What I am feeling

[ssj245]

Do you guys remember the Matrix...and how Neo took the pill that told him the truth about the world.

Im 19 yrs old and in college and I think im seeing things in a new way or in a way that is not healthy or is healthy. Im not sure which.

First of all a little bit about me, I suck with women, I have only had sex with one girl and we were in a LTR and I have kissed about 4 girls. I had one club hookup that led to me sucking some breasts...thats it. Thats my action with girls. I get nervous when I talk to them. I HATE talking to random girls, because I get very nervous and uncomfortable. I have to force myself to do it, and I dont psyche myself up anymore because its too much pressure, my mind says yes, my body says no and it wants to run.

Anyway Im reading posts, and listening to conversations of women talking about men and I just get this sense of feeling that women decieve men on many levels about many things. Its the guys job to play the game right to get what he wants and thats ****. Women want sex too, but they have a gate or a test waiting first. If you pass through then she will let down her guard and reveal her slutty side. If your game is tight then you can bring down the gate. Most men seek relationships with women for sex, women want men to be caring and suportive and seduce them then they wont feel guitly about having sex. Look at all this BS, "the game" as it is called that we play.

It seems so difficult that the end result is not worth going after, when most guys just want sex after all and not meaningful realtionships. If your after the woman that completes you and shares those intrests and life partner values, then yes play the game and take your time and not devote your thought to breaking down her barriers as fast as you would like them.

Normally guys want the barriers to come down, have sex and then if their cool stick around and if not go after something else.

NOW me personally being so shy, I just dont have the motivation to play the game anymore just to get sex, because thats all I want right now. If I have to play so many games just to get a girl naked, then forget it. I can spend my life and focus on other things like baseball or studies or partying and drinking with my buddies.

I feel like I am in a sour grapes situation, for those guys who can get girls easily, im sure this post sounds moronic, but for me getting girls is hard and Ive spent the last two years trying to improve and I havent gotten very far. So just for sex spending so much time on agonizing and trying hard to improve and trying to psyche myself up to talk to chicks and play all those games and then just have a naked girl as the end product doesnt feel like the time is worth it anymore.

 

[Sam Gold]

Hmmm.

From that perspective, yes it is all BS. Over time, it really is a game...I learned to accept it. As cheesy as it sounds, man I used to hate the phrase: "Don't hate the player, hate the game". NOW That PHRASE sums it all imho. You know, ignorance is bliss. Girls are stupid, but ladies are different. Real men are attracted to real ladies, and real ladies bring out the best in men. Unfortunately, your not going to meet a lot of real ladies, and yes they tend to be slightly older. If you don't want to put up with the tests and utter BS, then don't...it's your life...my other advice is hook up with the international hotties.

ALSO:
Nothing wrong in focusing on yourself...but I also recommend enjoying life like you stated: hang with your buds(girls come and go, but true friends are long lasting), celebrate with alcohol, graduate, make money. Remember, WE ALL WANT SEX, and when I say ALL, that means all women. Oh yeah, nothing in this life comes easy...FACT OF LIFE.

Hope it helps...if anything your in good shape imho.

 

[Tomatoes]

If i offered you sex.....every single day of your life....with ANY women in the world....You choice. Anything you want. Give it a week and you wouldnt want it anymore. It would bore you. If everything was easy we think life would be great....in actual fact its not. Its the hard things in life that make it intresting. To me.....Part of the game of getting a girl to lower her guard is part of the challenge and the fun of it. It also means when i do get her to lower it feels like a greater achivement. You are looking at it in a very bias perspective.....that perspective is "my mind is being to AFC to pull girls so i am going to come up with excuses."

I used to do the same.....any excuse.....

If you dont want sex....then dont bother...I have a mate who goes out and gets fit women all over him. Hes not intrested....He doesnt want sex right now so he just ignores it (makes them do it more often). Hes happy without sex right now and good for him....Wouldnt work for me

If you want sex without effort.....get a hooker...but to be honest with you if you spend some time improving your game and you will be able to pull girls. Anyone can pull girls.....we all have "the gift". Most of us dont use it or hide it thow.

You say all you want is sex? Dont you want to find a partner in life? Maybe not today.....but one day? Or die alone? I would start improving your game now so when the point comes when you do give a **** you have a leg to stand on.

My philsopy on women is I will spend my time looking for the girl of my dreams and until im there i will have some fun on the way (Lots of fun )

 

[ssj245]

Its just so hard.

Its just that getting women is so difficult for me. That if I continue to focus on them that I tend to agonzie over them and over anazlize everything.

Just talking to women is very difficult for me, becuase when I am in the situation that I get very nervous and afraid, and I tend to think so much that it doesnt seem natural and it doesnt flow for me and it doesnt feel comfortable like when I talk to guys.

Now thats just girls which talk to me. But now going up to strangers or women around me and then talking and being interesting and getting them attracted to me, thats even harder than women talking to me. I see so many women around me, but I just dont know what to say and Im too afriad to say it.

