"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What is a good DJ response to them questioning me?

Zapp Brannigan

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So I know a guy who can be intrusive when asking questions. I'm going to see him at a party on Christmas Eve, and I'm sure he's going to ask plenty.

On Halloween he asked if I was going out with anyone, and I told him about this girl I was seeing at the time. Every time I've seen him since, he's asked about her. Me and her aren't going out any more, and haven't since around late November. Nothing really happened and it was kind of a neutral thing.

He asked about her the one time I saw him this month, and I dodged around the question hoping he wouldn't say anything else. From the way it happened I think he's under the notion we're still going out.

When he asks me about the girlfriend how do I tell him that I'm no longer seeing her without it sounding like something bad happened? With it being close to Christmas I'm sure he's going to ask follow-up questions and assume the worst. As I've mentioned on the forum recently, I'm happy to be single, and taking a break from plate spinning.

What would be a proper DJ response to him asking me about her?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Between_The_Lines

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The reason why you can't formulate the "proper DJ response" is because you don't have the 'proper DJ MINDSET'. Why are you terrified of another guy's inquisitiveness? Turn the tables on him - ask him why he always seems so interested in your life. Remind him that you're into girls, but appreciate the curiosity. Laugh it off. First envision him and then treat him exactly as you would some bratty child nagging you with an endless stream of Socratic questioning. You need to dig deep into the root of your problem which lies in your mindset.
 

PeasantPlayer

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OP I know what you are talking about, hate when people ask about my life, I feel like they are asking in a condescending way and it annoys me. That's what happens when you surround yourself around average people. All they want to talk about is other people.
 

Zapp Brannigan

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This guy is around 15 years older than me, married, and has never seen the girl. I can't say something like "Why? you like her?" when he asks. Not terrified of him asking anything, I just don't want him to, and worry how my response might give the wrong idea that something bad happened.

PeasantPlayer-EXACTLY. It's so annoying when people ask "Where's your girlfriend" or some other personal question in a condescending way. This guy I know he means well, but he can come off as intrusive and condescending when asking this stuff.
 

Zapp Brannigan

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I'm not leaving anything out.

If this person thinks something bad happened word about it will spread at this place like wildfire. Gossip at these meetings can be pretty bad.

I made this thread to figure out how to tell them me and the girl aren't going out any more.

I have to answer them. They'll persist until getting an answer if I dodge around it.

Hoping he won't ask again, but he will. Because of that I have to find a way to come clean.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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RangerMIke

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Answer questions like that with questions. Don't let ANYONE interigate you about your relationships. "Why do you want to know?", "Are you her father?" After he answers tell him you don't talk about the women you are seeing or have seen.

It's possible your 'friend' is going to say whatever you say to her or her friends. It helps your game if women know you are a guy that can keep your mouth shut.
 

Moroder

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OP, I don't think you need to examine your each and every feeling before you face this guy again. Sometimes people are just too damn curious and need to be told to stop it. So tell this guy to leave you the fvck alone. I have sometimes done this by telling them bluntly: "I am not going to discuss this matter with you. Either we talk about something else or you take off right now." Usuallly, they will chicken because nobody expects such a direct hit.
 

El Payaso

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"I don't see how that's any of your concern."

I guarantee he'll never grill you again.
 

christoff522

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Him "Hows you and the girlfriend?"
You "I'm fine, as far as I know she's doing well"

Him "Thats good, so when you marrying her"
You "who?"
Him "The girlfriend"
You "What girlfriend?"
Him "So you broke up? What happened?"

......(leave a bit of silence here, make a bit of eye contact here, try to make it intense like a lion staring down it's prey)

You "hows you and the wife?"
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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