"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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What I Say To Them (conversation journal)

bukowski_merit

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i no longer need to do approach journals or anything.... i have cleared myself of anxiety about approaching... i find it fun now...

plus there seems to be plenty of them on here with plenty of insight and advice...

so... this is going to be my conversation journal... mostly with woman who i've already had contact with... always looking for advice on what i said here and there... and willing to debate why i said what... this could be fun.. or this could be boring.... don't know... but am going to give it a try....

i talked to two girls tonight... so i'll start with those convo's...
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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bukowski_merit

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GIRL 1 (11-7-08/6:15PM) - Her and I have been messing around about a month. Only twice though, but we have pretty good chemistry and talk more than i probably should allow... but she's a cool HB7 (With the body of a HB10, just not the face of one)... and here's how it went:

HER (called me): I just heard that "oh no you didn't" song on the radio and tried to call you because i'd only heard it in that commerical and i told you how dumb the song was.

ME (having no idea what she's talking about): oh, that's cool...

bout 5 seconds of silence...

HER: Just called to share that with you - but you didn't answer and it went off before you called me back; but it was still funny.

ME: Yeah, haha (<fake laugh) funny...

some more silence...

HER: I'm going over my sisters house to help her plan the party tomorrow.

ME: You going to remember her name this time?

HER: (laughing) shut up!

ME: Well that's cool... Guess what i just cooked?

HER: Dry Chilli?

ME: No, Bison!

HER: What is that?

ME: That animal that looks like an overgrown bull. It's on the nickels.

HER: Oh... Bison! (i was ???? at that)

ME: Yes...

HER: You would cook something like that. (saying this in a sarcastic way)

ME: It's high in protein baby.

HER: Well, whatever floats your boat...

silence

ME: No, whatever floats my condom.

HER: (laughing) you say the weirdest things... what would make you think of that?

ME: You said boat and it made me think of my pen-is. Then naturally i thought of a condom.

HER: You're crazy. You know that?

ME: Yes. And you just got a rare look inside my crazy brain and how it works...

HER: I know. Should I feel honored?

ME: No, you should feel something else.

HER: What?

ME: HARD. (< i know this doesn't really make sense, but after the talk of penis and condom - this should naturally flash a good image in her head of me pounding her)

she laughs...

HER: Ok, I'm pulling into my sisters driveway. Gotta Go.

ME: Ok, make sure you pull out. Bye (< again, a sexual reference)

She laughs again and says bye and hangs up...

The Good: Had her laughing for 60% of the conversation... Made mostly sexual references towards the end. Showed my uniqueness.

The Bad: The beginning was real slow. I didn't have much to say because i was reading online about the diet i follow for my workout; and getting ready for my workout. It took me a minute to get into the conversation and it took me taking over the conversation to make it interesting.

The Ugly: This conversation did nothing in the long run, and was more friendly than i like to have.

-----

Girl 2 (11-7-08/7PM)

This girl is nuts and i probably shouldn't be talking to her, but she's a good lay. She's absolutely hard to get along with, but again - screams like a crying baby in bed (and we all know how good that makes us feel)

HER (called me): What's up?

ME: Just cooking my Bison. (< - I actually was eating it, but cooking sounds better than eating)

HER: Your Bison?

ME: Yeah, i just bought it from the grocery store.

HER: Let me guess - it was on sale.

ME: Yup.

HER: (laughing) How'd I guess?

NOTE: The Bison wasn't on sale. She came with me to go grocery shopping about a month ago and saw that i'm a cheap bastard buying almost nothing but foods on sale. She's made fun of me for that ever since, and i like to give her fuel to make fun of me because she seems to enjoy it.

HER: So what you doing tonight?

ME: Working out and sleeping.

HER: Not going out?

ME: No, nobody is having sales on beers tonight. (< - maybe i shouldn't have continued the joke, she didn't even acknowledge it.)

HER: ok, so can i come over tonight?

ME: what time?

HER: after the bars close (1-2am)

ME: Ok... but i might not want to have sex. I might just want to sleep, but you can sleep with me.

HER: You say that everytime.

ME: And you never let me... do you?

she laughs... (finally!!!)

HER: ok... see you tonight.