Its so hard to let go of my ego.

My philosohpy is the same....but I just dont have enough women in my life.

About sex and women, I just cant give up...Im making excuses to not do what all men have to do. Im just afraid and I dont want to do it.

I think the first good thing is to not take women so seriously and importantly, and not to think about them for too long.

Its just that I dont know how to play the game...cuz thats all it really is, and I dont know how to play it, so it makes is very hard for me to get girls and that makes me frustrated since I make so much effort and I get nada. So I feel like quiting, by not even trying and thinking I have a chance.

Ill see a women and its seems so much easier to just dismiss her say, I would never have a chance with her rather than expect more from myself and then try to talk to her or create oppurtunites to talk to her, and fail and have to deal with that disapointment.

Low self confidence makes me afraid of taking chances because I have a hard time dealing with disappointment and my ego getting hurt.

Anybody have any opinions?

 

[Sean O]

Read the DJ Bible. If you already have, read it again. Keep reading it until you have the revelation that we all had when we first came to this site. There will be a "click", and suddenly your perspective on this whole thing will change... and that's the first important step towards becoming a DJ.

 

[mrRuckus]

Do you guys remember the Matrix...and how Neo took the pill that told him the truth about the world.

Haha stopped reading here before the fight club quotes.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Seek out chicks that you would never get in bed with unless your life depended on it, and get comfortable with them. They're still girls so you'll get more comfortable, and you might even meet a hot friend or two. That's how I started out with breaking my confidence level. I found those girls who I looked at and said, I'd bang her, if I was so wasted that I couldn't see straight. Having one or two female friends who are just cool people and who you don't even want to have sex with helps too. At least it has helped me because I get lots of advice from her, and I met and became friends with one of her super hottttttt roomates.

edit: and the reason I became friends with her super hot roomate is because her roomate saw what a good time she was having with me, and wanted in on the action. If I hadn't been spotted having such a good time with her roomate, she probably never would have given me one look, let alone two.

 

[ssj245]

hm..

To my understanding the bibble has taught me a few things..that is that girls dont like nice guys at all. That you have to be a challenge and that you can be one by neg hitting her and making fun of her, by being c&f and letting her see a confident side of you. Thats what I understand.

Now getting myself to where I can do those things is a diffrent story. I can understand all I want but it doesnt change who I am though or what I do once I am in that situation.

 

[Sam Gold]

ssj245: Read if you care, but it's going to be long...(no shortcuts in life).

You have to learn to love yourself. Another cheesy line, but it is true. You can't love others until you love yourself. Yeah Yeah, you've heard/read it 1000 times. The catch is when you love yourself, that means you are not insecure with yourself, and you've accept your demons/fears or even conquered them. Females will be the first one to notice, they will feel your vibe when you walk into the class room.

Personally, it took me forever to truly love myself. I joke with my friends, but I always say RULE #1...is to look out for #1(yourself).

Kinda weird, it's like having a relationship with yourself...

1) I recommend working out! Go do research, get tips from trainers/friends or people at the gym. Gotta take the initiative to learn how to work out properly.

Excercising and lifting weights has improved my image and posture, but that's only half of it. Physically I look great on the outside, but my "inner" self is still nothing remotely close to my physical image. I can not help you with your "inner game"(different for everyone and I'm still learning), but I do know the site has some basic universal tips that alleviate some possible social blunders, and the site offers some insight on how the opposite sex thinks and feels in some situations.

2) You don't have to go out and talk to only girls, go talk to guys. Some guys know girls. Those same girls may know other girls. Create a social circle. Join a club with lots of ladies in it, or join a dance club. Social networking is part of the whole "game". It's true, some ugly and chubby girls might have hot girl friends, BE FRIENDS WITH THE GIRLS YOU ARE NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO, you'll learn so much from them if you take the initiative to learn and ask them questions.

3) Lastly...lay off the masturbation heh or learn to control it. TESTOSTERONE, or what I call T-Juice is your livelihood; T-juice is what gives me initiative.

A bit about me...so you know who your taking advice from.

I do not get laid often. I am freaking picky. I make mistakes, hell I pass up ***** and I am well aware of it. I still get rejected, actually I get ****blocked more now..still a rejection to me. Each rejection makes me want to talk to more girls. YUP! I only want to score with chicks I am totally attracted to, and I have...and I am just beginning to realize the "player" inside me. I have the courage to talk to ladies who are 10's TO MY STANDARDS, but I do not supplicate nor go out of my way to please a woman. Don't get me wrong, there are hotties that turn me into a little boy again. Oh yeah, I don't use techniques. I rely on my gut instinct. One day you'll click, and then go WOAH...just a small taste of what BEING a real MAN is, will make you feel taller, you accomplish more things, and you'll project a vibe that women will detect and are drawn to, and other men will feel threatened by it. What's really cool is you do meet a few guys that are like you and truly understand what being a REAL man is all about.

 

[diablo]

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