What is going to happen here? Need advice, or just thoughts.

[KEddie]

A girl i've liked for a long time has recently become single. I never acted on anything because her boyfriend was a friend of mine. We always flirted and hung out while she was with him. She even said she had feelings for me one time, but I dismissed it as just more playing around. Later, I began to have second thoughts if she was serious or not, and I've been kicking myself in the azz since. Which brings us to now.

We hadn't talked for about 6 months. Then I found out that she had broken up, I immediately contacted her begging the ground work.

So now, we've been exchanging e-mails for the past two months or so, and now she is coming to town for mardi gras. But she hasn't said if there will be more people other than us, or just us(I plan on asking).

I kind of feel like this is my big chance to find out once and for all. But I don't know whether to be direct about it, or be a little less direct.

So my questions are:

A. How do I get rid of other people so that I can talk to her if need be?

B. Should I be direct and just come out and tell her the facts, or be more indirect?

 

[tmpgstx]

She did like you before and now is coming to town and doesn't have a boyfriend.

All you have to do is flirt a bit and make it known that you want to date her before she goes back to wherever she lives. There are always times to talk alone or usually, seize those oppurtunities to ask her about herself and her situation.

 

[spitkicker]

It's on man. I've been in this exact situation. Take her out. Have a killer time. Playfully touch her (high fives, punches, ,etc). Get drunk with her. Game Over. Promise.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

Originally posted by tmpgstx
She did like you before and now is coming to town and doesn't have a boyfriend.

All you have to do is flirt a bit and make it known that you want to date her before she goes back to wherever she lives. There are always times to talk alone or usually, seize those oppurtunities to ask her about herself and her situation.

A little something to add to this: Whether there are people around or not--when they begin talking, you can isolate her through conversation--that no one else will be listening to. Sometimes, that's tought to do, and sometimes it's really easy. BAsically, if an opportunity presents itself to have a 1-on-1 conversation with her, whether peeps are around or not, seize it, and do not hesitate.

 

[KEddie]

So you guys are fairly certain this is not a trap to fall into the friend zone?

Also, thanks for all the advice guys.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Originally posted by KEddie
So you guys are fairly certain this is not a trap to fall into the friend zone?

Also, thanks for all the advice guys.

You don't get 'trapped' into the friend zone, you put yourself there by doing all the wrong things. And by what I can see, you are about to fall head first into it bro.

 

[Vampire]

Basically, treat her like any other girl. Like one of the dude's said, have a kickass time. Don't "talk" about anything relating to your feelings, etc. Just take her out, be buddy-buddy and flirty, and make your move if she shows interest.

No talk... all action. Understand? If you confront her about your feelings, you could totally ruin it. You could potentially create a really awkward situation. Don't trip yourself up worrying about how it will all play out---you guys are friends, you will hang out, and it will go down. Less talk=more results.

 

[KEddie]

ok, I just got an e-mail from her, she said there will be a bunch of her firends with us. And then she informed me that her and her boyfriend broke up. Which is really weird because A. I already knew, and B. I already made it clear that I knew.

So WTF?

Is she just telling me to make sure I know, so I make a move on her?

Or is she just telling me because I asked about other people and she was just making sure that I knew that her ex/ a friend of mine wasn't going to be there?

 

[spitkicker]

she's telling you this because she wants you to put your **** in her. i really dont know how to be any more blatant than that.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Originally posted by spitkicker
she's telling you this because she wants you to put your **** in her. i really dont know how to be any more blatant than that.

Exactly. Just be cool about it bro, don't F it up by coming across needy or desparate. Make her work for it a little, she'll enjoy the chase.

I woud socialize with her friends more, pay them more attention. Be fun, charming, challenging, etc. Give her a little 'taste' here and there, but then back off and have some fun. Don't start trying to figure out how you are going to get into her pants, just relax and have fun.

 

[KEddie]

This Just In:

After she sent the e-mail telling me she was single(see above), I wrote back saying, "I see. So you are pouncing on the hottest guy you know."

To hich she replied, "you know I've always had a thing for you. "

As you can see there is the dreaded smiley face.

So I wrote back, "Yeah I know. It all stems from [a project we worked on together when we were still in school]."

Then I finished up by saying I thought she was just lying about having a thing for me.

All of this not being face to face sh** is driving me nuts. I have to wait all the way till the 25th to finally get some actual body language etc.

What do you guys think?

 

[KEddie]

bump.

 

[dikster]

KEddie,

Man, what are you thinking when you flirt with her while she has a boyfriend? Most of all, her bf is your friend. How do you feel if its the other way around. Also, even though they have broken up, there is still those feelings between the two of them. Will you risk your friendship over a girl. Also, note this, if she become your gf, what assurance do you got that she's not gonna see and flirt with another guy.

I,ve had an experience. I met a girl through a friend, and I was somewhat interested in that girl. When I ask my friend about the qualities of this girl, he mentioned to me that she was his ex. So, I just told my buddy that I didn't know and told him that I will not make a move on her anymore. The gist of this is that "feelings between ex's is still there. So, its up to you KEddie. my two cent worth.

 

[biker_gixxer]

After she sent the e-mail telling me she was single(see above), I wrote back saying, "I see. So you are pouncing on the hottest guy you know."

This is good, keep it up....

All of this not being face to face sh** is driving me nuts. I have to wait all the way till the 25th to finally get some actual body language etc.

Driving you nuts, having to wait 'all the way' until the 25th? You need to get a better hold of your emotions or you will screw it all up. Relax...

I would go out and meet some girls closer to you and get some a$$. Stop spending so much time thinking about this one.

 

[tihash]

Dude, enough with the emails back and forth with her.

You are on the verge of talking about "feelings."

Keep your flirting for in person when she is there.

Let the tension build in the meantime.

Like spitkicker (sp?) said, you are in.

The only thing that will prevent that now is you.

Don't screw up. Be confident. Be a challenge. Be aloof. Don't talk to much via email. You are too busy with your life for that, right? But, lucky for her, you'll make some time for her when she is in town.

Don't be a wussy.

 

[NewMan]

So I wrote back, "Yeah I know. It all stems from [a project we worked on together when we were still in school]."

Then I finished up by saying I thought she was just lying about having a thing for me.


****

Keep on that track and you will fvck this up.

Stop emailing her about whether she likes you or not. Do not mention it.

You want her to be on edge. You want her to not know whether you like her or not. You want her to be excited - to be thinking - to anticipate.....

keep your emails light and to the point. do not start talking about who like's who etc. etc.