What is it?

[zekko]

What is it about being good with women that causes guys to look down on everyone who isn't good with women to such an extent? This phenomenon seems unique to this community.

If you read a guitar forum, the guys who are good at guitar don't look at the guys who don't play as lesser human beings. They certainly don't have a large variety of names they call them to emasculate them.

But to those in the community, the guys who aren't good with women are called incels, betas, beta phaggots, AFCs, chodes, herberts, cucks, and other unflattering terms. They are looked upon as little more than worms that crawl upon the earth, and blame them for all the woes of the world.

I can't think of another skillset group that does this.

 

[Robert28]

Because those that are good with women act like it’s easy. I used to suck major ass when it came to women, figured the nicer you were the better results you’d get. I had to unlearn a lot of bad habits and still get bit by some every now and then. You ever notice the millionaires that had to work for their millions compared to those that inherited it? Similar situation. I am smart enough to know I’ll neber be an expert on women and have a 100% success rate. Even 90%.

 

[RickTheToad]

As with anything in life, we all learn with practice and experience. The more we learn and follow the teachings, the better we become.

 

[Serenity]

It's definitely insecurity, the problem most guys on here started out with, but not everyone purged from themselves completely. It just takes a different form while the root of the problem still remains. As Pook would have described it, they went from nice guys to assh0les, but haven't progressed from there.

They aren't secure enough in themselves to not feel the need to prove themselves for others. They do so in communities such as this, where they know there's other less advanced than themselves. They look down on others for their own sense of pride and accomplishment, to feel good about being better than "those guys". They wish to project authority and dominance, but it's really just a facade to cover up their insecurity. I see it as insecurity, most people see it as insecurity, the more a person tries to project authority, the more insecure they actually come across. It will fool some people who are less self-reflected and unaware of these things, but most people will simply ignore them.

You will find these assh0les in pretty much every community, but most other communities don't tolerate it so they shut it out (ban). It's not unique to this community, it's just that the nature of the topic (how it involves deeply personal topics) combined with the fact that we have a high tolerance for such sh!tty attitudes means there's more of them here. Most other forums or platforms would straight up ban such unconstructive users, leaving a healthy community of open minded participants discussing and solving problems rationally, rather than lashing out with derogatory names and generally looking down on others. All the constructive forces here are hindered by their presence as we waste our energy arguing with people who don't give a sh!t.

 

[samspade]

Yeah, if you were in high school you wouldn't berate someone for being in first grade. I also liken it to a teenager or young adolescent first realizing things like that there might not be a God or that government isn't always "good." So armed with this new realization, they become self-righteous and provocative with parents and teachers. They've learned one truth but haven't gained real experience to understand nuance. (Ask them about bands they hate and you'll get a good understanding of how they really see the world.)

I'm still learning and asking for advice here. I'll listen to all sides, but when people start invoking mythological creatures like chads, incels, and cucks, I take it with a grain of salt. Not saying these types don't exist, but it's lazy thinking. Like there's a white dude with a popped collar and Hugo Boss cologne lurking around every corner ready to pounce and no woman can resist him. Honestly, when did DJs and PUAs become so paranoid, that's what I want to know.

 

[Dr.Suave]

IRL a lot of these AFCs are major ****blockers. But in here, most member do not have it coming being looked down upon or called names.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

What is it about being good with women that causes guys to look down on everyone who isn't good with women to such an extent? This phenomenon seems unique to this community.

If you read a guitar forum, the guys who are good at guitar don't look at the guys who don't play as lesser human beings. They certainly don't have a large variety of names they call them to emasculate them.

Skills at something like guitar are much more objective.

Guys with mad lady killing skills can STILL have a ton of internal issues.

Anything involving money and sex will necessarily involving handling a lot of DEEP inner game issues.

That means it's easy to still achieve a little bit of external, seemingly objective success, WITHOUT ever addressing those deep inner game issues.

In a sense, dudes that are ostensibly good with women still tend to project their inner game issues onto others.

