought the ticket. I've been trying to get her to come back for a few months, she left town to go see her family like she usually does every year but stayed longer due to issues she has in her life. She ended up having to go to court for her step son's BS from her ex husband.

We fought, I told her she needs to show me that she is coming back and put effort into the relationship, show me by having me fly down to Florida to see her, etc. She came back saying you call me names, blah blah blah, that's how you really feel about me, I'm staying here, blah blah blah, these are my terms, your gf needs to move out 3 months before I come back if I'm really the one you want and I'm your real gf and you need to prove she hasn't been back before I come back. I'm blocking you, no need to reply...(except how would I respond to her terms if she blocked me...she never does, it's the same pattern over and over again...).

So I didn't respond. Next day she pretends to send me accidental texts intended for her lady friend based on the wording about how she'll be fine, she always is, blah blah blah, thanks for the soup. It was three texts several minutes apart to bait me to text. I didn't.

Third day she finally sends me a long text saying she is sorry for her stuff but what about my stuff, she does really love me obviously, etc. She wants my gf gone before she comes back etc. I didn't respond...

So she sends me an email 8 hours after that (because she thinks I blocked her, I have told her I would before) telling me fine you win, I have to go do this court thing which is why I'm flaking on this thing, why don't you have your gf move out and then fly down and drive me back (yet she could have come and seen me when she had nothing else going on, she suggested dates even on her own but she didn't because she said she felt like I was going to **** her for a week then say it's not going to work. I told her I already ****ed her for 3 months when she was here, I want her long term...

NOTE: I ignored her for 3 days and she kept reaching out daily after claiming goodbye, she was blocking me, yet giving me her terms. Then she kept reaching out over those three days and with each message she was more submissive...went back on her terms...said she would do things my way once we drive back together.

SO I told her I want her to come here to see me first since I don't want to wait another three months only to have her flake again. That I wouldn't buy another ticket to fly to her and drive back with her until then (I got most of that money back). I told her that I'd give her the money for her ticket when she arrives and pay her expenses while here. She had offered proof of the court order in her email so I said sure let's see it. I also told her that if she can't come and see me first this is goodbye, because I don't tolerate flakiness, that I don't want to talk anymore unless it's about when to pick her up at the airport, etc.

That was 48 hours ago. Not a peep since then. Either she is ghosting me back because I ghosted her for 3 days or she is waiting to see if I chase her, which she likes (she told me before). I don't think it's over, we've had FAR FAR worse arguments and always end up back together talking. But I'm debating if she'll reach out again or if I should and if so, what to say.

Everyone of my friends says she'll reach out again, she always does. Although I broke no contact once when it was my **** up. It brought us closer together. She knows I'm way better than her and have options. I doubt she will walk away so easily. I'm trying to figure out what is going on in her head and what she is trying to do by not responding and how to play it.

Mind you, I have been no angel. I was hard on her emotionally, lied, and she doesn't like that I am sleeping with another woman who lives with me. She is jealous of her, it's obvious, it comes up a lot. She wants her gone before she comes back.
 
Last edited:

sazc

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This is some GOOD drama!

so you currently live with a girlfriend? But she needs to move out for this new girlfriend will take you seriously?

Ummmm wut?
 

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
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This is some GOOD drama!

so you currently live with a girlfriend? But she needs to move out for this new girlfriend will take you seriously?

Ummmm wut?
Yes, and she suspected it while we were dating the first three months, never stayed out late, sex in bathrooms, cars, never hung out on the weekends. She kept confronting me about it for months, then said she already knows and promises not to leave just wanted me to tell her the truth. So I told her. It's been a hangup for her. It comes up a lot that I have another woman. She asks when I'm having her move out constantly. Except I had her moving out and showed her proof. She left for Florida instead to help her friend have her baby (I've met her friend) instead of coming back like she said.

Like I said I'm no angel either. I went to Vegas with my main gf instead of going to see her a few months ago. But she's had plenty of opportunity to come see me, even suggested dates but never came, just stayed at her parents (I talked to her mom and sister, that's legit). Thing is no matter how much I put her through, she still stays. We end up reconnecting and making up. In this case she took a hard stance with an ultimatum about my live in being out for 3 months before she comes back (despite the fact the last argument a week before she said she was coming back at the end of June) then when I ignored her this last time she got more submissive with each text over a few days. I didn't respond. She kept giving more concessions and being more submissive with each ignored text. Finally she said fine you win, we'll do things your way when you fly down here and drive back with me. I told her to come here to see me before I book another flight to see her. That I don't want to talk unless it's about when to pick her up. I'm 99% certain it's not over. We've had far worse arguments. She always says she'll block me and she never does. Including this time.

I'm thinking of either waiting her out, or telling her that I figured she wouldn't do things my way like she claimed she would, or just apologizing and saying I understand her hang up, it's not lost on me, but we need to work out a plan for her to come back. She wants me to make her move out and be out for a while before she comes back.

Not sure if she is ghosting me because I ghosted her for a few days or if she's testing me to see if I buckle (like she did with each text).
 
Joined
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Background: this girl and I fight all the time. It's her up and down drama. I've been told a thousand times in the last 8 months that she's blocking me, don't ever text her again, etc. She ends up texting back within days or hours and we make up. Longest we went without talking was 12 days after a major fight. Usually it's a day or two. Most of the time hours.

