What is a woman's (partner) role in a man's success?

[Heretolearn]

Interested at a mature approach to the question:

What is a woman's (romantic partner) role in a man's success?

Now I expect two absolute viewpoints:

1) None: You succeed yourself etc
2) All: Getting the quality woman is your success.

Now I doubt anyone on Sosuave would go for no 2. This site has definitely taught me more about no 1 although I do believe a woman plays a role in every man's life as a partner.

Now of course there are stories saying choosing the right woman can make or break your life.

How important is a woman?

What are some examples of very successful men who prospered whilst single?

I know success is relative so for me I am focusing on career/business when I ask the question.

I have just read about the lives of Richard Branson (married/relationship most of his productive years) and now Rupert Murdoch (married relationship most of his productive years).

Most of the 'successful' people I know/work with are all married and stable. Some may not be the happiest although they are not unhappy and are definitely stable. So does it become easier for a man in these 'stable' relationships to focus more energy on the other areas of their life?

Also, I found this story about Rupert Murdoch (the billionaire media mogul) illuminating. Even when they were RIDICULOUSLY wealthy, Mrs Anne Murdoch would glue the handles back on broken tea cups instead of throwing them out.......... (ironically Anne and Rupert divorced in 1991 and Anne received a 1.2 BILLION dollar settlement which could buy a lot of teacups).

Richard and Rupert were both married more than once although clearly women played important parts in their lives.

Your thoughts please gentleman.

 

[Strelok]

Single= hungry and angry, wants more and willing to risk or work hard,sacrifice your holydays and dream about what you can get.

Married= stability and comfort, you work hard to make sure your family doesnt miss anything, you can afford to spend all your day working cause you know a warm meal and a warm pie is waiting for you at home.
* happy marriage.

Now it depends which kind of man are you, some prosper in the first case driven from hunger while others struggles if they dont receive feedbacks and love.
Some give their best under frustration others receiving rewards.

I think the key is what that woman stands for, is she a wing for you that cook you dinner when you come back late from work or is she a noise box who complain about you ignoring her needs?

Does she do ATM cause she knows you like it and wanna prove shes yours therefore boosting your self-confidence or she unwillingly happen to suck your c0ck sometime while she use her hand making you feel like a left over?

In my case I say its actually healthy for me to be in a LTR, my abilities are the same but having a home and a lovely gf who does anything for me, those abilities are directed for good purposes like enlarge the garden and get a swimming pool instead of ale and *****s like when I was single.
Now I even save money to obtain more money in the long run.

 

[sodbuster]

Well, I think Microsoft was quite a company before a marriage even was thought of.

IF a woman will help with the chores-cook,clean,deal with the kids;she will help you concentrate on your job and career.... but if she isn't willing to move when you have to and holds back your career?

 

[Buddha_Mind]

I've found that having an LTR has limited me at times, because my goals and aspirations are stifled by my desire to still be in the LTR -- IE, that travel or place may be incompatible with her life-plan. Thus, an LTR and commitment to a woman can be limiting.

However, the emotional support a good woman can provide can be empowering, and we all know when the chick we dig also is into us, it can be an immense feeling of strength.

^The problem is when their energy is retracted, that strength can hit the ground lightening speed and misery can ensue.

I would say the best success must be founded on a person's own internal commitment...another person can encourage and support them and this may aid in their success, but heck, half of the most successful people too succeeded in the face of a lack of support by those around them, and often even great resistance by those closest to them.

How many successful people were scorned by their fathers regarding their decisions? IE -- Charles Darwin, upon embarking on his voyage to the Galapagos, was harshly criticized by his own family as it being a waste of time, a poor economic decision, he'd be better off taking an apprenticeship for some trade is what they said -- and look where he got by pushing against the haters [whom were his closest family].

I'd say a woman can definitely enrich your life, in ways that materials cannot, but I would say ultimately your success is your own, and at times, she may even be a critic.

 

[Heretolearn]

great replies guys - please keep them coming.

