"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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what in the hell to do (ex)

blackhatter

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I know you've all seen posts almost EXACTLY like these, but bear with me here and just explain to me what's going on.

Dated my ex 2 years. I took several breaks with her (I couldn't remain loyal) and then towards the 1.5 year mark she took a break with me (she found another dude on vacation). At first I was like.. um what? And then I got my head straight and told her that it was fine and that I wouldn't mind a break.

Now, she found another dude but he was long distance, so of course she came running back to me. I didn't take her back.. actually boned a few of her friends. After 3 or 4 months, I made a habit of sleeping with her every night or so late night. Nothing too emotional, just sex and some joking around. I never asked her about this dude (I hate to be jealous infront of women), but she kept saying to me that she didn't have sex with him and just kissed him and swore on her life and her whole family.. eh I don't know how much I still trust it.

This has been going on for awhile now. I started getting my feelings back for the girl, but before I really got back into her I caught her texting the same exact guy. He was saying like "oh i'd come down if i could" and she replied "yeah i wish"

This didn't surprise me, but pissed me off a bit. She'd been pretty much ****ing me every night and was still talking to this dude (why?). The only thing I can think of is that this dude's dad is like president of mastercard or w/e (but we are both good looking).

Then to take it to another level, her birthday is coming up in a few weeks. She invited all her girl friends, but not me. No problem. I wasn't too happy about how much I spent taking her out last year anyways. BUT then I find out she asked this dude to come. Now wtf?

Is she just using me for the sex and hoping that this guy falls in love with her? Or is she just a giant slut and wants to get ****ed by everyone?

I know I should let her go, but it's just so convenient to have a sex slave every night and I do admit I still have some feelings vested in her. When shes around here (at school) I know she's only sleeping with me, but I'm not going to lie this talk of her with this past dude hurts and pisses me off.

What's going on?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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blackhatter

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The question is what do I do when she wants to hang out with me (She will tonight, guaranteed)??

I see 3 options..

1. Tell her that I don't think it's healthy to see eachother anymore. I don't really want to bring up any of this stuff about this guy. She can just wonder why on her own accord.

2. Act like nothing happened. Hell what is wrong with free sex? In the history of our relationship, things have worked out MUCH better when I didn't act jealous and didn't really blink an eye when dudes texted her. However, this time it's a little more extreme.

3. Tell her that she's a steaming pile of **** and that she's been lying through her teeth this whole time and I know it. I really don't want to do this. In the long run, I know it will make me feel worse and make her feel better that she finally conquered my feelings. **** that.
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Having sex with someone regularly will make you have feelings for them. Which, is why in relationships sex makes us connect stronger.

So, just learn its mostly only for sex and nothing more with your situation. If you wanna stop having these feelings. Quit fvcking her.
 

blackhatter

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I.A.F.Y.B. said:
Having sex with someone regularly will make you have feelings for them. Which, is why in relationships sex makes us connect stronger.

So, just learn its mostly only for sex and nothing more with your situation. If you wanna stop having these feelings. Quit fvcking her.
I've just never heard of a girlfriend of that long turning into someone who just wants sex from you. I've heard of an ex who turns into your friend (almost all the time those *****s get rid of you then "try" to turn you into a friend). But it's quite odd that she's using me for sex after having an emotional connection for almost 2 years.

I can't really tell whats going on. Part of me is saying forget her and the other part of me is saying "just enjoy the sex and stop being jealous. If you just have fun with it, she's bound to bounce back."
 

I.A.F.Y.B.

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Maybe, she does want you back. Is she sexing this new "boyfriend"? Maybe, she only fvcks you and not him. So, if that would be the case. He is only their to make you jealous.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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blackhatter

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I.A.F.Y.B. said:
Maybe, she does want you back. Is she sexing this new "boyfriend"? Maybe, she only fvcks you and not him. So, if that would be the case. He is only their to make you jealous.
I doubt it. I mean she dropped me for him on vacation and then she came running back when she got back. No, she's not sexing him but thats probably because he lives a good ways away.

If she was trying to make me jealous, I feel as if she would do it on another level. She is being very secretive about talking to him.
 

Warrior74

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whats happening is your lying to yourself and your lying to us. Read my signature. You already know what to do. You know what the situation is, and you know what to do about it. Now what does a man do when he knows what to do? He does it.

What advice would you give to someone else who posted the exact same thing? You already know...you said it in your opening line. Man up. Stop being scared.
 

decades

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wow there is Zero respect between you two. each disrespecting the other. I see this relationship over very soon.
 

KontrollerX

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She's using you as a willing human dildo while she fantasizes that its the other guy who is fvcking her to mind blowing orgasms every night.

So in other words he's in her heart even though you are in her guts and it is always the guy who is in her heart that ultimately wields more power over her.

This is why when I recommend a DJ next a chick he next her entirely which means no giving the b!tch any booty calls as you are completely done with her in the fullest sense of the word done but eh whatever sometimes easy pvssy is just too hard for most guys to turn down.
 

PEPE LE PIU

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blackhatter said:
Is she just using me for the sex and hoping that this guy falls in love with her? Or is she just a giant slut and wants to get ****ed by everyone?
I vote for number 1. Added bonus, if things don't work out with the other guy she still has you. If I was you I would keep having sex with her but try to get rid of this "feeling" thing.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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blackhatter

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KontrollerX said:
She's using you as a willing human dildo while she fantasizes that its the other guy who is fvcking her to mind blowing orgasms every night.

So in other words he's in her heart even though you are in her guts and it is always the guy who is in her heart that ultimately wields more power over her.

This is why when I recommend a DJ next a chick he next her entirely which means no giving the b!tch any booty calls as you are completely done with her in the fullest sense of the word done but eh whatever sometimes easy pvssy is just too hard for most guys to turn down.
I'm not going to argue with you guys, as it's most likely right.

It's funny because lately she has been bringing it up to me that she doesn't want to be "led" on. And she wants to know that I care about her as just opposed to using her for sex. She asked if I wanted to be in a relationship with her in the future.

I answered the question with a simple, "we'll see where it goes." I know if I were to say "oh yeah babe, I do" then she'll just use my emotions to bring her confidence up and eventually just trash me again.

It's so funny.. while shes saying this shes been so shady. Hides her cell phone whenever she comes over (she doesnt want me to see any of her text messages).

I think I'm just going to stop hanging out with her so much and break off contact for a bit. Then when her IL is real high, I'll just give her the next she deserves. A next right now would just be repetative, as we've been off and on for so long. Meanwhile, time to look for other chicks to bone.
 
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