"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What happens when you neg a self conscious girl?

Brighty

Master Don Juan
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There's a girl in my class who I flirt back in forth with and today when I went over to talk to her and her friend, her friend made a remark about her cleavage sticking out. I, for better or worse, playfully made fun of her for unbuttoning her shirt to expose the most cleavage and playfully implied that she was attention wh0re for having her cleavage stick out. I was hoping to get a positive reaction out of her (like she'd play along with it), and her friend laughed, but instead she immediately got on the defensive and acted all self-conscious about it. This struck me as odd, because she's probably one of the top five best looking Juniors at our school and I didn't figure she'd be that self conscious. Well, not expecting it to go like that, things became kinda awkward so I just laughed it off and changed the subject.

I feel kind of bad now, she's a nice girl. But her not going along with the neg totally caught me off guard, what do you guys typically do when a neg goes sour? Do you guys go into a conversation with a Plan B if the neg backfires or if the conversation gets stale or what?

This was my first time trying a neg as bold as this one, typically I stick to the little negs that seem to work, maybe I went too bold or crossed a line.

Thanks guys.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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MisterMcGee

Master Don Juan
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A girl told me how she wants abs. I was like 'you dont have abs?' she's like 'no i have flabb' or whatever. she also told me she wants to lose weight before she goes on vacation.

Later on in the night she noticed her shirt (tna) was ripping around the waist. She was like :O noo. I'm like "that's the extra pounds kicking in :p" and she was like :O and hit my arm as I was laughing playfully at her, she was like "youre an *******!" and did the whole 'sore and angry' thing.
This girl is obviously not fat at all. I'm a pretty bold person when it comes to these kinds of things, she knows this is how I kid around and that my rudeness and *******ness is just me being playful and busting balls.

It all depends on how you say it. Of course it's still RUDE to even joke about a girl being fat or whatnot cause thats one place you simply DONT GO; it's no-man's-land. However, I pulled it off and she simply sees it as what it was - me being an ass in order to bust her balls.
She brought up her weight to me, she mentions these things randomly, so I call her bet and raise the stakes. I don't initiate these things. If she makes random comments about her physique, expect something in return. That's how I do things. Maybe she's fishing for compliments and is using these random comments about herself as 'bait', but I don't fall for that and neither should you if such a thing happens.
Of course, give her the pleasure of knowing you are capable of genuinely complimenting her. Later on in the same night after making that 'weight' joke, I told her I prefer her hair curly, not straight, and that she should wear it curly the next time I see her. She told me I'm the only guy who thinks that, and that all guys like her hair straight.
Lo and behold, she wore her hair curly, and approached me saying "look! curly :)"

So don't apologize. You can say things like "yeah yeah you know I kid" as a way to belittle her sore reaction to your ball busting.
 

Following_of_Me

Don Juan
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You called her a *****...has nothin to do with the type of girl she is, it's just offensive almost all of the time.

People forget that a "neg" has to be playful AND not blatantly insulting.

What you should have said:

Friend: You're showing cleavage
You: haha she's just trying to hold my attention

The difference is that the comment above, while not particularly inventive (give me a break, I'm sick), is better because it doesn't insult her, it's just a playful comment.
 

MisterMcGee

Master Don Juan
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Yeah exactly. I don't 'neg' as some sort of lame strategy. I tease and make fun cause it's fun and it's what I do. And in my case, I called her on her own little 'insult my own weight' streak and joined in with my own tease about her. It's all fun, so long as you aren't getting 'out of character' or trying too hard (or trying at all).
 
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