What if you fear...success?

[Pozitron]

I've read all these things, but I realized that I wasn't focusing on myself, on what I need to fix. I was trying not to be desperate or needy when I realized I never was in the first place and I could never be... etc.
Till some time ago I didn't know all this stuff so I acted based on what came naturally, based on my instinct ( as one should be--- but this is how I'm wired, this is what works for me, since some clearly need help with those things). I got many girls interested . All good till a point when they loose interest. I had girls hitting on me( what bigger boost to an AFC's ego?) and I turned them off.
One question arises: "WHY".
Why did I missed all those opportunities? WHY?

When I look back on it... one thing comes to mind : I was afraid of success. I was afraid of what would happen if they said yes ( that implies that I wasn't fearing rejection---no... I was pretty confident in my chances, don't you think?). I was afraid not to mess things up afterwords cause I've never been there. Never done that. It was unknown and still is... So at least for know it self like self sabotage...

So that's why I'm writing this, guys. Maybe some of you have been there and managed to pass that moment. Maybe many of you never faced this thing as I never face neediness. Pls help. I'm not desperate crying for help standing on my knees. Neah... I'm chill cause I learned not to take this stuff soo seriously.... (after all, they're just girls). I just wanna fix this for the future.
SO, what to do when you fear success ( as strange as it may sound), when you fear that reality cause you've never done that before ...
What to do once you can create attraction and interest naturally, no problem ( cause that's one thing I can do) ? What next? What's after that?

 

[Tortendieb]

I'm not a pro but it sounds very simple to me:

Learn to love success. Get some first success, then think about how good it feels. yeaaaaaah. FRICKIN AWESOME! I know you have some moments where you're king of the world.

Get a taste of your success and you'll love it. You'll desire it with a fury that will prevent you from walking away because you simply can't have that. Add some preparation and experience to that (so you actually know what to do with her) and you should be good.

And maybe you're thinking too far ahead. "Getting girls" seems like a huge chore to you. Date 1 2 x, hold flirty convo for hours, have action dates where, drinks where, how to kiss, how to get her home, aaaah! If you think like that it seems like a suicide mission, and your subconscious tells you to back off! So only think of 1-2 steps at a time. Think only of one day, and how you can have fun on that day. Add to that a healthy desire and you will want it.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Why did I missed all those opportunities? WHY?

SO, what to do when you fear success ( as strange as it may sound), when you fear that reality cause you've never done that before ...
What to do once you can create attraction and interest naturally, no problem ( cause that's one thing I can do) ? What next? What's after that?

How to overcome it? Simple. SUCCEED.
You're afraid of the unknown, not succes.

Why did you miss your opportunities? Let me tell you what. I've been there. SO MANY TIMES. This time a year ago I missed so many opportunities, and I knew what the fck I was doing. Now, what happened? The window of opportunity closed.

You cant have a chick hanging around without giving her anything. It felt good knowing that they wanted me, but I was postponing going for the kiss all the time. I was just too afraid.
You simply have to LEAD. You have to take the first step. You have to CLOSE.

What to do next? Take it a step further. Lead. Get some experience.

 

[Pozitron]

Learn to love success. Get some first success, then think about how good it feels. yeaaaaaah. FRICKIN AWESOME!

So you're saying to put in some effort to actually achieve success and once " I'll see the other side" I will have momentum and be willing to keep that feeling?

The window of opportunity closed

Yea..., that definitely happened to me. It's really hard to get a second chance. So The best will be to fully take every opportunity in the first place...

You cant have a chick hanging around without giving her anything

SO once I showed intention she joined for the ride but once I didn't moved things forward I blew it off?

You simply have to LEAD. You have to take the first step. You have to CLOSE.

1)Maybe I don't know what to do next or I keep questioning myself if it's the right thing to do.
2) How to know what to do next? ( as basic and AFC as may sound)
3) What do you meen by close? ( still knew to this stuff) ---> If it's one thing I think I do is I don't know (anyway, I don't do it) move things forward. I never seemed to have a clear purpose. So I get to a point and that's it.... sad, but true. What to do about this? ( seems to be the biggest problem)

 

[NorwegianDJ]

1) You're just making excuses.
2) It just flows. Dont overthink it.
3) Close means to end the interaction. However, what I mean is: Go for something sexual, like kissing, making out, bases, hell even holding hands (Always a good way to do it fast.)

You need to act in spite of your fear, simply.