Which is an indication that they are only good with women on a superficial level, one that doesn't quite satisfy their deep inner needs.

Which is VERY EASY these days since most people are internally f*cked up, most especially the type of gals these guys are allegedly "good" with.

I'd imagine if you went to some religious or other old school marriage forum, you'd find guys more like you'd find on the guitar forums. A lot less externalizing of deeper unresolved inner game issues.

 

[AJ84]

I notice that whenever a guy posts about a successful date with a hot girl he is warned to relax, or watch for red flags or is ridiculed for being happy to have a hot chick who shows interest, but isn’t that the whole goal here lol.

If she’s happy to see him - beware, signs of high interest can mean she’s trying to trap him!! That kind of thing lol.

Comes off as butt hurt. Be happy for the guys who are learning and having some success and want to share it here.

If guys are deterred from sharing stories and asking questions because they will be ridiculed then the site will devolve into another Return of Kings website, full of sad bitter men sharing woman hating theories.

 

[zekko]

I've heard some guys say that when posters here show disdain and contempt for AFCs, they are really hating on their former selves, because they despise how weak they used to be, and the mistakes that they made. That makes sense. And I can also understand some resentment toward white knight types and feminist enablers.

But I've always thought this forum held too much contempt for guys outside the community. The odd thing is, the guys who are supposedly the best with women are the guys who will tell you that women are not important, and shouldn't be a big focus of your life. And yet, the view remains that guys who don't do well with women are among the lowest forms of humanity. Which is odd, if women aren't supposed to be that important.

 

[samspade]

I notice that whenever a guy posts about a successful date with a hot girl he is warned to relax, or watch for red flags or is ridiculed for being happy to have a hot chick who shows interest, but isn’t that the whole goal here lol.

If she’s happy to see him - beware, signs of high interest can mean she’s trying to trap him!! That kind of thing lol.

Comes off as butt hurt. Be happy for the guys who are learning and having some success and want to share it here.

If guys are deterred from sharing stories and asking questions because they will be ridiculed then the site will devolve into another Return of Kings website, full of sad bitter men sharing woman hating theories.

My favorite: "Would George Clooney or Brad Pitt get all excited about a first date?" Or invoking their names in any circumstance posted about here. Uh, George Clooney wouldn't be on here giving advice, let alone asking for it. He probably doesn't even ask his friend Brad Pitt for advice.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Because it’s related to manliness and to social skills. As a man, one wants to be the most dominant, and be at the top of the hierarchy, and you don’t want anyone to dethrone you, so to speak.

Plus, they have such a strong hatred towards when they used to be bad with chicks that it’s just a sort of defense mechanism like ‘haha yeah I was never like that heh... heh... heh.......’ *looks around anxiously while secretly wondering if other view then the same way*, almost like fitting in socially. No one wants to be the weird guy or the outcast. Plus, people always make fun of socially different guy. It’s very likely that they were made fun of too and this is just their way of getting back at the world when it made fun of them.

And possibly the biggest reason is because a lot of white knights are so stubborn that they can’t possibly believe that they’re wrong in their approach to getting laid, so as a defense mechanism they’ll insult the dude who gives them advice. It’s just a way to save his masculinity and ego.

 

[samspade]

Everyone always brings up George Clooney or Brad Pitt.... the most handsome, millionaire, movie stars.... to make this counterpoint, because it's the only way to make it sound absurd that such a successful guy would be here.

No one ever says, "A blue collar guy from Brooklyn with a nice physique, charm and some game would never be on here giving advice".

Why not?

I've never seen the counter point made before but...it's because that's not what people are saying to begin with. They're saying WWGCD. No point, no counterpoint. George Clooney also does not equal "blue collar Brooklyn guy with some game."

I get the rationale behind it, which is to try to adopt the right mindset. I just always thought it was a half-a$$ed way to teach game. Asking rhetorically what top earning movie stars would do doesn't offer up practical advice. If someone asks for financial advice I wouldn't say "does Jeff Bezos worry about paying bills?"