 

[Lexington]

I don't think there's any evidence to suggest that marriage generally inhibits or facilitates success. Married people tend to be better off in terms of health, economic status, career, reported happiness etc. than their unmarried counterparts, but that's not evidence that marriage contributed to their success. Most adults -even today- report that they want to get married at some point. Thus, those that did not marry are probably more likely to have difficulties finding life partners. As a group, they are probably less healthy, ambitious, intelligent, attractive etc.

 

[Jitterbug]

If you marry a woman whose family is influential, powerful, rich, resourceful or well-connected, you will become more successful, or at least gain powerful allies.

That's what marriage used to be about. Either that, or plain old survival.

 

[Burroughs]

It is the rare women that will stick by you WHEN TIMES GET ROUGH. If you find such a girl hang on to her like grim death.

Women can smell even the smallest hint of power from miles away. When I was in college my band was involved in a bidding war with several major labels, sadly nothing came of it but for a 10 month period I was the hottest thing on campus. Now I am a strong 7 but during that bidding war period I had solid 10s making hard moves towards me. What was it they wanted I wonder The limelight, success, power....

Branson, Murdoch, Zuckerberg all have women around them to FEED off their power. It is the rare women that ADDS power.

 

[DavenJuan]

There was a study ( cannot recite the source) that showed SINGLE men had a higher rate of death than those married. Of course alot of factors can be at play, but I still found that interesting.

In relation to your question, I think that success is defined by the PERSON themself, more than anything, however outside influences play a significant part. What the contributing factors are that lead to success will vary from person to person.

"Responsibilities" will push anyone to strive at what they do career wise. having to feed your family, knowing that your performance at work may affect your family can be a strong motivation for men to succeed.

I dont believe this is the only determing factor in success, but I would be a fool to think this doesnt contribute.

I look at myself as an example. I have been the best at my position regionally for the last few years. However now that I have a child on the way, I have surpassed my own goals and expectations these last few months. A trigger went off, and the realization that my performance will impact someone elses life has contributed MORE than any other form of motivation i have ever had.

The other thing to keep in mind is the "social expectations" others may have. Ask yourself, do you see a SINGLE President in the near future? People get the impression that in order to understand them, you have to be a father, a husband. Fair or not.

Take promotions as an example. If two men who equally contribute to their profession are up for promotion, One a single bachelor, the other with a family to support, who do you think would be more likely to receive that promotion?

Outside influences contribute to our success, regardless how unfortunate that may be.

 

[Heretolearn]

good replies again.

It is an interesting topic. I could easily say the former model of a family (breadwinner, carer) works the best. And then traditionally the guy is the breadwinner although I will avoid that line of reasoning.

For myself, I believe the stability of life and responsibility would be more motivating although being single has allowed me to easily work overtime when necessary as no one is really impacted but me. I have also been able to make all my decisions without consulting anyone eg. relocation/risk taking.

I am only 31 so still early in my career. For the more experienced persons, does that change much over time? I.e the flexibility required from your job such as overtime/travelling etc. I.e increase or decrease. Generally speaking and what you have seen.

Still have not seen any examples of successful people who have only been single.

 

[Jitterbug]

DavenJuan, fair point regarding promotions etc. but by the same token, you don't see married men starting up companies or attempting any risky business venture either. Google were started by highly dedicated single men. When you're married with a family, you can't risk much. If you want to climb the corporate or government ranks, being married might be an advantage, but that's far from the only ways to succeed.

Still have not seen any examples of successful people who have only been single.

Millions of examples, they only got married later when they were already successful. Where do I even start... pick your favourite industry and I'll name a few.

 

[sharkbeat]

Sometimes the only thing that a man needs to hear before making that leap of faith is a woman confirming him to "go for it". That's when he knows that even if he fails, she's still going to be there and smiles for him. He's not just going to be a lonely loser.

However, a man can still succeed with the company of good friends (men or women). Bill Gates didn't start Microsoft all by himself. Mark Zuckerberg didn't start FB all by himself. He's got company.