What Have I become?

[Sp1kez]

Picked up this girl, date went fine, she called me and set up next date, then we did this for some weeks. After about a month she asked me what I wanted out of this and I gave her an open-ended answer and asked what she wanted it, she told me she wanted a relationship with me so I agreed. Then I find out that when I met her she was engaged (had only been engaged for 1 week) and that she dropped the other guy for me (Yes I WAS that good). She even quit her job and got a job on the same mall I work at.

5 months later Im in love with this girl, she means the world to me and she loves me too, however,I have lost all my game and im ***** whipped now. I have become a control freak, im clingy and I dont even see my friends anymore. The problem is that I dont want to be like this, and she doesnt want me to either, but how do I go back to that IM THE PRIZE attitude and how do I go back to that "I Wait for her to call" thing when my body is itching to pick up that phone and call? Normally I would just occupy my mind with some other girl, but this is different ....this is a relationship and I cant just go out and pick up some one new...

I dont know if I should end it and look for some1 new.

 

[BigNiQ]

Ok, this is a relationship and you can't just pick up someone new as you said... Do you have any hobbies other than the girl? Basketball? Football? Video games? Hell, painting? If you're out with your friends playing basketball, you're not gonna be thinking about the girl the whole time, which will make you more relaxed. Because if all you do is think about her, that's all your life is gonna consist of. That, and work of course.

I don't know about you, but when all I do is think about a girl when I'm not with her, I get bad thoughts like "what's she doing right now?" "Who the hell is she with?!" And things like that.

To get back into the I'm the prize thought process, that's easy... Read the DJ bible (again if you have) and that will remind you of all the things you did, and just implement them back into your life.

 

[superchristx]

You feel pretty strongly, but sometimes feelings can be an illusion. Some ppl in the PUA community don't believe in love, clearly you do. If you think this is love, are you ready to put it to the test? It's easy to love a woman if its just you and her, in a little bubble. You need to get out there, stay in your game. Keep talking to strangers, meeting new women, spending time with them. If your girl is the one for you, there's nothing to be afraid of. In any case, you have nothing to fear but the truth, and the truth will come out by your staying in the dating scene.

She wants you back the way you were, talk to her and say that you just need some seperate time, to go to clubs and be your old self. She'll understand, and if she doesn't.. why are you even? I mean, don't tell her everything. Speak in euphamisms, but basically get her consent.

 

[Sp1kez]

Thats exactly what I do....I know that if Im not with her shes usually getting showered with attention from guys so thats why I get nervous and insecure, the worst thing is that i let it show and now she knwos im a jealous person.

The thing is that if i just tell ehr that im going to the gym with ym friends she gets pissed and says that i put my friends before her...i stopped going to the gym as much because of that....and then today we had plans and she just didnt "feel" like being with me and i got pissed and then she said that I was the one who is selfish with her time....

I dont know what to do or what to think...she hung up on me and didnt answer when I called back so I guess I can just go out tonight or soemthing but i need to get my mind off her

I told her that I needed some time off one time and she flipped out and told me that taking time off means ****ing other people and thats what she would do if I did.

gosh I have turned AFC

 

[Docs]

if i just tell ehr that im going tot he gym with ym friends she gets pissed and says that i put my friends before her...i stopped going to the gym as much because of that....and then today we had plans and she just didnt "feel" like being with me and i got pissed and then she said that I was the one who is selfish with her time....

I know what you lack. You are weak, too easy to give in, or otherwords, you lack a ability to do your own thing.

The next time she says that you put your friends before her, keep walking.

The next time she says that she's not in the mood to hang out with you, then when she wants you to drive her somewhere, or to buy her something, all you have to say is that 'you aren't in the mood to do that'

Yeah, it will cause fights, but if she cracks from that, you'll be thanking me after the breakup for how you could of seen yourself married to her....or, she'll grow up real fast when you stomp your foot on her fragile world.

Comprehende?

 

[Sp1kez]

We just broke up

=(

Oh well, I guess I should learn from my mistakes so that they are never repeated again.

I guess i'll be visitng this board more often now...

 

[El MonoLoco]

You win some you lose some...


Time to move on....

 

[KarmaSutra]

You win some you lose some...


Time to move on....

If you look at each relationship as a learning experience it'll ease the pain.

 

[coder]

You have found the BIG TRAP. This is exactly what happens. You can commit to a woman, but not become her b!tch. She will do everything in her power to make you her b!tch, but you must not. If she objects to you going to the gym, go anyway. Be willing to fight about it. If she says taking a break means screwing other people, say, "that's fine. But if you do, we're done." If you let her control you, which she will try very hard to do, she will lose all attraction for you and dump you. Logic tells us to "be nice" to keep the girl. This is what AFC's do. Being nice means not cheating on her or hurting her in any way. It does not mean catering to her every whim, paying for her sh!t and doing all her work. Live and learn. You are lucky you didn't marry her already. Next time you will know what to do. Get over her the same way women get over men; screw someone else as soon as possible. It will break the connection in your mind.