Maybe I misunderstood your post though, I'm not sure.

 

[AJ84]

You understand that anyone who bothers making a post about a first date is seriously overinvesting his mental.energy in that first date? That's why we tell these guys to slow tf down, because we have experience. Has ZERO to.do with ROK or anything like that. Try to be smarter rather than just "gotcha" comment spamming every thread, thanks!

I don’t know it does seem like there’s some doomsday warnings peppered with biological survival gender theories from before the Common Era.

Not to say that caution shouldn’t be advised, of course, but it does seem to lean more towards the paranoid. And that comes from experience I know, if someone has had crappy experiences they want to advise people but I also notice that people find what they look for, and if all someone looks for is the potential for things to go bad, then it’s easy to always ‘find’ that.

 

[AJ84]

My favorite: "Would George Clooney or Brad Pitt get all excited about a first date?" Or invoking their names in any circumstance posted about here. Uh, George Clooney wouldn't be on here giving advice, let alone asking for it. He probably doesn't even ask his friend Brad Pitt for advice.

Hahaha. The next time I face a relationship issue I’m going to ask myself, “What would Adriana Lima do?”

 

[17 shots]

I don't agree that this doesn't happen in other areas of skill... you guys must have never played a pick up game of basketball. If you're trash, someone will let you know lol

You would think it would happen less in this area though, because picking up women isn't a team sport

 

[HankHill]

Like in most aspects of life people go through three phases...I'll use money as an example:

1. People who aren't rich; some are working towards that goal, others are complaining they'll never have money.
2. People who aren't rich yet but have acquired some money; they however often want to look like they're rich, driving fancy cars, wearing fancy jewelry just to impress others while going into debt.
3. People who are rich; they don't show off nor really talk about it unless specifically you ask for their advice, opinion etc.

Likewise there are some here who aren't good yet (some of them try to improve, others just complain), then we have those who have some success but show off as if they're the real deal, these are the types we often see here. Finally we have those who actually have figured out the game (or at least to the point it works for them) and only chime in when they feel they can share their knowledge...though they don't post often because it gets tiring to repeat the same stuff and the return on investment is really zero other than as a public service.

 

[Mazer]

I've heard some guys say that when posters here show disdain and contempt for AFCs, they are really hating on their former selves, because they despise how weak they used to be, and the mistakes that they made.

Spot on.

 

[zekko]

You also seriously misinterpreted some of the tough love statements like AFC and Beta, those are often just descriptions not judgmental.

Of course they're often just descriptions, but they're also often used judgmentally.

I don't agree that this doesn't happen in other areas of skill... you guys must have never played a pick up game of basketball.

I didn't say it doesn't happen in other areas of skill, I said it doesn't happen to the same extent. Which I stand by. If you're a lousy basketball player, you're a lousy basketball player. But to guys on these forums, if you're not good with women, it's like you're not even really a man.

 

[lamath]

What is it about being good with women that causes guys to look down on everyone who isn't good with women to such an extent? This phenomenon seems unique to this community.

If you read a guitar forum, the guys who are good at guitar don't look at the guys who don't play as lesser human beings. They certainly don't have a large variety of names they call them to emasculate them.

But to those in the community, the guys who aren't good with women are called incels, betas, beta phaggots, AFCs, chodes, herberts, cucks, and other unflattering terms. They are looked upon as little more than worms that crawl upon the earth, and blame them for all the woes of the world.

I can't think of another skillset group that does this.

I dont consider myself rude and im certainly not good with women but what gets me is the lack of self respect and neediness some men have.

 

[Mike32ct]

The odd thing is, the guys who are supposedly the best with women are the guys who will tell you that women are not important, and shouldn't be a big focus of your life. And yet, the view remains that guys who don't do well with women are among the lowest forms of humanity. Which is odd, if women aren't supposed to be that important.

Yes, it’s kind of like this:

Rule #1 - Don’t put puzzy on a pedestal.

Rule #2 - But if you’re not getting puzzy, you’re a total loser lol.

Can’t have it both ways.