"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
What is holding YOU back from the success with women that you want?
- Thread starter Masculinity
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
I'm definitely not having any problems getting women. I can get a lot of women, and in times like these (when I'm single) I can bang 1-2 a week, on average.
Problem is, I'm gonna be 33 and though most of these women are pretty hot by most standards, I still can't land that super high quality woman.
You know the one:
Intelligent, classy, super hot and completely level headed. The kind you bring home to mom and the kind you marry because you realize that she compliments you like no other woman could.
That woman still eludes me.
And I know why... I've wasted most of my adult life chasing after less than ideal women, getting into relationships with women who were ok, but on a level I always felt I was settling. Many were hot but I want more.
The only way I'll ever get more is to really become the man that attracts those type of women. This is something that goes far beyond any game, tricks, techniques or any of that other b.s.
I made a commitment a year ago to get sober, and finally fully follow my bliss. An amazing thing happened. My entire life fell into place over several months and in that moment I was ready to meet "that woman"...
STORY:
Well, the universe has a funny way of teaching us lessons and sending us reminders.
The woman in question was one of those rare "love at first sight" kind of things. The thing you hear about but never believe it, until it happens to you The feeling was instant and was mutual. We hit it off unlike anything I ever experienced.
Without going into an even bigger diatribe, lets just say that I was on top of the world and took up drinking again and just living large and loving life.
Remember, the universe sends us reminders so that we only learn a lesson once. Dream girl quickly fell apart and turned into psycho troubled b*tch from hell. Things went way too deep too fast and suddenly I was trapped in a scenario that was very hard to get out of. (A lot of family stuff, she has a small child and suddenly I was literally being treated like the father)
The drinking worsened and I finally realized I was back to where I was a year ago and broke it off with her. It was crazy. She's still not over me but I know that she was a "false flag" in terms of the type of woman I really want. She was the universe sending me a reminder of why I chose to get sober and build my own personal dream life.
Lesson learned so today I am getting sober again, and getting myself back to the man who knew where he was going and was fulfilled by himself. The screening process for Miss Right just got a bit more microscopic. Anyone who truly loves and respects himself won't let crazy women walk in and turn his life into a train wreck.
This whole relationship lasted 3 months, and I was stressed and unhappy for about half of it until I finally woke up and realized I was almost under some sort of spell. Love blinders, compassion for someone going through troubled times.... whatever it was, it was screwing me out of my happiness and my goals for the future.
I am not "Captain Save-A-Hoe".... I know what I want and all I have to do is be the man that attracts that to me, without ever having to go looking for it.
Thanx for reading.
Problem is, I'm gonna be 33 and though most of these women are pretty hot by most standards, I still can't land that super high quality woman.
You know the one:
Intelligent, classy, super hot and completely level headed. The kind you bring home to mom and the kind you marry because you realize that she compliments you like no other woman could.
That woman still eludes me.
And I know why... I've wasted most of my adult life chasing after less than ideal women, getting into relationships with women who were ok, but on a level I always felt I was settling. Many were hot but I want more.
The only way I'll ever get more is to really become the man that attracts those type of women. This is something that goes far beyond any game, tricks, techniques or any of that other b.s.
I made a commitment a year ago to get sober, and finally fully follow my bliss. An amazing thing happened. My entire life fell into place over several months and in that moment I was ready to meet "that woman"...
STORY:
Well, the universe has a funny way of teaching us lessons and sending us reminders.
The woman in question was one of those rare "love at first sight" kind of things. The thing you hear about but never believe it, until it happens to you The feeling was instant and was mutual. We hit it off unlike anything I ever experienced.
Without going into an even bigger diatribe, lets just say that I was on top of the world and took up drinking again and just living large and loving life.
