"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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What is a good DJ response to them questioning me?

Zapp Brannigan

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So I know a guy who can be intrusive when asking questions. I'm going to see him at a party on Christmas Eve, and I'm sure he's going to ask plenty.

On Halloween he asked if I was going out with anyone, and I told him about this girl I was seeing at the time. Every time I've seen him since, he's asked about her. Me and her aren't going out any more, and haven't since around late November. Nothing really happened and it was kind of a neutral thing.

He asked about her the one time I saw him this month, and I dodged around the question hoping he wouldn't say anything else. From the way it happened I think he's under the notion we're still going out.

When he asks me about the girlfriend how do I tell him that I'm no longer seeing her without it sounding like something bad happened? With it being close to Christmas I'm sure he's going to ask follow-up questions and assume the worst. As I've mentioned on the forum recently, I'm happy to be single, and taking a break from plate spinning.

What would be a proper DJ response to him asking me about her?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Between_The_Lines

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The reason why you can't formulate the "proper DJ response" is because you don't have the 'proper DJ MINDSET'. Why are you terrified of another guy's inquisitiveness? Turn the tables on him - ask him why he always seems so interested in your life. Remind him that you're into girls, but appreciate the curiosity. Laugh it off. First envision him and then treat him exactly as you would some bratty child nagging you with an endless stream of Socratic questioning. You need to dig deep into the root of your problem which lies in your mindset.
 

PeasantPlayer

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OP I know what you are talking about, hate when people ask about my life, I feel like they are asking in a condescending way and it annoys me. That's what happens when you surround yourself around average people. All they want to talk about is other people.
 

Zapp Brannigan

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This guy is around 15 years older than me, married, and has never seen the girl. I can't say something like "Why? you like her?" when he asks. Not terrified of him asking anything, I just don't want him to, and worry how my response might give the wrong idea that something bad happened.

PeasantPlayer-EXACTLY. It's so annoying when people ask "Where's your girlfriend" or some other personal question in a condescending way. This guy I know he means well, but he can come off as intrusive and condescending when asking this stuff.
 

Zapp Brannigan

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I'm not leaving anything out.

If this person thinks something bad happened word about it will spread at this place like wildfire. Gossip at these meetings can be pretty bad.

I made this thread to figure out how to tell them me and the girl aren't going out any more.

I have to answer them. They'll persist until getting an answer if I dodge around it.

Hoping he won't ask again, but he will. Because of that I have to find a way to come clean.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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RangerMIke

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Answer questions like that with questions. Don't let ANYONE interigate you about your relationships. "Why do you want to know?", "Are you her father?" After he answers tell him you don't talk about the women you are seeing or have seen.

It's possible your 'friend' is going to say whatever you say to her or her friends. It helps your game if women know you are a guy that can keep your mouth shut.
 

Moroder

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OP, I don't think you need to examine your each and every feeling before you face this guy again. Sometimes people are just too damn curious and need to be told to stop it. So tell this guy to leave you the fvck alone. I have sometimes done this by telling them bluntly: "I am not going to discuss this matter with you. Either we talk about something else or you take off right now." Usuallly, they will chicken because nobody expects such a direct hit.
 

El Payaso

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"I don't see how that's any of your concern."

I guarantee he'll never grill you again.
 

christoff522

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Him "Hows you and the girlfriend?"
You "I'm fine, as far as I know she's doing well"

Him "Thats good, so when you marrying her"
You "who?"
Him "The girlfriend"
You "What girlfriend?"
Him "So you broke up? What happened?"

......(leave a bit of silence here, make a bit of eye contact here, try to make it intense like a lion staring down it's prey)

You "hows you and the wife?"
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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