The Good: I'm getting laid tonight, unless she finds someone more interesting at the bar (not likely because she's not interesting enough)

The Bad: Shouldn't have made that joke about the bars not having sales on beers, should have saved that for a later time or not at all. Pretty boring conversation, didn't really build up her lust... but she's a weird person anyway, not even sure how to do that verbally to her...

The Ugly: She is absolutely crazy and i have no business talking to her or having her stay the night with me.
 
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Solomon

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GOod ****

we need more convo journals like this...this is how we can spot your interactions and break down what you are doing right or wrong

good concept

Solo
 

bukowski_merit

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well... i had a lot yesturday, but nothing worth posting... here's a little text message with a girl that we are taking a mutual break from each other because it got too hot too fast... my goal of this conversation was to get her to think about coming and having sex with me (i am not going to ask her to though because that gives her too much power).

HER: I hope you had a good weekend (she send me this every sunday; i think she wants me to respond "i didn't without you" or some BS)
ME: I did... Except [my roommate and her bf] woke me up at 2AM last night because they were having sex like me and you do... LOUD! They didn't last as long though!
HER: Haha, that's funny. Did you get on them about it?
ME: Naw. I have a headache today (not true - but she will assume it's because i'm hungover) and have barely been out of bed. I'm still going for my walk today though. Diet and walking is making my abs ripped again (i bulked up and lost my abs to both of our disliking).
HER: Good for you. Glad you had a good weekend. (I bet she is!!!)
ME: Yeah. I'm assuming you did as well?
HER: Yeah it was ok. My mom was really happy about her surprise party though.
ME: Turn that "ok" into a "good" since you've at least got to talk to me this weekend. She should be proud to have daughters like [i say her other two daughters names and leave out her].
HER: Funny =)

I left it at that...

The Good: I got in talk about how great out sex is, and how my roommate didn't compare. I also got in talk about my body and a little neg jabs.
The Bad: She didn't bite on any of the talk about the sex or my body. But i still put the imagery in her head.
The Ugly: If most of the people on here knew what i've put up with from this girl - they'd be getting on me for even talking to her a little bit. But that P*ssy is the tightest i've been in since high school!
 

bukowski_merit

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wow. just read "the online game"
signed up for match.com and then realized it's $40... i have enough p@ssy, i was just going to see if i learned anything in the hour it took me to skim the book... so i signed up for plentyoffish... within 20 minutes (And with a no found knowledge of online game) i had this convo with a HB8...

NOTE: This girl is very sexy, but had one of the bi-tchiest profiles i've read in a while. so... the subject line read

"You hold back too much. Open up more!"

MY EMAIL TO HER: just kidding with you... i read the whole thing because i was amazed with how random you were. i spend a lot of time browsing on here, but normally find that the face is cute, but the message is shallow. you tell it like you see it - good for you. you can have a cookie for that.

so how was your weekend? tell anyone off? =)


HER EMAIL TO ME: LOL you are too funny, thanks for the compliment hahaha, some people think im a **** i just like to say im too honest ;) thanks for reading the whole thing, ya im totally random because whatever is on my mind i speak it lol so therefore im EXTREMELY random cause i think wayyyyyy too much hahhahahahahaha..... so ya, there ya go, well i just got home from a baby shower and now im goign to the after party so you just caught me in time :) besos, ashley


MY EMAIL TO HER: I can't at all imagine why some people might think you're a **** - I'm not even sure what a **** is! =) Wow!... yeah... Thinking too much is not a bad thing, unless all you think about is stuff like sex and food - sex is bad to think about all the time because then it'll never be as good as your thoughts, food is bad to think about all the time because it'll make you hungry... and thinking about food and sex at the same time is the worse... =) [note: i have no idea what made me write that, but i was too tired to think of anything better]

is the baby shower yours? besos? jon


HER EMAIL TO ME: HAHAHAHA HELL NO the baby shower was NOT mine it was my friends and besos is kiss in spanish, italian, u know.... ashley


MY EMAIL TO HER (# close): it's a little early to be throwing kisses around like that, how bout a hug first? (yeah this internet thing is weird)

my ex was puerto rican, but she never spoke any spanish to me... ever =(

since this POF thing is so weird - why don't you send me your cell number or email or something so we can chat in a lil more real setting.

names jon by the way, all this hugging and kissing and didn't even know my name =)


HER: laughed and gave me her number


sh!t that was easy! now i gotta think of what to say to some random chick off the internet because it's been a while since i tried the internet thing...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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