Remember, the universe sends us reminders so that we only learn a lesson once. Dream girl quickly fell apart and turned into psycho troubled b*tch from hell. Things went way too deep too fast and suddenly I was trapped in a scenario that was very hard to get out of. (A lot of family stuff, she has a small child and suddenly I was literally being treated like the father)
The drinking worsened and I finally realized I was back to where I was a year ago and broke it off with her. It was crazy. She's still not over me but I know that she was a "false flag" in terms of the type of woman I really want. She was the universe sending me a reminder of why I chose to get sober and build my own personal dream life.
Lesson learned so today I am getting sober again, and getting myself back to the man who knew where he was going and was fulfilled by himself. The screening process for Miss Right just got a bit more microscopic. Anyone who truly loves and respects himself won't let crazy women walk in and turn his life into a train wreck.
This whole relationship lasted 3 months, and I was stressed and unhappy for about half of it until I finally woke up and realized I was almost under some sort of spell. Love blinders, compassion for someone going through troubled times.... whatever it was, it was screwing me out of my happiness and my goals for the future.
I am not "Captain Save-A-Hoe".... I know what I want and all I have to do is be the man that attracts that to me, without ever having to go looking for it.
Thanx for reading.
The Bad Ass Canadian
Master Don Juan
Woman, sex and the quest for status through trying to attract as many women as possible is another form of pain avoidance. It's a symptom of a bigger issue. An issue of feeling un-whole and needing someone to bring us into wholeness.Demonpenz said:
When you can truly find joy in being alone and doing the things you love to do, you don't need any of this. Funny thing is that the second you get to that point, the floodgates open up and the women are everywhere.
But, just like you are (or once were, in this case), these are women who are mostly looking for someone to "complete" them.
They have a feeling of being un-whole, too, and guess who's energy they will be leeching to fill that void?
Yours.
Find the women who are complete unto themselves and you'll find a great relationship. The kind who don't need you but who enjoy your company as you do, theirs. There's no "this for that" type of relationship. Giving and being given too is implied without strings attached.
That might be mission impossible, these days. lol
Fear of rejection stemming from some bad experiences used to hold me back.
Recently, I got rid of some issues and right now, I'm concentrating on really improving myself. I'm not even trying to sarge/game women right now because I'm way too busy hitting the gym, focusing on my university course, and learning about Don Juan principles through the DJ Bible, Book of Pook and other threads on sosuave.
Is it stopping me from success with women? In the short term yes, but in the long run I know I will have success because I took time out to improve myself.
Recently, I got rid of some issues and right now, I'm concentrating on really improving myself. I'm not even trying to sarge/game women right now because I'm way too busy hitting the gym, focusing on my university course, and learning about Don Juan principles through the DJ Bible, Book of Pook and other threads on sosuave.
Is it stopping me from success with women? In the short term yes, but in the long run I know I will have success because I took time out to improve myself.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
ChalengeGuyFan
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 5, 2008
- Messages
- 521
- Reaction score
- 19
The lack of experience makes me feel inferior and unworthy. Therefore, most of the time I can't even start anything with women.
However, sometimes (rarely...) I do start something and many of those times I shine, but it doesn't last too much.
Finally, when do really well I become scared of success and back to square one I go.
It's a torture.
However, sometimes (rarely...) I do start something and many of those times I shine, but it doesn't last too much.
Finally, when do really well I become scared of success and back to square one I go.
It's a torture.
Dust 2 Dust
Master Don Juan
1. Using porn as a crutch to achieve instant sexual gratification rather than going out and approaching.
2. Eating a poor diet and allowing myself to become overweight. I've recently joined a gym and I'm slowing getting back into shape. I've lost over 10 pounds so far.
2. Eating a poor diet and allowing myself to become overweight. I've recently joined a gym and I'm slowing getting back into shape. I've lost over 10 pounds so far.
I'm in the Mood
Master Don Juan
My Sticking Points
1) Conversation
I have trouble starting and maintaining conversations, also making them fun and interesting. I'm not a big fan of small talk at all, yet I don't have the skills to make it fun, or to lead conversations. To solve these problems I'd like to start reading some books related to conversation and practice what I learn everyday.
