What if you're depressed?

[Rhino22]

Ok, I have been told by alot people that I am very attractive, nice, etc. I even banged this hot girl a week ago and all she could talk about was how big my ***k was and how hot I am. Don't get me wrong...it felt good at the time and it might have even boosted my ego a bit, but I fell back down the spiral after that. She isn't gf material though, so I'm not with her or anything. I did get out of a 4 year relationship in June where my ex really screwed me over...lied, cheated, etc. I think I'm depressed from it because she did contact me a few days ago. I walk around sometimes and I see this very hot girls checking me out but I don't do anything about it. It's like I don't wanna let anyone in at all.

I'm now talking to this very cute girl online and I think we have TONS in common but for some reason I don't even feel like calling her. She just sent me a message tonight saying, "What's wrong with the girls over there? You're way too cute and nice to be single." I don't know what's wrong with me right now and how to make it go away. Any suggestions?

 

[Warrior74]

Your depression has nothing to do with women. It has to do with your life. How is the rest of your life?

 

[Rhino22]

Well, to be honest I don't like my job. I'm not really sure what the future holds for me either to be honest. It's hard to just get a different job right now though.

 

[Warrior74]

Take your time man. There will always be women in the world. Realize that getting tons of women will not make you happy, or allivate your depression. Women are just for fun, a great past time.

Take some time to figure out your life. Find out what you want to do. Take some time to do somethings that you find enjoyable. What are your favorite pastimes/hobbies? Spend some time doing those. And make your time with women fun. Go enjoy yourself.

It takes time to get over a four year relationship. If you didn't choose to end it, that is probably eating at you. Realize that all relationships come to an end, via breakups, divorce, or death. Nothing last for ever man. Learn what you can from it. Morn it, bury it and move on. Don't rush to get in another relationship and only talk to women when you want to have fun with them, don't go spending a lot of time and please for the love of God don't go gushing about your ex. And go NC on the ex. Ignore her phone calls, delete her number/facebook/MS messenger, all of that crap. Your not a robot, your a person, be kind to yourself. Don't do what I did...I spent about a year drunk and high and miserable, then after that I still had to go back and take the time to sort myself out. Just skip to the sorting out part.
Good luck man..you'll pull through, just remember it takes time.

 

[Desert Fox]

Dude look past women for a sec and be like "what makes me happy?"

Write that sh1t down, write out a plan on how to get it. Break your plan down into little pieces like tasks you can do within a day.

Then execute. PROBLEM SOLVED.

 

[Remy]

Ok. You sound like you've held on to feelings, regarding this ex, that you didn't need for a long time. It probably hurts a bit on the one hand, but on the other, you must like that it hurts. It must make you feel human, or give the story of your life a bigger plot. Maybe it also gives you hope, that eventually you can still be with her.

Maybe while it makes you feel bad, it also makes you feel good.

But maybe you don't need it to make you feel good. Maybe you can just feel good without feeling bad.

You still, on some level, think that you need to feel this way about these things. And that's understandable, you've been told as much for probably your whole life, I know I was. The thing is, all the people who told you you were supposed to feel this way were fools. You think that holding strong to these silly feelings is a great value to have, because it's been thrown at you over and over.

But you don't have to. You don't need to be sad about any of this at all. It's okay, it's your life, and you are the only one who ever gets to decide how you feel or why you feel that way. You have exactly no obligation to anyone, or anything, in regards to your own emotions. Up until now, almost everything you've ever wanted or felt, it hasn't really been a choice, has it? Feelings and emotions, for most people they're like a message from God. Like you feel depressed and THAT IS JUST THAT. While that's cool for some people, it doesn't work for all of us. For some of us, feelings are just a goofy drug that doesn't help us at all.

And while a lot of value has probably been placed on your heart and your soul, these things are all well and good but they will still make you feel like **** unnecessarily.

Feeling guilty? Feeling pangs of loss? Regrets? These are not your responsibility. You don't owe your sadness to anyone, least of all a girl from years ago. I want you to especially focus on that fact. You have no obligation to these feelings. It won't change you who are, not really. You won't be any less you, you'll still like the same stuff, you'll still be the same guy. You'll just be kicking a bad habit.

 

[rusejery]

If I got depressed, I will stop working at a time and go to lonely place and motivate my self for a while and come back with good thoughts and memories in my mind.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Well, to be honest I don't like my job. I'm not really sure what the future holds for me either to be honest. It's hard to just get a different job right now though.

Then that's what you have to work through.