What is attraction [discussion]

[AlexLefty]

Can anyone define for me EXACTLY what attraction is? Ideally I mean more than just a couple of sentences, but really break it down to the fundamentals of what this elusive entity actually is.

In other words, what creates/causes attraction?

I think a good place to start is to divide it into the factors that affect the Unconscious Mind versus the Conscious Mind

Hopefully this can turn into a good discussion and we can all learn from it.


Edit:
I want to talk about this because we always seem to be so quick to judge if a woman is attracted or not. But do we actually know WHY. Have we ever actually defined, and do we actually understand what attraction is. It seems to be this ubiquitous concept that everyone agrees upon but no one actually knows.

 

[DoubleBarrel]

In short, I'd say attraction is simply the occurrence of having our initial desire to mate triggered, when a potential mate has been selected in the mind through (unconscious) analyzation and qualification.

It seems that what causes it are signals from a potential mate that reveal they are capable and able to fulfill their role and duties of their sex in relation to bearing and/or rearing offspring.

Physically speaking, us men are attracted to women with slim figures, larger breasts and curvy hips. The slimness indicates they'll be healthy enough to live long enough to raise their offspring to maturity, their larger breasts indicate they'll have ample, quality food for the babies to live and develop, and their hips indicate that they'll be able to carry the fetus to birth without losing it.

There's the equivalent indicators and their relevance for men too.

Of course, there are also character traits that serve as indicators too, all in relation to bearing and rearing offspring. These indicator are probably more about the potential of the parent to be able to teach the offspring (i.e. how to survive, etc.).

I'd say attraction's ALL about ensuring the best for the offspring.

 

[AlexLefty]

In short, I'd say attraction is simply the occurrence of having our initial desire to mate triggered, when a potential mate has been selected in the mind through (unconscious) analyzation and qualification.

It seems that what causes it are signals from a potential mate that reveal they are capable and able to fulfill their role and duties of their sex in relation to bearing and/or rearing offspring.

Physically speaking, us men are attracted to women with slim figures, larger breasts and curvy hips. The slimness indicates they'll be healthy enough to live long enough to raise their offspring to maturity, their larger breasts indicate they'll have ample, quality food for the babies to live and develop, and their hips indicate that they'll be able to carry the fetus to birth without losing it.

There's the equivalent indicators and their relevance for men too.

Of course, there are also character traits that serve as indicators too, all in relation to bearing and rearing offspring. These indicator are probably more about the potential of the parent to be able to teach the offspring (i.e. how to survive, etc.).

I'd say attraction's ALL about ensuring the best for the offspring.

I agree. Males provide survival value, and women provide replication value - and as you said the display of these values triggers attraction in the opposite sex.

In short, I'd say attraction is simply the occurrence of having our initial desire to mate triggered, when a potential mate has been selected in the mind through (unconscious) analyzation and qualification.

It seems that what causes it are signals from a potential mate that reveal they are capable and able to fulfill their role and duties of their sex in relation to bearing and/or rearing offspring.

BUT, let's get more detailed. What I want to know is what triggers these signals.

AND

What ARE these signals?
Some obvious ones: Being the leader of men, preselection, leader/protector of loved ones

 

[AlexLefty]

In short, I'd say attraction is simply the occurrence of having our initial desire to mate triggered, when a potential mate has been selected in the mind through (unconscious) analyzation and qualification.

It seems that what causes it are signals from a potential mate that reveal they are capable and able to fulfill their role and duties of their sex in relation to bearing and/or rearing offspring.

Physically speaking, us men are attracted to women with slim figures, larger breasts and curvy hips. The slimness indicates they'll be healthy enough to live long enough to raise their offspring to maturity, their larger breasts indicate they'll have ample, quality food for the babies to live and develop, and their hips indicate that they'll be able to carry the fetus to birth without losing it.

There's the equivalent indicators and their relevance for men too.

Of course, there are also character traits that serve as indicators too, all in relation to bearing and rearing offspring. These indicator are probably more about the potential of the parent to be able to teach the offspring (i.e. how to survive, etc.).

I'd say attraction's ALL about ensuring the best for the offspring.

I agree. Males provide survival value, and women provide replication value - and as you said the display of these values triggers attraction in the opposite sex.

In short, I'd say attraction is simply the occurrence of having our initial desire to mate triggered, when a potential mate has been selected in the mind through (unconscious) analyzation and qualification.

It seems that what causes it are signals from a potential mate that reveal they are capable and able to fulfill their role and duties of their sex in relation to bearing and/or rearing offspring.

BUT, let's get more detailed. What I want to know is what triggers these signals. I.E. what specific things cause these attraction signals. Also, let's not rule out the importance of male physical attraction.

AND

What ARE these signals?
Some obvious ones: Being the leader of men, preselection, leader/protector of loved ones

 

[DoubleBarrel]

If we're talking about genetic good looks, they're only a foot in the door. They grab attention. Nothing more. They're like a great headline on a sales letter. It will automatically draw more readers in and increases the chances. But what happens if the rest of the copy is terrible? Readers leave before they get to the closer, and no sales are made. Whereas, even if a headline is mediocre but the copy kicks @ss, sales will be made.

Good looks are helpful, but not necessary to overall success.

Now, what causes these signals in a man that trigger attraction in a woman? Simply put, his attitude toward his ongoing experience... which manifests itself in a certain kind of body language. It cannot be faked. Trying to fake the signals will emit a rigid sort of body language that is different than when it's genuine; thus, defeating the point.

So what is this attitude? Isn't that what this site is all about?

But to be brief, I'd say it's openness and being in the moment; not worrying about having eyes on you and not trying to be right, especially whenever you're out in public. Then a person's movements free up, their eye contact becomes receptive and their voice resonates.

These three things are the signals, especially the latter two. A steady, relaxed and alert gaze and a calm, paced and musical voice is all it really takes to trigger instant attraction in a woman.

If you meet guys who are great with women, they will always have these in common! A person has to experience it first-hand to know what its subtle affects are. It's difficult to describe in words.

Unfortunately, these are also the things that are MOST DIFFICULT to change in life.

 

[foreverAFC]

attraction for me, is when i look at a girl and my penis tingles