2) Health and Fitness
I'm not in the best shape of my life by any means, in fact, I don't really exercise that much anymore. I'd like to start doing pushups and situps first thing in the morning, even if I can only do 10-20 of them total. I can start working on this goal first thing in the morning. During winter vacation, I'd like to move on to going out for a jog every morning. In addition, I'd like to eat healthier, which I could accomplish by skipping desert, not eating so much cereal, and getting back off of coffee. I managed to go a couple weeks without it, but now I realize that I broke.
3) Porn and Sex
I'm addicted to watching porn, and I'm not ready to stop. I don't really see what's wrong with it, and that's the way I get off due to a lack of real sex. I'd like to investigate this addiction and do some research into the porn industry, as well as how to please women in bed. This is a critical area for everyone, and if you're doing PU, learning game, or just doing self-improvement, you NEED to learn about sex. Everything you could possibly learn. Our modern society is incredibly driven by sexuality and sex appeal. If you can learn and understand sexuality, you can create sex appeal for yourself, and I believe ultimately attract more women. If you're a guy like me who uses knowledge and critical thinking constantly in life, you will want to understand as much as you can. Although experience will teach you more, if you have the knowledge and know how to use it, you can use it to enhance your sexual experiences. I will start searching for books and articles on this subject.
4) Approach Anxiety
I'm not yet ready to conquer these fears, because I feel them so intensely. I feel that I do not have the skills to approach any woman I want. I believe that the best way for me to do this is to become very comfortable socializing, and then I will take the necessary steps to approach strangers and start conversing with them. I don't have a clue how to approach a woman without a pickup line. I've done it 3 or 4 times before with a pickup line, but it never went anywhere and it was very hard to break my comfort zone and make the approach. I'd like to work on this too, and my goal in this area will be to figure out how I can master this on my own.
1) Conversation
I have trouble starting and maintaining conversations, also making them fun and interesting. I'm not a big fan of small talk at all, yet I don't have the skills to make it fun, or to lead conversations. To solve these problems I'd like to start reading some books related to conversation and practice what I learn everyday.
2) Health and Fitness
I'm not in the best shape of my life by any means, in fact, I don't really exercise that much anymore. I'd like to start doing pushups and situps first thing in the morning, even if I can only do 10-20 of them total. I can start working on this goal first thing in the morning. During winter vacation, I'd like to move on to going out for a jog every morning. In addition, I'd like to eat healthier, which I could accomplish by skipping desert, not eating so much cereal, and getting back off of coffee. I managed to go a couple weeks without it, but now I realize that I broke.
3) Porn and Sex
I'm addicted to watching porn, and I'm not ready to stop. I don't really see what's wrong with it, and that's the way I get off due to a lack of real sex. I'd like to investigate this addiction and do some research into the porn industry, as well as how to please women in bed. This is a critical area for everyone, and if you're doing PU, learning game, or just doing self-improvement, you NEED to learn about sex. Everything you could possibly learn. Our modern society is incredibly driven by sexuality and sex appeal. If you can learn and understand sexuality, you can create sex appeal for yourself, and I believe ultimately attract more women. If you're a guy like me who uses knowledge and critical thinking constantly in life, you will want to understand as much as you can. Although experience will teach you more, if you have the knowledge and know how to use it, you can use it to enhance your sexual experiences. I will start searching for books and articles on this subject.
4) Approach Anxiety
I'm not yet ready to conquer these fears, because I feel them so intensely. I feel that I do not have the skills to approach any woman I want. I believe that the best way for me to do this is to become very comfortable socializing, and then I will take the necessary steps to approach strangers and start conversing with them. I don't have a clue how to approach a woman without a pickup line. I've done it 3 or 4 times before with a pickup line, but it never went anywhere and it was very hard to break my comfort zone and make the approach. I'd like to work on this too, and my goal in this area will be to figure out how I can master this on my own.