Long story short we were supposed to meet up in Oklahoma for her to introduce me to her family at the reunion. She told them I was coming, I bought the ticket. I've been trying to get her to come back for a few months, she left town to go see her family like she usually does every year but stayed longer due to issues she has in her life. She ended up having to go to court for her step son's BS from her ex husband.

We fought, I told her she needs to show me that she is coming back and put effort into the relationship, show me by having me fly down to Florida to see her, etc. She came back saying you call me names, blah blah blah, that's how you really feel about me, I'm staying here, blah blah blah, these are my terms, your gf needs to move out 3 months before I come back if I'm really the one you want and I'm your real gf and you need to prove she hasn't been back before I come back. I'm blocking you, no need to reply...(except how would I respond to her terms if she blocked me...she never does, it's the same pattern over and over again...).

So I didn't respond. Next day she pretends to send me accidental texts intended for her lady friend based on the wording about how she'll be fine, she always is, blah blah blah, thanks for the soup. It was three texts several minutes apart to bait me to text. I didn't.

Third day she finally sends me a long text saying she is sorry for her stuff but what about my stuff, she does really love me obviously, etc. She wants my gf gone before she comes back etc. I didn't respond...

So she sends me an email 8 hours after that (because she thinks I blocked her, I have told her I would before) telling me fine you win, I have to go do this court thing which is why I'm flaking on this thing, why don't you have your gf move out and then fly down and drive me back (yet she could have come and seen me when she had nothing else going on, she suggested dates even on her own but she didn't because she said she felt like I was going to **** her for a week then say it's not going to work. I told her I already ****ed her for 3 months when she was here, I want her long term...

NOTE: I ignored her for 3 days and she kept reaching out daily after claiming goodbye, she was blocking me, yet giving me her terms. Then she kept reaching out over those three days and with each message she was more submissive...went back on her terms...said she would do things my way once we drive back together.

SO I told her I want her to come here to see me first since I don't want to wait another three months only to have her flake again. That I wouldn't buy another ticket to fly to her and drive back with her until then (I got most of that money back). I told her that I'd give her the money for her ticket when she arrives and pay her expenses while here. She had offered proof of the court order in her email so I said sure let's see it. I also told her that if she can't come and see me first this is goodbye, because I don't tolerate flakiness, that I don't want to talk anymore unless it's about when to pick her up at the airport, etc.

That was 48 hours ago. Not a peep since then. Either she is ghosting me back because I ghosted her for 3 days or she is waiting to see if I chase her, which she likes (she told me before). I don't think it's over, we've had FAR FAR worse arguments and always end up back together talking. But I'm debating if she'll reach out again or if I should and if so, what to say.

Everyone of my friends says she'll reach out again, she always does. Although I broke no contact once when it was my **** up. It brought us closer together. She knows I'm way better than her and have options. I doubt she will walk away so easily. I'm trying to figure out what is going on in her head and what she is trying to do by not responding and how to play it.

Mind you, I have been no angel. I was hard on her emotionally, lied, and she doesn't like that I am sleeping with another woman who lives with me. She is jealous of her, it's obvious, it comes up a lot. She wants her gone before she comes back.
I'd rather jack-off for the rest of my life. Why do you entertain this bull****? It's just *****.
 

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
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I'd rather jack-off for the rest of my life. Why do you entertain this bull****? It's just *****.
She's hot, great in bed and honestly...everyone who knows our situation tells me they think we both like the drama. She even told me one time that she thinks it's sexy when I go off on her ****. Ultimately though I need to see her either here or elsewhere again to pump her a few more times. My life is pretty stable so I enjoy the ups and downs and so does she. But my goal now is to get to **** her a few more times. She was way different when she was here.
 
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If you're just trying to **** her, why are you worried about any of this? Are you sure you aren't deep into your feelings about her?
 

jnMissouri

Master Don Juan
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So oddly enough she texted me last night at both of my numbers right when I was about to text her (we do that a lot). Basically saying she is done with life, she caught up with old friends and now she is just done, sorry she hurt me, she'll see me on the cosmic, etc.

I told her it sounded like she was going to kill herself, told her to think of her daughter, etc. She said her daughter will live well off her life insurance (which I don't think she has, she doesn't even have a job or health insurance). Texted back and forth a bit, tried to call her repeatedly. Never heard back after that. I think it's possible she did it, but it's also possibly a ploy for attention. I'm not blocked, the phone kept ringing, which I know it won't do when you're blocked (tested it with a friend).

Either she did it or it's a ploy for attention to get me talking to her again because I had said I didn't want to talk anymore unless it was about her coming back. I think it's more likely a ploy for attention though possible she really did it.
 

jnMissouri

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If you're just trying to **** her, why are you worried about any of this? Are you sure you aren't deep into your feelings about her?
Yeah I'm sure. I already ****ed her on the regular when she was here. I fell for her. Usually I cast my side pieces away when they start to get serious. Not this one, I actually love/loved her whatever.
 

jnMissouri

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She's still alive, it was a ploy to get me to talk to her again. I told her you can only pull that one time...
 

bacchus

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Buddy, I’d be surprised if this chick doesn’t try to ruin your life.

If she contacted your main girlfriend and told her what you’ve been up to, and your main left you, would you be ok with it?
 

Epic Days

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Hahahahahahaha
 

SeekerOfTheWay

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She sounds like a classic narcissist and you’re one of her supplies. The drama will kill you.
 
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