"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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What if...you date is NOT your date?

The LadyKiller

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After some of my friends have bragged about their success with online dating, I decided to try it out. This week, I have a date set up with a HB7 (based off photos) who I connect well with. Hopefully HB7 looks dazzling, we hit it off and everything is great. But what if it doesn't?

I have had my share of bad dates in the past, that won't rattle me too much. What I am more worried about is this: HB7 walks through the door only to reveal she is not what I thought (bad, in a physical sense)? How do I react? Maybe her photos were from years back, or they were taken from certain angles, but HB7 looks nothing like HB7.

This is a shallow thread, yes. However, with online dating, there is more of an initial emphasis on looks. If my seemingly attractive date reveals herself to be overweight, otherwise unattractive etc., what do I do? I'm not the best with hiding my feelings. If I'm not interested in something, I pay attention much less.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Slickster

Master Don Juan
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Just take her out and have a good time and try to gain some experience. If you are looking online you probably need it.

Lose the ego. It's just a date.
 

rhythmic

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I insist on Skype-ing or similar before a meet with someone I met on the internet. I make out that I want them to see me, so that they know I'm who I say I am (which is also important) but really... I'm just making sure they didn't pull anything with their photos.

But once you're IN that situation live, do what the Slickster said, just have a good time. If she's less hot, she's probably more likely to have sex with you...
 

Asterisk

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If you think it's shallow to not find a woman physically attractive,
you're not looking deep enough into your own male mind!
 
B

BeDJ

Guest
I white knighted a date like this once, waste of time.

If she had the guts to put up "old" pictures, she can muster it up when I excuse myself after 5 minutes.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Masculinity

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Not shallow, man...relax. I personally identify with this feeling and I am sure many other DJ's would agree. What I have them do is send me a pic holding a sign that says "Hi [name]!" That way, you can be assured you are meeting an HB who looks good and not a fugly or a dude who's going to steal your kidneys.

I cannot stress this enough: always, always qualify her to show value and selectivity. For example, "I'd have to meet you in a wide-open, public place whee I can run away if you turn out to be psycho ;) " said in a playful manner almost always gets the girl cracking up, takes fear out from her part and makes her excited to meet you. Unlike other guys, this communicates you have standards and won't bend over backwards or settle just because she has a vagina.

Keep being money,

-R
 

J Roc

Master Don Juan
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If she walks through the door and is not up to your standards then get up and leave. Why waste your time and hard earned money on a chick that you arent feeling?
 

JohnnyStorm

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It really just depends doesn't it.
If you've gone to the effort of going someone to meet them I'd probably just hang around a while to try and determine whether there's anything I can get out of this or as to whether they are a complete liar.

If you really do have better things to do then maybe it's not worth wasting your time if you see it as such.

But there's always something to be learnt from every situation anyway.
 

VladPatton

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Slickster said:
Just take her out and have a good time and try to gain some experience. If you are looking online you probably need it.

Lose the ego. It's just a date.

What ego? I'd be pissed too if I were lied to, wouldn't you?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

The Duke

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When life gives you lemons.....make lemonade!

You can look at this several ways:

1. Get up and leave, and gain nothing.

or

2. Use this date to improve your social skills with women.
3. If you suspect this girl has a social circle you would like access to, tell her all you are looking for is friendship.

I once had a first date with a girl that was 100lbs heavier and 5-7yrs older than what her pictures showed. When I asked about her pics not matching her actual appearance, she told me they repainted her apartment and the paint fumes made her swell up! That was the biggest line of bull$hit I've ever heard from a female. I later found out she was married too.
 

moon goddess

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This happened to me. :cool: The guy in the picture didn't look EXACTLY like the guy I was meeting but they did look similar so I let it slide. He was attractive but he lied about his height in his profile. I google imaged his photo and it belongs to some guy who lives in New York. I found out later that this guy is married. FML
 
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