happysalamander
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Well, I definitely learned from my mistake so that I won't enter this position again, but anyway. How do you respond if a girl is basically giving you the freeze-out method? 
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
What if she freezes YOU out?
- Thread starter happysalamander
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Dante420
Master Don Juan
Troll?
I don't know what "Freezes you out" means, I could be dealing with it just never came across that term.
Think about nexting her
I don't know what "Freezes you out" means, I could be dealing with it just never came across that term.
Think about nexting her
happysalamander
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no i'm no troll this is just my first post.. I've been reading these forums for about a week now... it was a legit question... you know, "freeze-out".. In my first post I tried to say that but as a verb because it's happening currently.
Thanks for your response I will look up some more on 'nexting'.
to give you a little more detail though.. I made mistake #1 of letting her bring a couple friends to hang out with her when it was suppose to be us hanging out (not a date or anything though).. so anyway after a couple hours she says she's gotta go to take them back but up til then attraction/kino both felt like they were escalating at a nice rate. mistake #2 I said why don't you come back after you drop them off? she says ok I will I'll need directions again... and then several more mistakes came like... I volunteered to ride with cus it'd be easier to come back that way; she said she'd come back so i was being over-persistant when it was apparant over the phone she didnt really want to come back..
It was kind of wierd like texting, im all 'so are you coming back? " she says, "i'll be over soon. Its not too late?" I say "I stay up till 6/7 am sooo.. but hurry up" so like 20 mins later I call, no answer.. she texts back "im not coming" .. ignored my texts today..
I met her through a mutual friend who I talked to last night.. apparantly she thinks she can do whatever because I 'come running back'.. which is true to a point, I do after 6-7, 10 months I guess... I don't let my self get played I just will stop talking to her if it becomes too obvious. but at the same time she seems to get along well with me.
I'd like to reason that she doesn't hang out with me enough for me to have a chance to build good attraction, but that can't be right... if I played my cards right 2 hours would of been all the time in the world to want her coming back to hang out with me instead of vice versa.
Thanks for your response I will look up some more on 'nexting'.
to give you a little more detail though.. I made mistake #1 of letting her bring a couple friends to hang out with her when it was suppose to be us hanging out (not a date or anything though).. so anyway after a couple hours she says she's gotta go to take them back but up til then attraction/kino both felt like they were escalating at a nice rate. mistake #2 I said why don't you come back after you drop them off? she says ok I will I'll need directions again... and then several more mistakes came like... I volunteered to ride with cus it'd be easier to come back that way; she said she'd come back so i was being over-persistant when it was apparant over the phone she didnt really want to come back..
It was kind of wierd like texting, im all 'so are you coming back? " she says, "i'll be over soon. Its not too late?" I say "I stay up till 6/7 am sooo.. but hurry up" so like 20 mins later I call, no answer.. she texts back "im not coming" .. ignored my texts today..
I met her through a mutual friend who I talked to last night.. apparantly she thinks she can do whatever because I 'come running back'.. which is true to a point, I do after 6-7, 10 months I guess... I don't let my self get played I just will stop talking to her if it becomes too obvious. but at the same time she seems to get along well with me.
I'd like to reason that she doesn't hang out with me enough for me to have a chance to build good attraction, but that can't be right... if I played my cards right 2 hours would of been all the time in the world to want her coming back to hang out with me instead of vice versa.
The Comeback Kid
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Based on what you wrote, it seems you were getting pushed around. "Can I bring some friends over?" "What are the directions (she got herself there the first time, right)?" You deciding to ride with her. You then texting her a lot.
I'd say to STAY AWAY from this girl for close to a week and see what happens. If she doesn't contact you, then you can either "next" her or see if she'd like to meet you on an actual date. Igetit has a good post in his sig about this exact thing.
I'd say to STAY AWAY from this girl for close to a week and see what happens. If she doesn't contact you, then you can either "next" her or see if she'd like to meet you on an actual date. Igetit has a good post in his sig about this exact thing.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
happysalamander
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I agree with you both. I feel retarded for my blunders but I assure you I did/am doing (not sure which to say) better this time around than I did 10 months ago. So either way it's a win in my book.
Thanks a lot for Igetit's link, that's the best post I think I've ever read on making a recovery from something of this nature.
A little history...
I had SEVERE one-itis for another girl a year and a half ago (had it for about two years at that). We stopped talking and literally like 2 days later I met this girl I've currently been talking to. Goodbye and hello more one-itis... :cuss: . Anyway, we made out/hung out a lot for like 5 days then bammm no more contact from her. I was verrrry afc at the time too . I mean, more so than now. Noticeably. Anyway. So I didnt talk to her for about 5 months, then saw her maybe 1 day then. she had the control again so anyway stopped talking again... and after about 10 months (I was gone in basic training/tech school for half that time) we weren't talking.. then we talked a couple times on the phone before i came back home and started talkin a bit again and hung out a couple times.
First night we hung out though was some BULL.. I was in that part of town and she wanted to hang out so after doin what I was done doin, I decided to meet her and go over to her house where they were havin a party. I was having one later at my house though. Anyway, while I was there for like 15-20 mins, almost the entire time she was gone talking on her cell phone or with her room mate, and i was talking with these 2 people I didnt know. so I pretty much just got up and started to leave... then she was all alarmed go figure :crackup: anyways she came back to my house for a bit after that but unfortunately she brought a fat friend and some other HBs were 'mean muggin' her, so they left after maybe a half hour tops.
Thanks a lot for Igetit's link, that's the best post I think I've ever read on making a recovery from something of this nature.
A little history...
I had SEVERE one-itis for another girl a year and a half ago (had it for about two years at that). We stopped talking and literally like 2 days later I met this girl I've currently been talking to. Goodbye and hello more one-itis... :cuss: . Anyway, we made out/hung out a lot for like 5 days then bammm no more contact from her. I was verrrry afc at the time too . I mean, more so than now. Noticeably. Anyway. So I didnt talk to her for about 5 months, then saw her maybe 1 day then. she had the control again so anyway stopped talking again... and after about 10 months (I was gone in basic training/tech school for half that time) we weren't talking.. then we talked a couple times on the phone before i came back home and started talkin a bit again and hung out a couple times.
First night we hung out though was some BULL.. I was in that part of town and she wanted to hang out so after doin what I was done doin, I decided to meet her and go over to her house where they were havin a party. I was having one later at my house though. Anyway, while I was there for like 15-20 mins, almost the entire time she was gone talking on her cell phone or with her room mate, and i was talking with these 2 people I didnt know. so I pretty much just got up and started to leave... then she was all alarmed go figure :crackup: anyways she came back to my house for a bit after that but unfortunately she brought a fat friend and some other HBs were 'mean muggin' her, so they left after maybe a half hour tops.